www.Slate.com has an article called ‘A Brief History of Abbreviations That Are Already Taken’. Essentially, it’s an article that explains the confusion some people have when referring to or reading about different organizations. Most recently, Republican Presidential candidate Herman “999” Cain has been accused of sexually harassing three different women while he was head of the NRA. See, he was never the head of the National Rifle Association, but the National RESTAURANT Association. Earlier this week in New Yorker Magazine there was an article about NATO threatening action against Universal Pictures. Sounds a bit extreme until you realize that the NATO in question isn’t the North Atlantic Treaty Organization but the National Association of Theater Owners. That makes a lot more sense. Then there’s British actor Mark Chapman. In 1985 he earned the right to play John Lennon in the biopic “John and Yoko: A Love Story”, but he lost the gig because the guy who shot and killed John Lennon in real life was named… Mark Chapman. What are the odds? And who could forget earlier this year when Fort Wayne, Indiana decided NOT to name their new government building after, arguably, their finest mayor ever, Mr. Harry Baals… pronounced “hairy balls”. This brings us to today’s question: WHAT ABOUT YOUR NAME HAS BEEN UNFORTUNATE OR THE SUBJECT OF RIDICULE?
Here’s what we heard today:
His initials are A.S.S.
His name is Raw Lou
Last name Cocker
His initials are B.M.
He’s 23 and his name is Keith Richards
Last name is ‘Coon’
Name is John- Paul and everyone assumes he was named after the Pope
Went to school with a Harry Barber and a Candy Mann
Barry A. Bone
Last name is Duschl… as in a douche with an L at the end
Last name is Butkey
His brother’s name is Dick Pack
His last name is Mustard
Her name is Tammy Faye
Last name WAS Dickhoff… has changed it to simply Hoff
On a field trip years ago they met a logger named Dick Rasch
His name is Mathew Bate… oh so close
Her name is Sharon Hoel… that’s my favorite name today. Gotta wonder if she’s ever been involved in a 3-way?
OK bitches, it’s Friday so I’m gonna pack it in and head to the great beyond. Actually, that sounds like I’m gonna kill myself… that is not the case.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”