The Houston Press recently ran a pretty interesting article titled "15 American Foods That Are as Weird to Foreigner as Poisonous Blowfish is to Us". As the title suggests, they cover 15 fairly routine foods here in the States that make foreigners a little uncomfortable. Biscuits and gravy, peanut butter, pepper shakers on the table, mayonnaise and a host of other things we find perfectly reasonable are, seemingly, not perfectly reasonable outside of these borders. Then again, if you've been paying attention to international non- news, you've heard about the concern in New Zealand that the country could run out of marmite this year. What is marmite? Marmite is a spread made of yeast extract... and having tried it before, I can tell you that it's about as good as it sounds... which, from my perspective, is not at all. I'm sure it's delicious, but my American palate isn't suited for it. Food isn't the only thing that can be a shock to the system. When we first moved here 7 years ago, we saw something we'd NEVER seen on the East Coast; I'm talking, of course, about white people on a bus. Put it this way; 9 years ago I saw a UFO in the Bahamas (true) and that was LESS shocking than seeing white people on a bus. Laugh if you want, but I'm being serious. Anyway, this all leads to today's question: I HAVE TO ADMIT, i WAS TAKEN ABACK THE FIRST TIME I SAW _____________.
Away we go:
First time he saw two horses mating... first of all, that indicates that he's seen it more than once... second of all, do you ever get used to that sort of thing... and finally, would you WANT to get used to that?
Drove his brother to L.A. and was blown away when he saw LIQUOR IN A GROCERY STORE... it really is a beautiful sight and we, here in Washington, will see this same beautiful sight as of June 1st. BOOYAH!!!
Sawa black guy on a hockey team... in Alaska! How about just a black guy in Alaska?!? I went to Anchorage a few years ago and the only other black guy I saw my reflection... and even my reflection seemed surprised to see me
Plymouth Rock... glorified throughout our school years, turns out that the landing point of the Pilgrims (drunks) is teeny- tiny, uninspiring piss- ant rock. Did not realize this. Heard the same thing about the Mona Lisa. Apparently it's a small little picture of an epically ugly broad
Had a 30- hour layover at the Tokyo airport and saw a beer vending machine, a necktie vending machine and a sex- toy vending machine
Was shocked to discover that all the members of AlterBridge (minus Miles Kennedy) were in Creed... yea, they don't want you to know that
Bumpits... bumpits are (and I just found this out myself) little, plastic arches that women put in their hair to add 'volume'... you know, so that guys take them seriously and don't look at them as sex objects
Was moving to Arkansas (which takes me aback) and on the highway in Alabama he saw his 'adopt-a-highway' sign... it read "this highway adopted by the KKK". Normally I don't condone littering, but I'd defecate all over that highway... not being mean (of course not) just want to give those fine gentlemen something to do
I'll leave you with the image of me squatting over a highway adopted by the Klan. You're welcome!
Until tomorrow, find a crook and kiss them and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"