President Obama was inaugurated for a second term on Monday. Much like this year's Super Bowl Halftime show, Beyonce and her giant forehead were tapped to do some singing. In this case she was supposed to sing the National Anthem. It LOOKED like she was singing, but as pop stars are want to do, she was lip synching. Her secret was exposed by a member of the Marine Corps Band that had to pretend they were playing their instruments. Beyonce isn't the only person to keep secrets, of course. According to a new survey, two in five men and one in three women confess to hiding a 'major' secret from their partner. Even "happy" couples are "happy" because they each believe something(s) that are not true. On the topic of believing things that aren't true, there's been a significant uptick in the number of eagles and hawks and being shot at. Why? One expert believes it's from last month's video of an eagle snatching a baby. The video was a hoax, but, seemingly, not everyone is aware of that, so in retaliation for the vile ways of these winged, baby- snatching terrorists from the sky, people are killing them before, you know, they snatch another baby. Yes, people are actually that stupid. Nevertheless, we've all dipped our toes in the ocean of ignorance and today we wanted to know when and why: WHEN WERE YOU SADLY MISTAKEN?
The girl he started dating was already dating his best friend... somehow he didn't know
When he lived on Long Island, his girlfriend was flying into town for a visit and he went to the wrong airport to pick her up
Tried to drive his new truck through a big puddle... the puddle was bigger than he thought... and his truck wasn't as powerful as he thought
Thought he won a bunch of money on a golf scratch off because he had the highest score. He even quit his job. Never occurred to him that in the sport of golf, you want the LOWEST score. Now he knows
Got stoned in high school, took a nap, woke up at 8 and ran to school... didn't realize that it was 8pm
Made out with some chick at a biker bar... she had a boyfriend... who was a biker... at the bar
Talking to a nice woman at the airport... asked her when she was due... she wasn't pregnant. I think we've all done that and I think we all learned to never ask
Oz Fest '99... some dude grabbed his ass because he had his hair down... and a great ass, apparently
THE INNAPPROPRIATE QUESTION
We haven't done it in awhile, but today seemed as good a day as any to ask the Inappropriate Question. We were inspired by the ridiculous story of Manti Te'o, the Notre Dame linebacker at the center of the virtual girlfriend hoax. She never existed, but he thought she did, and without ever meeting her, maintained a relationship with her and considered her a girlfriend... because he's a f**king idiot. Anyway, today's question (of the inappropriate nature) was simply this; you're a virgin; would you rather have an online relationship for the rest of the life and never have sex, or be able to have sex but only with a family member? Discuss.
Ok bitches, I'm outta here. Company holiday party tonight. We just assume that the holiday we're celebrating is MLK Day.