On Saturday night, the feigned shock and sadness when it was reported that Whitney Houston died. At first, details were sketchy, but everyone who'd ever heard of Houston already knew she'd OD'd. The coroner, of ocurse, is saying not to jump to conclusions, but I'll go on record and say she OD'd. Word is, she died in a bathtub at the Beverly Hilton after popping pills and enjoying Heineken. Some people find this shocking, some people were, in fact, NOT born yesterday. Remember Amy Winehouse? When she died, the assumption was that she died of an overdose. The coroner of that death, a master of verbal manipulation, reported that NO illegal drugs were found in her system. A few months later it was revealed that Amy really DIDN'T have illegal drugs in her system, but as for LEGAL ones, well, that was a different story altogether. See how that works? She still OD'd, just like we all assumed, but she paid the legal drug dealers for THEIR brand of death... so that makes it all OK. On that note, the surprisingly still alive Courtney Love has, like Winehouse, given up the illegal narcotics for the perfectly legal variety of poison including, Xanax, Oxys, Aderol and a few others. Nevertheless, we're still waiting for the headline that tells us of Courtney's demise... or is she like Keith Richards and Ozzy Osbourne? Who knows? Truth is, whether it's a celebrity, a family member or a friend, we wanna know: IT WOULDN'T SHOCK ME TO KNOW THAT SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO_____________.
Andy Dick or Bobby Brown... if I were a betting man, I'd say Andy Dick dies before Bobby, but who knows?
Wouldn't be surprised if a "certain friend" of his "killed" someone in the "near future". I used to have a friend like that, right up until he was killed
Iranian President Mahmud Ahmadinejad... complete hack, phony and mouthpiece
Gary Busey... everyone seems to agree on that, but none of know HOW the guy will die. Some think it'll be an overdose, some think it'll be alcohol related and some think it'll be some David Carridine style, sex- fetish gone wrong thing. None of the above would surprise me.
Travis Pastrana... believes that the man has a 'death wish'
His father who is a "mean, drunken, son of a hobo"... sounds nice
Expects ME to die from rectal cancer or another digestive condition based on the fact that I eat no vegetables... give it time
His step- brother... nothing wrong with step- bro, but his mother recently tried to kill her current husband by setting their mobile home on fire. She got three MONTHS in a nut house but step- bro has allowed her to move in with him and his kids. Baaaaaad idea
His mother was a voracious drunk and started mixing her pills with the booze so he wasn't surprised to find out that she died 5 years ago today
His daughter... she has multiple DUI's and lost custody of her son for a while. Thing is, she doesn't seem to be getting any better
OK bitches, the New Originals begin practicing tonight for a gig coming up on Friday the 24th at Studio 7 in SoDo. We'll be headlining Rock Out ALS with a collection of other local bands. Anyway, today is practice #1 for said show. I'm sure STP will document some of it because he's awesome like that, while I'm just a lazy sh*t. Either way, mark the day on your calendar and join us for booze, music, booze, booze and know that you're doing it for a good cause. Or di you LIKE ALS?
OK, until tomorrow, (Valentine's Day, fellas, buy her ass SOMETHING) SMOKE IT, PASS IT AND stay beautiful!"