Thee Ted Smith

 


SHOW # 1589 OCTOBER 12 2012

"Hola,
 
So there's some boy- band from England (I think) called One Direction.  Maybe you've heard of them, maybe not... doesn't matter.  all you need to know is that they're all the rage right now.  Some guy in the band, Harry Stiles, (is that name for real?) is heavily tattooed and recently he did a shirtless photo shoot to show off his ink. Instead of people being impressed by his dermatological artwork, the focus was on his formerly unknown third nipple.  Yea, he's been fielding questions about his extra nip ever since.  Meanwhile, our very own Thee Ted Smith is suffering from Achilles tendonitis.  I don't know exactly what that is, but anything that ends with 'itis' is, generally, something you'd like to avoid.  Anyway, he was given crutches, but there are two types of crutches out there... the ones that fit under your armpits that say 'injury' and the ones with handles that wrap around your forearms that say 'polio'.  Ted got the latter, so he looks like someone with a birth defect, not an injured ankle... and he's hating it.  We, of course, have been laughing at him.  Today's question:  WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING YOU'VE HAD TO ENDURE?
 
Rolled into work late and then had to excuse himself to buy some new clothes because he discovered that he'd crapped himself from the night before
 
Lived with his grandmother when he was 13... she quietly replaced the Sears catalog in the bathroom with Reader's Digest.  She never said anything, but, clearly, she'd figured out that he was jerking it to the bra section of the catalog
 
Was busted soaking his junk in a glass of vinegar... don't ask
 
Mom caught him jerking off when he was 14... she called friends, family and church members to see if they thought it was normal
 
Got diarrhea on a ferry... 'painted' the entire stall and got reprimanded by a ferry employee
 
Dad walked in on him measuring his d*ck with a ruler
 
Had to go to the doctor because she got a contraceptive sponge stuck in her wookie
 
His friend decided to masturbate with his eyes closed while wearing headphones, listening to music.  When he 'finished', there was a sandwich and a glass of milk on his dresser.  His mother had walked in on him, dropped of the food and said nothing.  Terrifying
 
Performing the long jump in high school... at the moment he jumped, he sh*t himself in front of the entire class
 
Her son found her bi- sexual swinger pictures on the computer
 
Used to be a stripper... her boyfriend's son came into the club one night while she was on- stage
 
Ok bitches, the weekend is upon us, so I say we get it started. 
 
Have yourselves a fine few days, amigos and until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"



Tags :  
Topics : Human Interest
People : Harry StilesTed Smith




 
10/12/2012 5:23PM
SHOW # 1589 OCTOBER 12 2012
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