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Liberal, consecutive, religious, atheist, male or female; one thing pretty much everyone in this country can agree on is that you can sue just about anyone for anyTHING. Say I break into your house (and I fully plan on doing precisely that... you've been warned), trip over a floorboard and break my leg. I'm suing YOU for negligence. This is America, bitch, and it's up to make your home more burglar- friendly. Hell, in 1999, a 27- year- old man in Florida was determined to fulfill his lifelong dream of swimming with killer whales. What did he do? He broke into Sea World and hopped into a tank with a killer whale. The killer whale happened to be Tillicum (noted killer) and Tillicum did what we know Tillicum to do... he killed the bastard. The guy's parents SUCCESSFULLY sued Sea World because the folks at Sea World never displayed signs that there's a reason a killer whale is called a KILLER whale. They're not whales, so only one of the two words is true. More recently, a woman in Canada (even the Canucks get sue- happy) launched a lawsuit against Roger's Wireless (think Verizon or Sprint) because her cell phone records were bundled into the same bill as their home phone... and that's how her husband discovered that she was cheating on him. He left her and now she's suing the phone company because it is (in her mind) the company's fault that she got busted. Yep. Look, if you get pulled over for speeding, don't blame the car's manufacturer for building a fast vehicle. If you get busted for shoplifting, don't blame the product for being irresistible... except for today: IF YOU COULD, WHO OR WHAT WOULD YOU BLAME FOR SOMETHING THAT IS ENTIRELY YOUR OWN FAULT?
Blames us for getting him fired. You see, he called into the show about 3 years ago to let us know that while his girlfriend doesn't like weed, he smokes it regularly; even show up to work high. His bosses heard him and fired him the next day. Yea, sorry dude.
The NFL... big guy already, but always gains weight during football season
Credit cards... their fault that he's in debt
His dentist... sure, he doesn't brush regularly or floss all that much, but the dentist is the one who keeps removing teeth
Blames his ex- girlfriend for his D.U.I.; sure, he did all the drinking AND the driving, but he really DID ask his ex for a ride home and she wouldn't do it. Bitch
Blames her surgeon for her bad hips... yes, she was born with bad hips, but the doctor keeps messing with them, and replacing dying joints with titanium
Vegas... countless infractions
When he was 9- years- old, he blamed his cousin for ruining his father's match collection. Father banned the cousin from the house. He's 24- years- old now and he still hasn't confessed
Blames porn for raising his expectations, thus; difficulty accepting reality
Us (again)... turning him onto tequila... gives him acid reflux
Blames his 'overweight' mother for addiction to butter... used to eat just butter... even used to hide it in the closet in his room so he could eat it at night. That seems f**king crazy to me.
OK bitches, the weekend is here. New Originals play tomorrow night at Louie G's in Fife as part of Dream Fest. A bunch of bands playing, including us. Hope to see you there. It's an outdoor deal and tomorrow is supposed to be sweet on the weather- tip.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"