SHOW # 1142 October 15 2010
Patty Murray and Dino Rossie held a debate last night, each one of them pretending NOT to be a blind follower of their respective parties. The debate was the typical political nonsense we’ve come to expect from these sorts of people, but the real excitement happened just BEFORE the debate when some crazy dude with a meat cleaver decided to threaten Murray supporters. Some people vote, some people go crazy. Case- in- point, a lunatic in Virginia got into an argument with his brother over a pair of shoes; he wanted to borrow his brother’s sneakers because they went with his ‘ensemble’, but his brother wouldn’t loan them to him, so he went outside and lit their dog on fire. (???) Maybe he needs anger management classes. Then again, a woman in Bellevue was stabbed by another woman DURING anger management class last Saturday, so maybe not. Incidentally, the classes aren’t working. A guy in Pennsylvania drove his girlfriend off the road because she took away his Play Station. She took it because he won’t get a job and keeps playing video games. A woman in Portland swung a meat cleaver at 2 police officers the other day because, well, who the hell knows why? Let’s face it, people are Goddamn crazy, but some are crazier than others and we’re betting you have your own examples. WHEN I THINK ABOUT SOMEONE OPENING UP A CAN OF ‘CRAZY’, I THINK ABOUT _________.
The very first image that pops into my head is my ex- wife. I won’t even go through all of the possible examples of her brand of crazy, but trust me when I tell you that most people couldn’t be that crazy if they put in the effort. That woman is nuttier than a squirrel turd.
That’s what I think about; here’s what you think about when you think crazy:
His ex- roommate/ piece of booty faked a pregnancy to keep him around
Fight broke out at a party and someone upped the crazy by breaking out a samurai sword… and the guy wasn’t a samurai
Co- worker showed up to work naked… and they don’t work in porn
His super- psycho ex called him 212 times in 90 minutes because she thought he was cheating on her. Had to get a restraining order
Was held at gun- point for 30 minutes by a meth- head
Ex- boyfriend tried to run over her with his car… so she stayed with him for 3 more years
His friend’s wife slit her own throat with scissors because he’d threatened to leave her. It worked and he stayed
“The Queen of the Gypsies”… the “queen” is a (bat- sh*t crazy) woman who called us about a year ago. She claimed she was the queen of the gypsies (among many other things) and was the strangest person we’ve ever talked to- and that’s saying something.
OK, meeting the wife for dinner, bitches.
Have a good weekend or a great one… your choice.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”