SHOW # 1079 July 14 2010

“Hola awkward momentolas,

We all know the story; Sarah Palin gets the Republic vice- Presidential nomination and we get all the dirt on her family.  The big thing was that her daughter Bristol, who was 17 at the time, received the seed of some goof- ball named Levi Johnston.  To the shock of exactly NO ONE, their relationship fizzled and then they aired their dirty laundry and accusations publically.  Yea, well, Bristol and Levi announced just today that they’re now engaged (again) and plan on being married in the next SIX WEEKS.  We can only imagine that neither Sarah, nor her husband Todd were thrilled by the news.  Keep in mind, the guy their daughter is marrying accused Sarah of making fun of her own baby who has Down’s Syndrome, claimed that she had possibly cheated on Todd and that their marriage was always in a state of collapse.  None of it was true.  Now imagine Bristol telling her parents that she’s marrying THAT guy.  Yea, awkward.  Speaking of ‘awkward’, we talked to the owner and proprietor of the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, and the gist of the conversation was to get our very own Thee Ted Smith a freebie at his brothel for his 30th birthday.  Nothing awkward about that part, but at some point, Ted has to explain to his family why he won’t be spending his 30th birthday with them.  That should be awesomely awkward.  Everyone has a moment or two like that with family and that’s the motivation for today’s question:  WHAT’S THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE OR EMBARRASSING NEWS YOU’VE EVER HAD TO SHARE WITH FAMILY?

Had to share that he was having a baby with a one night stand… he didn’t wanna be with her so she freaked out and claimed he raped her (so HER parents wouldn’t kill her) but in the end it was all resolved and the kid was adopted

Had to tell his parents he was addicted to cocaine (he was SMOKING that sh*t too)

Had to tell HIS family that he was raped!  Terrible story; got rufey’d at age 14 by a 30 year old man and was violated exactly the way you think he was.  Not a cool thing to share with the family.

Had a bladder infection, but didn’t know it until after he had to ask his mother why there was blood in his semen.

At age 9 he had to tell his parents (a) that he’d just crashed the snowmobile he wasn’t supposed to be riding in the first place, (b) his parents were gonna have to pay for the damages and (c) it was the NEIGHBOR’S snowmobile that he’d stolen.  Good times.

Had to call her Jehovah's Witness parents from jail for armed robbery

Had to cancel his wedding a month out because he got busted cheating

At a party, made a beer run, came back to the wrong house and was promptly arrested… had to call dad

His mother had to inspect his junk when he was 16

Had to tell her parents that she was in porn.  Well, she didn’t actually tell them, her mother figured it out after surfing Facebook

OK, time for me go, but before I do, just wanna let you know that Dennis Hoff agreed to hook Ted up with an all inclusive trip to the Bunny Ranch.  Lucky bastard.

Until  tomorrow, be about and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

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07/14/2010 1:44PM
SHOW # 1079 July 14 2010
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