SHOW # 1422 January 19 2012

Mark Wahlberg, a.k.a. Marky- Mark, was interviewed by "Men's Journal".  Not sure how they got on the topic, but they started talking about masturbation, and that's when Mark revealed that he doesn't do it.  It's not a religious or moral stance, just says he's not into punching the clown, badgering the witness or burping the worm.  That's right, according to Wahlberg, he never clears the snorkel, five- knuckle shuffles or greases the hog.  Assuming he's telling the truth and he never loves the Muppet, milks the lizard or rubs the pony, he's got to be one of the very, very few men on this planet who doesn't.  Personally, I can't imagine a world where I don't tickle the underbelly, but that's just me.  Or is it?  Inevitably, all of us find no joy, inspiration or entertainment in something that everyone else seems to love.  If you're a guy who doesn't like football or a woman who doesn't like shoes, you know what we're talking about.  WHAT DOES IT SEEM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ENJOYS BUT YOU?
The snow... I know a lot of people who say they like the snow and I am not one of them.  Always hated it, so these last few days are like a cruel, cruel joke.
Porn... I don't even know how to respond to that.  It doesn't make sense to me
Vegetables... AMEN!  I'm constantly astounded by how many people love vegetables.  With few exceptions, I think vegetables and excrement taste about the same.  However, at 42- years- old, I've also discovered that vegetables, while healthy, are absolutely, positively are not a required part of a healthy diet.
Coffee... doesn't like the smell or the taste.  Says he's not a normal Seattleite
He's a guy (hence 'he') but he doesn't like the UFC... I don't DISlike it, but I don't pay much attention to it
Nirvana... doesn't like the band
Thinks that Big Mac's suck... my problem with the Big Mac is that it has lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and other undesirable vegetables on it
Popcorn... says he hates it.  How can you hate popcorn.  I mean, you might not like it, but he HATES it?  Strange
'Words with Friends'... I've heard about it, but don't much about it... and I have no friends
Golf... calls it the biggest waste of time in the world and doesn't understand how anyone enjoys it
In spite of being 300 pounds, he doesn't like doughnuts... how can you not like a doughnut?  It's a doughnut.  It's deep fried awesomeness
Ice cream... doesn't like the texture, the temperature or any of the flavors
Karaoke... gotta agree with him, I do not like karaoke.  That's not entirely true; I'm indifferent to karaoke, it's the people who choose to sing that I have a problem with
Cheese... come on, man, cheese is awesome!
Doesn't like going to bars... again, I find this concept alien
3-D movies... hates them!  To me it depends entirely on the movie itself.  Once saw a porn in 3-D back in Baltimore.  Seemed like a really good idea, but I forgot that I'd see swinging testicles.   Not cool.  By the way, the guy who hates 3-D movies is blind in one eye and can't see the 3-D
She doesn't like bacon (which is absolutely f**king insane) or Johnny Depp, who is absolutely f**king insane
Thong underwear... says if a woman is wearing thong underwear it's a deal breaker.  Yea, f**k that noise, man... your goal is to get her OUT of whatever type of underwear she's wearing.  She could be wearing Underoos and I wouldn't care
OK bitches, I'm outta here for a third night in a hotel.  Wanna say 'thank you' to the snow.  You're a peach... and by no means do I actually wanna see my daughter.  Thanks again!
Until tomorrow, one is the loneliest number that you'll ever know, so STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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Topics : Human Interest
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Locations : Baltimore
People : Johnny DeppMark Wahlberg

01/19/2012 5:28PM
SHOW # 1422 January 19 2012
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