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Like every July 4th weekend, Nathan’s Hot Dogs in New York held their annual hot dog eating contest. Just in case you’re not up on the world of competitive eating, between 2001 and 2006, 130 pound Japanese sensation Takeru Kobayashi won the thing, but for the last three years the title has belonged to California’s own Joey Chestnut. Well, due to contract difficulties, Kobayashi was unable to compete this year, but when people noticed he was in the crowd, they began chanting “let him eat, let him eat!” Overcome with the public support, Kobayashi jumped on stage and… was promptly handcuffed, arrested and thrown in jail. Meanwhile, Dave Chappelle was on a private jet over the weekend flying from lovely New Jersey to the equally lovely Ohio. The plane made an emergency landing in Pennsylvania, and not because there was anything wrong with the plane, but because there was something wrong with the passenger. Basically, it sounds like Dave was hopped up on some turbo- drugs, couldn’t handle it and started acting out in ways that put the flight at risk. His publicist explained that Dave ate some “disagreeable” and had to use the bathroom, but the kind on the plane, which, for the record, is a regular f**king bathroom. Speaking of aviation problems, some guy temporarily shut down Sea- Tac Airport yesterday when he ran by security in Concourse C and attempted to board a plane down the jetway. He was tackled and “subdued” by passengers waiting to board their flight. Nevertheless, this guy’s moment of crazy caused delays and headaches for everyone who ISN’T him… and isn’t that the real problem with crazy people? They can never just be crazy on their own, they have to be crazy in a way that ruins everyone elses day, and that brings us to today’s question: WHEN DID YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH A CRAZY PERSON?
His ex- broke up with her and she started screaming, crying, flailing and ripping the hair out of her head… IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET
Someone broke into his house at # am
When he used to work at a casino, some woman started screaming that tourists were after her… then she ran face- first into a pair of glass doors
Had to deal with a “crazy Jesus lady” on a bus… he made the mistake of saying “no” when she asked if he believed in God and then had to listen to her impromptu sermon for the duration of the bus ride. That’s always fun
Bought a McDonald’s hamburger for his daughter at an airport. A vegan stranger immediately scolded him for preparing his daughter to become “a fat slut” (???). Anyway, the vegan nut- job snatched the burger out his daughter’s hand and threw it down the hall.
Was at Heathrow Airport when a terrorist left a suitcase bomb
A guy knocked on his door and told him to call the cops because he’s a murderer
A guy ran through his yard naked while masturbating before disappearing into the woods. Sleep tight
I’ll finish with this one, as the stories don’t get “better” than this;
Worked at a jail, got a new inmate who “promptly” stripped naked, wrote his name on the wall with poop and then ate a handful of it. Dinner anyone?
SIT and SPIN
Today was Tool Super Tuesday, so we had Jolene come in and read a list of the top 10 Tools in Rock. Click here for the full wrap up.
So we had a few of the guys on from “Red, White and Dead” on last week and they were encouraging listeners to join them in their Freemont zombie walk so they win the record back from the undead in England. Well, they did it and Guinness Book will recognize their achievement. Congratulations to everyone who, uh, did whatever it is zombies do.
Good to be back.
Until tomorrow, hang ‘em high and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”