If you're in or have been in a relationship, you know that arguments happen, things are said and, in some cases, the fight escalates to the point that things go terribly, terribly wrong. Case- in- point, on Valentine's Day 2011, a guy in England got into an argument with his girlfriend. We don't know what the argument was about, but it ended with her BITING OFF HIS TESTICLES!!! Thanks to emergency surgery, doctors were able to reattach his man- satchel, but, as you'd imagine, he broke up with the woman. Here's where we say 'what the f**k is WRONG with you?!?' They bump into each other about a year later and he TOOK HER BACK! He started dating the woman who bit OFF his flesh- grapes. Not- so- surprisingly, things didn't work out the second time either... but he should have known that!!! There's a saying; 'if at first you don't succeed, try, try again'. Yea, well, sometimes, DON'T. Take Patrick Lynn of Florida; two years ago he broke into a horse farm and had delicious sex with a horse. He was caught on camera (just what everyone wanted to see) and served 2 years in prison. He got out recently... and broke into the SAME farm and had sex with a horse AGAIN! He was caught again. Dude, just stop already. These folks inspired today's question: I SHOULD HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON WHEN ___________ HAPPENED!
Took his woman back AFTER she cheated on him... but BEFORE she cheated on him... again
Keeps trying to date chicks who are in relationships... you're doing it wrong, genius
The first time he went commercial fishing he almost died... the second time he went commercial fishing he almost died... he's going on his third trip soon. Stay tuned for the outcome
His girlfriend claimed that all of her exes were crazy... that's when he discovered that SHE was crazy
Keeps meeting guys at bars... is discovering that they're all alcoholics... having met my wife at a bar, I think she would agree
Busted his lip on a trampoline... hopped right back on and broke his arm
Should have learned that his girlfriend was a whore the SECOND time she had a kid that WASN'T his... should have ACTUALLY learned that lesson the FIRST time she had a kid that wasn't his
So Kim (of Soundgarden fame... if you didn't know) called in today to talk about their upcoming album, King Animal. He's one of those guys who is just naturally cooler than you are. I like him, but that kind of thing will make you mad. But then he mentioned that he listens to our show and, frankly, that made my f**king day.
I'm gonna leave on a high note.
Until tomorrow, hands all over and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"