SHOW # 1461 March 19 2012

A recent study came to the conclusion that most men already know to be true; we do better handling jokes about our mothers than we do handling jokes about our manhood.  That's right; if you wanna provoke a guy, 'yo mama' jokes only go so far, but if you insult our junk, well, that's a fight waiting to happen.  In fact, penis talk is at the route of a rift between Mick Jagger and Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones.  Keep in mind, these two have been working together for 50 years and like ANY relationship that lasts 5 decades there's bound to be highs and lows, but it wasn't until 2 years ago, when he released his autobiography and wrote, "Mick has a tiny todger (British slang for 'd*ck).  I know he's got an enormous set of balls, but it doesn't quite fill the gap."  As you'd imagine, Mick was not happy with the revelation.  That's how it goes.  Inevitably, there are things you can't joke about with certain people.  Ever crack a joke about the Special Olympics to someone with retarded kids?  Me neither, but I don't think it's a good idea.  That's the nature of today's question:  IN YOUR CLOSE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY, WHAT TOPIC IS OFF- LIMITS?
Let's start with one of the more complex answers we got today; the taboo subject is the family.  You can't talk about the family around the family.  WTF, you may ask?  Here's the breakdown; the guy's mother and father got married.  At their wedding, his father's father and his mother's moth met, fell in love and decided to get married themselves.  Then, his mother and father got divorced, but mom re-married... she married his uncle... his father's brother... her former brother- in- law.  So now his uncle is his step- father, his cousin became his brother, but his grandparents stayed his grandparents and his biological parents technically became step- siblings.  You do the math.
Don't joke about his sister... she died 5 years ago on his 16th birthday... she died of an epileptic seizure and choked on her tongue that she'd bitten in half.  Who in the hell would joke about that?
His great grandfather had an affair with a secretary back in the day... she later committed suicide
Can't joke about the Dallas Cowboys around his family... he said "it's self explanatory".  I'm not so sure about that, so I'll wager a guess; they're fans of the team and they're suffering through the Romo years, also known as 'December self- destruction'
Can't bring up his first step- father... he and his sister hated him, but his other siblings "worshipped the ground he walked on"... thing is, he killed himself, so now it's completely off- limits
He's 32- years- old and he and the rest of his family STILL don't know what dad does for a living
His cousin is gay, the family is Catholic... it can't be discussed.  Really?  Has the family heard about the clergy lately?  Are they aware of what's going on?  Hypocrites
You can't bring up incest with his friend... you see, his friend slept with his half- sister... he didn't know it until he was at his dad's birthday party, saw her there and she asked him, "how do you know my dad?"  Awkward, yea?
So, on this show, we pretty much make fun of any and everything we can think of.  It's all in good humor and while everyone is insulted equally, these are the people who complain the most... the people who believe they are "off limits":
- Gypsies... there's not a lot of the Roma but it seems that each and everyone has called to complain when poked fun of.  Just joking.  Relax.
- The Jewish community... more than any other ethnic group, the Jewish community has cried foul more than any other.  Miles' wife AND kids are Jewish, as is my father- in- law.  Just joking.  Relax.
- The religious right... do what Jesus would do and reserve judgment.  Just joking.  Relax.
- The gay community seems to have the best sense of humor, but there was this one guy who e-mailed me personally and went on a long tirade about 'equal rights'.  I asked him how it was so 'equal' when you only come to the defense of that which effects YOU?  That would be 'special' rights.  And again, just joking.  Relax.
That about covers it.
OK bitches, I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, lick it, stick it and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

Tags :  
Topics : Human Interest
People : Keith RichardsMick JaggerThen

03/19/2012 5:53PM
SHOW # 1461 March 19 2012
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03/20/2012 4:35PM
Mens room Black White Mexican or Jew
OK mabe you guys have heard this all ready but there is a bumper sticker floating around that says dont RE NIG in 2012 ,. a poke at the man we love to hate . Any WAY love the show best part of any day no matter how bad THANKS KEEP IT REAL FUNNY. Eric B P S sorry if this is in the incorrect blog
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