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SHOW # 1371 October 20 2011

“Hola,

Maybe you saw the news this morning and thought Carlos Santana or Gene Simmons had been killed… but no, that was Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi.  After 42 years of ruling Libya with an iron fist and months of bloody clashes with rebel forces, Gadhafi was killed.  There are conflicting reports, but rumor has it that he was hiding in a ditch or something.  Who knows?  We know Saddam Hussein was hiding in a hole when American forces found his hairy ass, and Osama bin Laden was living large in a mansion in Pakistan  because he knew American forces were looking for him in Afghanistan.  The point being, he was looking to avoid American forces at all costs… and I think we know why.  Most of us aren’t quite the pathetic, ego- maniacal douche- bags that dictators and terrorists are, and most of us don’t have entire countries looking to hunt us down, but all of us, in the course of our lives, screwed up or screwed someone over and make it a point to avoid crossing paths with the offended parties.  Whether you owe someone money, slept with somebody else’s girlfriend (or boyfriend) or just said some choice words you now regret, there’s someone out there you hope to NOT run into.  Today we wanted to know, OTHER than an ex:  WHO’S THE ONE PERSON ON THE PLANET WHO YOU SHOULD AVOID AT ALL COSTS AND WHY?

Her own mother… not because her mother is an overbearing bitch or anything, but because she’s incontinent and refuses to wear an adult diaper.  In other words, she avoids her mother because her mother is a poop- in- the- pants machine.  I get it.

His boss… his boss is a douche, but more than that, he doesn’t like his boss getting too close to him because it’s likely that the boss will smell the booze on his breath.  Seems strange to me… never had a job where I wouldn’t just inform my co-workers that I’m still drunk from the night before.  On the other hand, this particular guy works in security and I work in the farthest thing from it

A specific co- worker who just won’t shut the hell up when he sees you.  There’s one at every work place

Wants to avoid the “dirty” DEA agent he had to deal with… personally, I try to avoid DEA agents whether they’re ‘dirty’ or on the level, but that’s just me.

His ex’s father… his ex moved in with him on her 18th birthday and her father was none too happy about it.  We don’t know how things ended or what went wrong, but he still feels compelled to avoid her father.  Probably a good idea

His ex- wife’s mother… quite the opposite of above; when his ex announced that she wanted a divorce, her mother started hitting on him.  Said she’s good looking, but it ain’t right and she won’t stop the pursuit

His sister’s ex… he was a meth addict AND physically abused his sister.  If he sees him, he’ll kick his ass

Needs to avoid his “friend” who’s been in prison for the last year because he’s been f**king his girlfriend for the last 12 months.  This is NOT going to end well

OK bitches, I’m outta here for the day!

Have yourselves a fine evening… or don’t.  Your choice.

Until tomorrow, smile for the camera and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”


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10/20/2011 2:07PM
SHOW # 1371 October 20 2011
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