It’s no secret that, with a few exceptions, the average politician is one of two things, a bald- face liar or bone- chillingly stupid. Sometimes’ they’re both. Last night, Texas Governor and Republican Presidential hopeful Rick Perry was in Minnesota with a handful of other dolts for one those pointless debates. At one point Perry said that if he were President he would eliminate three federal agencies; Commerce, Education and, I quote; “what’s the third one there? Let’s see. The third agency of the government I would do away with- the Education, the Commerce. And let’s see… I can’t… The third one, I can’t… oops.” That’s his ACTUAL quote. It’s not that people don’t get tongue- tied, but it’s hard to convince people of your conviction for something you yourself don’t know. Just sayin’. On the bright side, I wouldn’t believe a word out of his mouth even if he’d said what he ‘meant’. Taking it all in stride, however, Perry plans on going on Letterman and the Daily Show to do a little damage control. Meanwhile, Ashton Kutcher has never done anything to convince the world at large that he’s an intellectual heavyweight (although he’s nowhere near as stupid as he acts), but when he tweeted that he can’t believe that Joe Paterno was fired by Penn State. He even added that he thought it was in bad taste. The twitter backlash was also his education about WHY Joe “Pa” lost his job. One of his ‘followers’ responded, “F—k you! He covered up child rape you sick ,geriatric f—k!” Ashton responded, “had no idea. Thought it was a football thing.” Now Ashton has pledged to stop tweeting until ‘his people’ could properly manage his feed. (???) Once again- damage control. Today’s question: WHEN’S THE ONE TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOU COULD HAVE USED DAMAGE CONTROL?
Normally I take this opportunity to repeat some of the answers we heard today, but based on the nature of the question, the answers were way too long and involved for me to even attempt… so I won’t.
Well, now a few hours have passed since I typed the above paragraph, si I’ve gots ta run, bithces!
Until tomorrow, say happy birthday to the Marine Corps and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”