SHOW # 1562 SEPTEMBER 5 2012

By now, everyone knows that Kristin Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with the director of "Snow White and the Huntsman", and for the people who care... meaning teenage girls... the question was whether or not they'd reconcile.  Well, no.  Seems that Robert's two overbearing older sisters threatened to "kill" him if he took Kristin back.  No second chance for Kristin.  Former Bengals/ Patriots/ Dolphins wide receiver Chad Johnson is hoping for a second chance with his estranged wife... a gold- digger by the name of Evelyn Lozado... in spite of having (allegedly) head- butting her a few weeks ago.  In addition to some syrupy romantic overtures posted to Twitter, Chad also got Evelyn’s face tattooed on his leg.  Terrible idea for anyone who isn't dead or a child of yours, but your ESTRANGED wife?  Come on, Chad.  Hell, with the Democratic National Convention officially underway, President Obama, like Chad Johnson and Kristen Stewart, is ALSO looking for a second chance.  Second chances; sometimes they work to your benefit, sometimes they don't.  WHO OR WHAT DID YOU GIVE A SECOND CHANCE... AND HOW DID IT WORK OUT FOR YOU?
Gave our show a second chance.  Confesses to 'hating' us when he first heard us (like soooo many before him) but gave us another chance and now he 'loves' us (unlike soooo many before him)
She gave tequila a second chance... lost her wallet, a shoes, half of her skirt (???), and her lesbian virginity... but she galso got a new job, so she's undecided about tequila
"Failed" in the sack with some broad he was crazy about... they bump into each other a few years later, he gets another chance and "knocked it out of the park", as he put it.  Clearly, the girl he liked just puts out
Her boyfriend cheated on her... now he's her husband of 19 years
Gave his wife a second chance... this IN SPITE of the fact a dude sent him a picture of her performing 'oral services' on another guy THREE DAYS before their wedding.  Dude.  Come on.
OK bitches, I'm outta here to go watch football!
Until tomorrow, get the lead out and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

Tags :  
People : Chad JohnsonEvelyn LozadoKristen StewartKristin StewartObama

09/05/2012 5:31PM
SHOW # 1562 SEPTEMBER 5 2012
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