Reality TV... namely the Kardashians, politics and the tsunami of idiocy they inspire, frivolous lawsuits, the comments section of online news articles, the crazy, old bitch who lives behind me, picking up dog poop, Christmas music and having to wear a suit. What do any of these things have in common? Easy, these are the things I'd miss the least should the world end tomorrow... which it won't. As you probably know, in spite of no Mayans ever suggesting that the world will end tomorrow, a bunch of people are suggesting that the Mayans said exactly that, and with that, the pseudo- apocalypse is big business. Well, for argument's sake, let's say the world does come to a screeching halt tomorrow, today we wanted to know: WHAT WILL YOU NOT MISS?
His ex- wife
Dr. Phil... I thought we were done with Dr. Phil, then he shows up on some car commercial
Going to work... hates his job and almost WANTS the world to end, just to avoid another day
Religious extremists... as he sees it, anyone who tries to put their religious "values" on others is an extremists and he will miss none of them
Auto- tune and skinny jeans on "men". It should be noted that there's no such thing as "skinny jeans" for men. They're simply women's jeans repackaged for guys because enough hipsters jumped on the bandwagon. True.
As a pre- op transsexual, he won't miss his ex wives... or his penis... or his testicles
Won't miss people who answer their own questions
If the world ends tomorrow, he won't miss people telling him that the world is ending
His 5 HOUR commute everyday. That's just f**king ridiculous
ESPN's love affair with Tim Tebow
Our show. Thank you for the kind words
His wife, as in his current wife
OK bitches, I'm outta here. Tomorrow is our final show of the year.
Until tomorrow, get on the snake and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"