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Today, of course, is valentine's Day, the day that actually sucks any semblance of romance OUT of your relationship because it feels obligatory, phony and, as best we can tell, is designed specifically to line the pockets of those who profit off of your guilt. That's the truth of it, but that doesn't stop millions of suckers from parting with their hard- earned cash specifically because they think they HAVE to. Thing is, if you're in a relationship, chances are you make your love known to your significant other every day. We're not talking about roses, chocolates and over- priced dinners, we're talking about pet names... that nickname you have for that person in your life that, quite frankly, is embarrassing outside of the confines of your own home. We have a list of the top 10 most popular pet names (which I'll share in a second... or more... depends entirely on how fast you read) but today we wanted to know what you call your sweetie- pie or what your honey- snookems calls you: WHAT IS YOUR PET NAME FOR YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND HOW DID THEY EARN IT?
Here are the top 10 pet names:
1. Darling... sounds awfully fancy
2. Babe/ Baby... that's my go to
3. Love... very English, but I like it
4. Sweetheart... I reserve this for women I DON'T like, right before I say something nasty
5. Gorgeous... really depends on the girl. No need to lie
6. Honey/ Hon/ Honeybunch... Honey BUNCH? Really?
7. Sweetie/ Sweets... sweets makes me laugh
8. Angel... I'd be lying
9. Sugar/ sugarplum... reminds me of something Paula Dean would say
10. Boo... just f**king funny
Here are some of the pet names you shared with us today:
Jiggles... I'm guessing that she's not an A- cup
Butterfly... I have ideas of where this came from
Kickstand... it's not what you think... it's for a woman who now has one leg
Bug... said he called her that because she's "cute as a bug", which begs the question, what kind of bug is cute? He pointed out that after 25 years of marriage, he now calls her Bug because she bugs him.
Sex kitten... I think we can piece this one together
Champ... she earned the nickname because she is anything but a champ
Sweaty- pie... not sweetie- pie, but sweaty pie because she sweats in her sleep, which is SO sexy!
Momma... because she is the mother of his children
Cheese... she likes cheese. She likes cheese so much that she has a cheese tattoo
Little Wing... after the Jimi Hendrix song
Princess... sounds like a bitch. Just sayin'
Chunky... she's not fat at all and is, in fact, very fit. Her swimming coach once told her that she has a "chunky" back kick and the name stuck
Poon- Bear... because he's always on the hunt for poon. Well, in that case, EVERY guy could be called Poon- Bear
Sugar Britches... he liked her pants when they first met
Shetani... it's Kenyan for "white Devil". Very touching
Muffin- Top Lover- Pants... just thought it sounded funny
PITA... Pain In The Ass
Furry Shirley... Shirly had a layer of peach fuzz on her back
SIT AND SPIN
Ryan Castle joined us today for a special Valentine's Day edition of Sit and Spin. He brought us the Ten Worst Songs to Make Whoopie To. I think he hit it on the head. Here's the list:
"Old Man" by Neil Young
"We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart
"Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash... the lyrics alone ruin the mood
"Macho Man" by the Village People... I suppose it depends which way you swing
"Maneater" by Hall and Oates
The theme to "JAWS"
"She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain" by Rob Newhouse... taken out of context it's perfect
The theme to "Barney"
"Peanutbutter Jelly Time" by Bobby Morganstein
The theme to "Sponge Bob Square Pants"... although someone pointed out that on the contrary, when you hear that song and you have kids, you know you have 30 minutes to have sex.