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www.slate.com opened the floodgates of stupid when they asked people to submit the biggest unanswered question on their minds. Since America is in the current intellectual state it's in, here are some of the questions asked: "can a bar of soap get dirty?", "why do rich and famous women sunbathe topless?" and one of the most important questions ever posed by mankind, "why are smart people usually ugly?". I'll share the rest of the list in a few minutes. Well, I don't know how long it'll take you to read this, so maybe a few minutes, maybe a few seconds. In the meantime, just know that last year, 2012, scientists confirmed the existence of the Higg-s boson/ God(damn) particle, there was the Arab Spring, a rover successfully landed on Mars and 620 million people went without power in India in the world's largest blackout. What was the top Google search? Whitney Houston. And that, my friends, tells you everything you need to know about the current state of the world. anyway, against our better judgment, we decided to ask: "IF YOU COULD GET THE ANSWER TO ONE QUESTION, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Before I get to your questions from today, here's the rest of the questions that people submitted to Slate:
"When did mankind figure out that sex causes babies?"
" Why do we all hate the sound of our voice on a recording?"
"Can mankind blow up the moon?"
"Why do boys like sticks so much?"
"If a Siamese twin commits murder, does his brother get punished too?" Well, not if the twins are women.
"What is the most disloyal dog breed?"
"Why don't we drop medical waste into volcanoes?"
Remember, these are the most "pressing" questions on the minds of your compatriots. Consider yourself warned.
As for the questions we were asked today:
Why do politicians lie so much? Because they can and we allow them too and we keep voting for them anyway. Wouldn't you? There's no real repercussions, so what's to stop them?
What do women want? That's a ridiculous question because women will tell you what they want every chance they get.
With shows like 'Honey- Boo- Boo', '16 and Pregnant' and anything to do with the Kardashians', can we still be considered 'intelligent life'? Sentient maybe. Intelligent, no.
What is love? The emotion that leads you to ruin or true happiness.
Who stole his Mac Book Pro? Not me... but I would have. Mac Books are very good computers.
Does God truly exist OR what would his life be like if he weren't disabled? Depends who you ask and more than likely, you'd take your health for granted, like most of us.
Why are bitches crazy? No one knows. No one.
Why does his ex wife still hate him 4 years later? Because you cheated on her, man.
Why are farts so funny? Because nature wants everyone to be able to laugh.
OK bitches, the weekend is upon us and I'm ready to get it started. My Ravens face the Broncos tomorrow in Denver, so as of 1 o'clock tomorrow, I'll be a bit intense. At 4 o'clock tomorrow, I get my latest tattoo finished, so by then, I'll be in a good mood, one way or another. Needles and ink, bitches. Nothing better. Well, bacon and sex maybe.
Have a good weekend, amigos.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"