SHOW # 1526 JUNE 28 2012

In spite of what both CNN AND FOX reported earlier today, the Supreme Court UPHELD the individual insurance requirement at the heart of President Obama's healthcare overhaul.  In other words, the American version of Universal healthcare is a go... just like Mitt Romney signed into law in Massachusetts.  Oh... wait.  Next thing you know, they'll make us get CAR insurance, or register our cars, or, or register our GUNS... or get a Social Security card, or get homeowner's insurance!  On the topic of requirements, remember Conan O'Brien's hiatus between the end his stint on the 'Tonight Show' and the launch of his show on TBS?  Every time he was seen publicly, people wondered why, exactly, he was rocking a full- on mustache and beard.  He looked like a guy who was drinking homemade hooch in the forests of Oregon, but no, it's that he had to shave EVERYDAY that he was on the air at NBC.  It was a requirement.  And our very own Thee Ted Smith had to wear a uniform to school from kindergarten all the way through his senior year... and keep in mind, that include TWO trips through 8th grade.  This is what we wanted to know today:  WHEN WERE YOU MADE TO DO SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T WANT TO?
Church... parents made him go, like so many other kids.  Could be worse; I don't know how, but that's what people say
Had to go to his wife's friend's wedding... in Buffalo... but the reason he didn't wanna go is because he'd had sex with the bride about a month earlier.  Said she sucked in bed
Had to wear a uniform to Catholic school... seems like more and more PUBLIC schools are requiring uniforms.  I hate that sh*t, but there are arguments in favor of it
His ex got free tickets to a concert and he agreed to go... found out when he got there that it was a Fiona "I refuse to shave my pubes" Apple
His wife coerced him into going to a kid's birthday party (also known as 'Hell on Earth')... he ended up being the only guy there, so he was surrounded by gossip and sugar highs (also known, simply as 'Hell')
Was almost made to join the Steelworker's union... back when he was a steel worker
When he was in Iraq, he had to deliver kerosene to local villages... can't believe that's the worst thing he had to do in Iraq
Had to go through gas chamber training in the Marine Corps... have seen videos of it and looks like it sucks BAD
Had to eat 'shrooms because the guy he was with was a UFC fighter and threatened to beat his ass if he didn't eat them.  GOOD TIMES
Had to do 14 months in prison... probably shouldn't have stabbed the dude... IN THE NECK
Boarding school for 2 years
Rehab... he didn't mind going to rehab, it's that he went to a free one in Indiana... turns out it was cult run by a priest who'd been booted from the church
Mom made him take tap- dancing lessons as a kid... and had to wear a t- shirt that said "keep dancing".  Might as well have said "make fun of me"
OK bitches, I'm outta this place... and by 'this place', I mean my MIND!
Until tomorrow, hey, hey mama, like the way you move, so STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

Tags :  
Locations : BuffaloIndianaMassachusettsOregon
People : ObamaTed Smith

06/28/2012 5:33PM
SHOW # 1526 JUNE 28 2012
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