SHOW # 1631 JANUARY 2 2013

86- year- old Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner exchanged vows with 26- year- old Playboy model (and 2009 Playboy Playmate of the Year) Crystal Harris at a private ceremony on New Year's Eve.  This marks Hugh's third marriage.  The difference this time around is that Crystal is also known as "the runaway bride" because she's the same woman who broke off her engagement to Hugh 5 days before they were supposed to get married in 2011.  So why did he take her back?  Because she's hot, really hot... and really hot chicks prevent us men from thinking clearly.  There are examples of this throughout all of history... and in many cases, the woman in question wasn't that great looking, she was willing to spread her legs.  Empires and kingdoms have fallen, politicians are continually disgraced, golfers lose endorsements (and their swagger) for a manager of Perkins (???) and CIA leaders have retired prematurely... all in the quest for a slice.  Today we wanted to know what happened to you:  WHEN DID THE FIRE IN YOUR LOINS ERASE THE LOGIC IN YOUR BRAIN?
Got a little too flirty with a female cop who was writing him a ticket... not a good idea, but I find it intriguing that he saw a hot female cop
At age 19, he met a broad who was secretly just looking for a sperm donor.  She showed him with all the "I love you's" and that stuff.  She had the kid (9 years ag) and moved to Texas
Went back to an ex... who'd CHASED HIM WITH A KNIFE!!!  It didn’t last
Hooked up with a chick in a Port- a- Potty when he was in Basic Training
His friend called him to say that he was with a woman who wanted to have sex with him.  Like any young man, he met up with her, and in spite of her being ugly, lazy and SMELLY (seriously, he said he could smell her... THAT part of her before he even saw her face) he had sex with her anyway
She was hot, but she was also an alcoholic... not unlike my first wife.  True
Dated a woman for 4 months before he found out that she was engaged
Needed some ass on his last day of leave before returning to duty... the woman was, and I quote, "fat and had a mustache" but he plowed that big, hairy field anyway
Hooked up with a chick who was on an outing from an insane asylum.  Had sex with her in a restaurant walk- in where he worked.  A few weeks later she was released from the loony- bin and they MOVED IN TOGETHER!  A few weeks later, he broke it off with her, and as a reminder that she was f**king crazy, she returned to burn his house down
OK bitches, I'm outta here... for the first time this year.  I can tell you that, to a man on this show, we're glad to be back.  Lemme rephrase that... we're glaaaaad to be back.  That's how we roll.
Until tomorrow, grab the year by the ballS, make it your bitch and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

Tags :  
Topics : Human Interest
Locations : Texas
People : Crystal HarrisHugh HefnerPlayboy Playmate

01/02/2013 5:27PM
SHOW # 1631 JANUARY 2 2013
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