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72- year- old Fred Williard, probably best known as a dog- show announcer in the movie "Best in Show", was arrested for, what authorities are calling 'a lewd act' in an adult movie theatre. In other words, he was busted for masturbating in a porn theatre. Apparently, uniformed officers were conducting a routine investigation of the theatre and caught Willard doing exactly what people do in a porn theatre. Even though there should be an assumption that people watching porn are ALSO pleasuring themselves, it's still a crime... and was Willard was arrested. Same thing happened to Paul Reubens, a.k.a., Pee- Wee Herman, all those years ago... although he STILL denies it. I would find it much stranger if you went to a porn theatre and DIDN'T jerk it, but that's just me. Anyway, the truth is, people masturbate, people have sex (explains this whole human population thing), people pick their nose and people scratch their ass, but in spite of these universal behaviors, most of us agree we'd like to do these things in private. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that way. Today we wanted to know: WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING YOU'VE BEEN CAUGHT DOING?
Caught having sex in the back seat of a car at age 16... cops rolled up and knocked on the steamy windows. She was having sex with the son of the local Lutheran minister
Was caught watching 'American Idol'... truly embarrassing for a grown man
Busted by his mother AND his 2 sisters jerking it in a hotel bathroom
Busted by the cops peeing in a water bottle on the side of the road
Lost a bet in high school and had to streak naked down the hall... put a bag on his head and took off running, right up until he crashed into and knocked over his sister
Grandfather walked in on him 'punching the clown' while watching internet porn... the worst part is, his grandfather was bringing him a birthday gift
Just this morning he thought he was on an empty street, so he broke into a rousing rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody"... heard laughing and realized that "two cute Asian girls" were walking behind him
Just to be funny, he put on his wife of 23 years' panties and called her into the laundry room... as expected, his wife laughed, but only because the panties he was wearing belonged to his 16- year- old daughter
His grandfather found his homemade sex tape and made him put it on
Was getting some 'mouth service' from his girlfriend while driving... cops flashed their lights and he swerved into the ditch
Came home after date night with her husband of 20+ years. Feeling a little "sassy", she said something to the effect of "you're not acting like a man who wants his d**k in my mouth later"... her 17- year- old daughter immediately informed her that she could hear her. Awkward
Was at a store with her brother... being kids, she decided to sneak up behind him and stick her finger in his butt... wasn't her brother
I think that last one was my favorite. We expected plenty of sex and masturbation stories, but there's something very funny to me about inserting a finger into the rectum of someone you don't know by accident.
Alright bitches, I'm out!
Until next time, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"