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SHOW # 1274 May 11 2011

“Hola,

The fine folks at Yahoo just released a list of the “25 Manners Every Kid Should Know by Age 9”.  The list was actually put together by Doctor David Lowry, and, PhD or not, his list of manners is pretty basic.  That being said, just because the list is basic, doesn’t necessarily mean anyone is actually teaching their kids these manners.  Review the list for yourself: chances are, it brought back memories from childhood of your parents telling you to stop being rude.  Speaking of ‘rude kids’, if you believe the fun- police at the Parents Television Council, it’s TV shows that are corrupting the sweet minds of today’s youth.  In fact, one member of the PTC, Barbara Warburton, says she willing to “do whatever it takes to prevent children from watching ‘corrupting’ TV shows like ‘Family Guy’”.  Two things you should know about Barbara Warburton; #1, she admits that she’s never actually SEEN the show (but has read reviews, so, you know, there’s that) and #2, her son Patrick (a.k.a. ‘Puddy’, a.k.a. the Tick) is the voice of Joe Swanson, a character ON ‘Family Guy’.  Yes, Babs knows this, but since her son is “willing to offend God” (seriously, lady?) she’s hoping the show (she’s never seen) is cancelled.  Gotta love parents… their influence, good or bad, never goes away.  That’s what we wanted to talk about today… not the parents, but the kids:  WHAT DO YOU HATE ABOUT KIDS?

Before I had a kid, my short answer would have been ‘everything’.  Now, as a proud father, my answer is ALMOST everything.  Make no mistake, I love MY kid, just not yours.  I’m sure they’re OK, but like anything, I don’t want to know them.  By the way, I should state that I’m WELL aware that I’m a d*ck, but I’m just being honest.

Anyway, after hearing some of your answers today, I’m not the only d*ck out there:

Lack of gratefulness… has two teens

They screw up all of your plans… has 4 kids… stop f**king your wife and you’ll have more time

Their parents

They cost too much, they smell, ask too many questions and talk too loud… this from a proud parent

They become teenagers

Hates when kids tell him “you just don’t understand”, as though he were born at age 30

Their sense of entitlement… that’s not the kids fault, that’s entirely on the parents and all of this nonsense that no one is a loser, blah, blah, blah.  Guess what?  Some kids are losers, some kids suck and some kids are failures… it’s just how life is, it’s OK.

Public temper tantrums

Their unwavering honesty… actually, that’s the one thing I truly appreciate about kids; they’re not full of sh*t

Lack of respect for adults… that can always be adjusted on the fly

The timing of their bathroom breaks sucks

Staring… kids LOVE to stare… kinda freaky, man.  They’re like little Satans

Manners at restaurants

Teens swearing in public… I was guilty of that and still am

The high pitched scream of teenage girls

That’s all I’ve got today, bitches.

Until tomorrow, walk softly and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”


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05/11/2011 1:58PM
SHOW # 1274 May 11 2011
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05/11/2011 4:58PM
Liam
When you're walking through the mall or other large public setting and YOU'RE the one that has to avoid the pesky childre! I'm 6'1" and i don't see all the little runts. They see me so the should move out of the way.
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