SHOW # 1429 January 31 2012

Earlier this month, a guy from England tweeted that he was going to 'destroy America' before he boarded a flight  to Los Angeles.  He probably could have phrased his intentions a little better, but what he MEANT was that he was gonna get drunk and party his ass off.  The Department of Homeland Security didn't understand his meaning, so he was detained.  That's to be expected.  What wasn't expected is that no one at the DHS was aware that 'destroy' is British slang for "party"... and even though the guy spent 12 HOURS explaining this to the brain trust that supposedly protects this country, he and his girlfriend were deported.  Hey, DHS, have you even HEARD of Wikipedia?  It does wonders.  Besides, I can't think of a slang term for drinking, being drunk or partying that, taken out of context, DOESN'T sound threatening; hammered, stoned, smashed, f**ked up, paralyzed, sh*t- faced, etc.  Don't use those terms around the DHS.  They don't get it.  Sad but true.  Meanwhile, outside of San Francisco, a National Parks ranger Tasered a guy for committing an atrocious and unspeakable act... walking his dog without a leash!  I know!  LOCK YOUR DOORS!  It's no secret that overreaction is the new, hip thing in this country, or as Shakespeare would say, there is much ado about nothing... and we've all been the victim of a punishment that doesn't fit the crime.  Today we wanted to know:  LEGAL OR NOT, WHAT IS THE MOST EXTREME PUNISHMENT YOU'VE RECEIVED FOR SOMETHING SMALL?
I was once arrested for resisting arrest.  Do the math and you'll see my position.  The REAL reason I was arrested was 'WWB', better known as 'walking while black'.  Still a  'crime' in certain neighborhoods.  Nevertheless, the charge was dropped because, as a judge explained (and as I had fruitlessly explained at the time) you have to be arrested for something IN THE FIRST PLACE.  Gotta love America.
That's my story, here are some of yours:
Gave another girl a massage, told his girlfriend about it and she got pissed... yea, listen man, you're girlfriend got pissed because she's not stupid.  Unless you're a professional masseuse, why would you basically molest another woman unless, deep down, you're just copping a feel?
Was thrown in jail for .4 grams of weed... that was POINT 4 grams of weed... got 90 days in jail and a $1000 fine.  He was originally stopped for WALKING with is bike without a helmet.  That was in Bellevue
Got 'contributing to a minor' when he was 19... spent time in jail before they dropped the charges.  He was 19
Stole what he THOUGHT was a $2 bottle of some kind of drink from a grocery store... found out it was a $250 bottle of some kind of drink and was banned from the chain for a year... that's not that bad
Had his ass whipped with a belt by his father for something he didn't do
Attempted suicide when she was 17, the cops showed up, found a roach and arrested her for possession.  You know, I don't condone suicide, but how do you fail?  Anything you can do by accident isn't that hard to do on purpose.  I'm glad you're alive, my dear, but really?
Took some 'sample' cookies from Albertson's and was tackled by security... which begs the question; what does Albertson's regard as a 'sample'?
Was grounded at age 12 for her entire summer vacation for reading 'Lord of the Rings'... apparently the guy was an 'old fashioned' meth head.  PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:  old- fashioned meth heads don't like books
Paid $1800 for a broken tail light that cost $10
Expelled from school for telling a girl that she hated her... there was a kid expelled from school for DRAWING a gun
$127 dollar fine for not buying a $2.50 light rail ticket
So Van Halen is coming to town (like Santa Claus) and people are unnecessarily freaking out because Kool and the Gang will be opening.  On the surface it sounds ridiculous, but anyone familiar with the David Lee Roth version of Van Halen would be hard pressed to argue the negatives of K and the G opening for VH.  That didn't stop the haters, of course.  Anyway, we played some K and the G and the response was split 50/ 50... some people hated it, some loved it.  See what you think here:
I'm out!
Until tomorrow, get down on it and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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Topics : Law_Crime
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Locations : Los AngelesSan Francisco

01/31/2012 5:49PM
SHOW # 1429 January 31 2012
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