SHOW # 1567 SEPTEMBER 12 2012

Today we stumbled upon some monumentally unimportant information, but it's that kind of thing that really piques our interest.  We're simple folk.  Today we had "Three Pointless Abilities People Love to Brag About"... and I'm guilty of two of them.  We also had "10 Tricks that Give You Power Over Your Body"... things like getting rid of pins and needles, how to suppress your urge to go to the bathroom and how to get rid of brain-freeze.  And, finally, we uncovered an article that reveals how the 'big brains' at MIT have solved that age- old puzzle of how to get catsup out of a glass bottle.  So busy with this investigation, they, seemingly, missed that revolution known as the plastic squeeze bottle.  Anyway, all of us have a useless talent or ability that, given the chance, we'll share with the world.  Today we asked you to share that talent with us.  Whether you know card tricks, can burp on command, untie any knot presented to you or you can lick your elbows, we wanted to know:  WHAT USELESS ABILITY HAVE YOU MASTERED... AND WHEN HAVE YOU WHIPPED IT OUT?
She can crush beer and soda cans between her shoulder blades... this begs the question; how did she discover this ability?
He can break dance... used to be part of a breaking "crew", but now, at 27 years of age and 205 pounds of person, he only does it when he's drunk.  Oddly enough, I've never been able to break dance, but I'll do it when I'm drunk too.
Although we found out later in the conversation that she can tie a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue, she chose to FIRST tell us that she can pick her nose with her tongue.  Explains that it comes in handt when snowboarding
Unlike me, she can untie any knot
Can wiggle both ears at the same time or one at a time... helps that he's half dog
Can mop "like a son- of- a- bitch"... who doesn't wanna mop like a "son- of- a- bitch"?
Not sure if I believe this, but he claims that he can tie a cigarette, then untie it and smoke it without ripping or tearing it
Can do most "food challenges", including drinking a gallon of milk in an hour and (I've never heard of this one) eat 2 bananas and chug a Sprite (???)
Can write simultaneously with both hands.. I think DaVinci was known for that.  Well, DaVinci is known for a lot of things, but ALSO that
Alright bitches, time for some New Originals practice!  I'm feeling it tonight.  Gonna beat my bass like it's personal.
Until tomorrow, why have you forsaken me and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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09/12/2012 5:19PM
SHOW # 1567 SEPTEMBER 12 2012
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