SHOW # 1864 JANUARY 23 2014
Don't drink and drive. Wear a seatbelt. Wear a helmet when you ride a motorcycle. Wear a condom. Don't eat undercooked chicken. Don't jam a Q- Tip into your ear. Always read the fine print. Don't accept packages from strangers. Don't eat raw cookie dough. None of these are new warnings, but most of us have ignored them more than once and, if you're unfortunate, ignoring these warnings came back to haunt you. That's what we wanted to know today: WHAT SIMPLE SAFETY PRECAUTION SHOULD YOU HAVE FOLLOWED?
Riding his bike as a kid without a helmet... crashed into a parked car and needed 13 stitches to close his face. Still doesn't wear a helmet
Dad always told him not to have sex when he was drunk because "nothing good will happen"... he found out when he had drunk sex and was accused of rape the next day. The charges were eventually dropped
Was removing old flooring with a saw but didn't wear safety goggles... got a metal splinter in his eye
Lost 3 fingers cutting hardwood flooring. Avoid floors
Climbed up to the top rung of a ladder, fell off and cracked two ribs
Discovered that if you spill gasoline on your clothes, you should remove them BEFORE approaching an open flame
Wear a condom! Got a girl pregnant on their second date and now they have a 2- year- old son
Shot himself in the leg with a gun... he also went skiing in the out of bounds area, clipped a tree and scalped himself
Went to Saigon for work and ignored everyone's advice to not eat the local food... spent two weeks on the toilet with fire- hot sh*ts
... is in town and will be performing tonight at the Tacoma Comedy Club, but he dropped by the studio first. To say that we had fun would be an understatement. He's one of those guys whose laugh is infectious. Definitely a fun time.
OK bitches, I'm outta here like Vladimir... which means absolutely nothing.
Until tomorrow, suck on it and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"