SHOW # 1678 MARCH 14 2013
It used to be the "Dear Abby" column, syndicated to newspapers across the country, where anonymous people could ask advice for their personal problems. Now it's "Dear Prudence"... and like Abby before her, Prudence does the best she can to provide guidance to those who think they need it. Every- so- often, she HAS to ask herself, "why do I do this job?". Case- in- point, she recently fielded a question that asked, ina nutshell, "is it creepy to offer my dead wife's vibrator to someone else?"
Of course it's f**king creepy! The real victim in all of this is the poor girlfriend of the guy who's offering the vibrator. It just doesn't get more awkward than that. maybe it does. Today we wanted to hear your stories of personal discomfort; mom walked in on you masturbating? Farted during a prayer at a funeral? The ugly girl overheard you telling poeple just how ugly you thought she is. Today we wanted to know: WHAT WAS THE MOST AWKWARD SITUATION YOU'VE FOUND YOURSELF IN?
Made a joke about his friend's mom... who was standing behind him
Having sex with a woman when his father came home... and walked in to hand him a bag of candy
Moved to America from Mongolia (sooooo many Mongolians in America these days)... first friend he made happened to be a gay guy. Other people asked him if HE was gay. Looked up the definition ('happy') and said 'yes'. Things got weird
His awkward moment was when his friends outted him
First time she met her boyfriend's (now husband's) family, it was at Thanksgiving dinner. She was supposed to meet his brother, his aunt and his father. Basically, they sat around for awhile, but it was just his brother and 2 aunts. Finally asked where his dad was, and that's when she found out that his father was a transvestite and had been there the whole time
Just today, he had to give a group presentation; plugged his laptop into the projector and discovered that his brother had sabotaged his display and replaced it with granny porn from YouTube
Good: getting head while driving... Bad: getting pulled over by the police while getting head while driving Awkward: the cop who pulled you over is the uncle of the woman giving you head while you were driving
Told a woman, "calm down. I know you're pregnant." She wasn't pregnant
Had to hide in a closet after his girlfriend's mother came home unexpectedly... it was only awkward because after half an hour of hiding, her mother found him anyway
Cut school and went to his girlfriend's house to have sex. They were getting jiggy in the shower when the girl's prison guard dad came home... pulled him out of the shower by the hair, pinned him down and pulled a gun on him. After threatening to shoot him "in the f**king head!", he threw him out of the house (still naked)
Ok bitches... it's been awkward, so I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, your pride has never been stolen, so STAY BEAUTIFUL!"