SHOW # 1499 MAY 18 2012

The big news today is the Facebook IPO (initial public offering).  A whole bunch of early investors made whole bunch of $$$... we're talking BILLIONS of dollars.  Needless to say, these people are very happy... very, very happy.  We'd argue that the day you become a billionaire is the happiest day of your life.  Founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg will probably tell you that today is the happiest day of his life, but I'm saying that it's not true.  Sure, he's made a ridiculous amount of money, but he didn't wanna take Facebook public in the first place.  He was LEGALLY required to do so, and he's not particularly pleased with that.  Obviously, no one is cry him a river, but unlike his investors, today is not the happiest day of his life... but he'll say it is.  Sometimes you're obligated to say certain days were the 'happiest day' of your life because everyone expects you to.  When you get married, you're supposed to say that that was the happiest day of your life, then when you have a kid, you have to say that THAT was the happiest day of your life.  In my case, both of those days were happy, but I can say with certainty that THE happiest day of my life was the day I got my divorce official from my first wife.  I can't put into words how f**king awesome it was and still is.  Ahhhh... sorry, just soaking it in.  Anyway, here's today's question:  WHAT WAS ACTUALLY THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE AND WHAT DAY ARE YOU OBLIGATED TO SAY WAS THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE?
Here are some of today's answers:
Says it's family time/ truth: when he has the house to himself
Says it's the day his daughter was born/ truth:  the day he found a quarter POUND of weed on the sidewalk
Says it was the day her son was born/ truth:  the day she sent her ex back to his parents... ON A GREYHOUND
Says it's the day he met his current girlfriend, is preparing to say that it'll be the day her father gives him permission, ultimately prepared to lie and say it'll be the day they get married/  truth:  day he divorced his ex
Says it's the day his daughter was born/ truth:  day he divorced his ex
Says it was the day his grandson was born/ truth:  day he discovered masturbation.  Strong.  It's one of the few skills I learned and continue to use to this
Says it was her wedding day/ truth:  the day her "a**hole, abusive boss" was fired after 9 years
Says it was the day(s) his children were born/ truth:  the night he had a 3- way with 2 strippers
See a pattern?  Here's the thing; those people with children shouldn't feel guilty about it because if we learned nothing else, we learned that OUR parents had better days than birthing us too!
OK bitches, the weekend is here!
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

Tags :  
Topics : Human Interest
Social :
People : Mark Zuckerberg

05/18/2012 5:19PM
SHOW # 1499 MAY 18 2012
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