SHOW # 1468 March 28 2012

Sports, like religion and politics, is a topic that will inevitably descend into an argument if you don't agree with the person you're talking to.  I could tell you a fairly recent story that illustrates this point beautifully, but I'll protect their names of the guilty.  However, there is a shining example of this sad truth that comes to us from the fine state of Kentucky.  The University of Kentucky and the University of Louisville are playing each other in the Final Four this weekend.  This past Monday, police had to break up a fight between two men, one a fan of Kentucky, one a fan of Louisville... at a DIALYSIS CENTER!  They got into a DURING dialysis.  Then again, we've had stories (thanks to the Shot of the day) of sons beating up their mothers because their mother didn't buy them beer, brothers, both of them grown, getting into a shootout over who gets the last piece of fried chicken and stories of sisters stabbing their brothers over what channel to flip the TV to.  Generally speaking, all fights start over something stupid, petty or inconsequential... but that doesn't stop us from fighting.  It's how we roll.  Today we wanted to know:  WHAT IS THE DUMBEST REASON YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN A FIGHT OR CONFLICT?
There were all manner of stories today and ALL of them answered the question perfectly; the reasons for the fights were f**king stupid, but here are a few highlights:
Someone thought he stole the last hamburger... the story ended with someone who was NOT involved in the conflict having their face smashed into a concrete driveway TWICE and eventually getting knocked unconscious by an errant shower curtain pole.  You can't make this stuff up.  On a side note, the thing that really caught my attention was that this guy put mayonnaise on his burger.  I think that's very gross, but it turns out that I'm the only one who thinks so.
Got into a fight when his brother called him Sponge- Bob Square Pants... thems fightin' words!  Seriously, there are worse things to be called... at least Sponge Bob is a popular character.  You could have been called Barney
Had to take a leak while having sex and the woman got mad and wouldn't continue the sexual tryst.  Would she have been happier if he'd peed on her?  Freaky
His brother drove by him while he was walking home and didn't offer him a ride... like any sensible individual, he broke his brother's jaw!  Well, that'll get you a ride next time!
When he was in jail, he got into a fight over Crocodile Dundee II... I can't help but think to myself that the kind of guy who would fight over Crocodile Dundee II is the kind of guy who ends up in jail
Eugene will be in Seattle for the next three days with a variety of comedy and comedy- related shows.  If you watch "Bob's Burgers" on FOX, you're familiar with Eugene's work.  Anyway, he came by the studio today and traded a few laughs.  I would recommend you check him out while he's here.  Funny stuff.  Trust me.
OK, I'm outta here, bitches.
Until tomorrow, rock on, rock out and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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Locations : KentuckyLouisvilleSeattle

03/28/2012 5:44PM
SHOW # 1468 March 28 2012
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