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If you’re reading this blog, Harold Camping was wrong… again. You remember Harold; he’s the phony religious “prophet” who bilked his (surprisingly large number of) followers out of tens of millions of dollars when he convinced these idiots that the world would end on Saturday, May 21st. Yea, THAT guy. Well, after collecting everyone’s money, he explained that his initial prediction for the Rapture was wrong based on faulty math. According to Harold, Biblical math is different than regular math. Not to worry, after a few adjustments Harold says that TODAY, October 21st will be the day the world ends. Wrong again, my man. Then there’s Moammar Gadhafi; a few months ago he did an interview with Christian Arampour (or whatever the hell her name is) where she asked him about the Libyan rebellion. Gadhafi, looking sharp as always in his sunglasses and flowing, pastel robes (???) explained that EVERY world leader faces opposition but he wasn’t worried because, as he put it, his countrymen “love” him and they would “protect” him. We found out yesterday, after they found him in a sewer drain, pulled him out, beat his ass in the streets and put a bullet (or two) in his head. That, my friends, is not love. Love is the kind of thing you find at a wedding. Just two months ago Kim Kardashian and some idiot got married. The whole thing was televised on E! Network and everyone with no life sat around and watched it. That was about 8 weeks ago… they’re filing for divorce. Didn’t see THAT coming! This leads to today’s question: WHEN WERE YOU THE WRONGEST?
Yes, we KNOW, ‘wrongest’ is not a word.
Took his first wife back after she kicked her drug habit… she hadn’t kicked her drug habit and he ended with a record and $25,000 in debt
Decided to drink Jagermeister AFTER midnight… never a good idea. Jagermeister might not be a good idea any time!
Had a strained muscle on his inner thigh so he decided to put Icey- Hot on it… TERRIBLE idea
Bought his “dream car”, a Mitsubishi 3000 GT VR 4… so what went wrong? It had 51,000 miles on it, or as he put it, right before everything broke
Was the wrongest when she left a message for boyfriend #1 on the phone of boyfriend #2… I remember that message; just heartbreaking
The time he didn’t listen to his girlfriend when she warned him not to hang out with a certain guy. Should have listened because he got 15 years for armed robbery… he’s on year 9. Called us from the Stafford Creek Correctional Facility where we are, according to him, very popular. So now I’m pushing the idea of doing a show from there, like Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison
Beat up the guy who broke into his car… he was ‘wrongest’ because he beat up the wrong guy… that’s a thing
Thought his live-in girlfriend of 3 months was 18… not only was she NOT 18, she was a runaway. He didn’t know this, of course, so imagine his surprise when the cops confronted them at the Puyallup Fair. The ONLY reason he didn’t get arrested is because this girl had duped several other men
Took a $500 dare to pierce his junk… not that big of a deal, but the piercing became infected; that’s bad. Got worse when it swelled up like “a balloon”, but it got the worstest (I know that’s not a word too) when the doctors had to CHOP OFF THE TOP! We nicknamed his junk the Headless Horsemen
OK, the weekend is here and I’m ready to enjoy it. Do the same, but remember (seriously) the Viaduct is going down for the next 9 days and traffic will be F**KED UP all over town. Eep it in mind, keep your road rage to a minimum and come back Monday. We can all complain about it then.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”