Maybe you've heard about the disabled cruise ship adrift in the Gulf of Mexico? The Carnival Triumph left Galveston, Texas for a four day cruise last Thursday with 3,143 passengers and 1,086 crew members. On Sunday, a fire in the engine room knocked out its primary power source, crippling the water supply and plumbing system. Instead of pooping or peeing INTO THE OCEAN... passengers are using bags... or the floor... and to hear it from them, they're suffering in deplorable conditions. One passenger said, "It's the worst thing ever". Oddly enough, that's about the way I described my morning... because my bus was 15 minutes late. Ah, and Miles, poor Miles... his i-Pad keeps crashing. And who doesn't shed a tear for the NRA? Can you believe that there's even a suggestion that maybe you should pass a background check before buying a firearm? Next thing you know, we'll be required to pass a test before getting a license to drive! And then there's STP, producer of the BJ Shea Morning Experience... he had to face the atrocity of not being able to find a plastic spoon here at work and had to use a fork... A FORK... to eat his yogurt! Are we animals?!? America is a whiny country and yet we don't have any real problems. We're all guilty of pissing and moaning about our 'problems', and today we asked you to stare down your inner pu**y and tell us: WHAT IS YOUR FIRST- WORLD PROBLEM?
Be prepared to read some of the most heinous, heart- wrenching and sad stories you're likely to encounter. And now, cue the violins, grab a tissue and empathize with the problems some of us have to face:
The remote start on his SUV doesn't turn on his heated leather seats
When he goes to Best Buy, he's reminded that he already owns all of the electronics he wants
Has to use 6 different remotes at home
Has to stream our show on his Samsung S III because his work security folks have blocked our show
Tim's Chips used to make Steak and Onion flavored chips... now they don't
Immigrants who bring their problems to his country... he lives in Canada
His new computer monitor doesn't have built- in speakers
New car doesn't have cruise control
The 32" flat screen in his bedroom is too 'old' to stream Netflix, so he has to watch it in his living room
New dishwasher in his new home doesn't fit as many dishes as he'd like
His buddy's wife can't find bras that fit properly because after getting her boob- job, her breasts are too round, instead of tear- drop shaped
What should he do with his OTHER X- Box 360? Should he buy a new TV or give it away?
Has to maintain 6 different classic cars for entry into local car shows
Sometimes he wants to get drunk but he cant... because he's too full from all the food he's eaten
Owns 5 cars, but none of them are 'cool'
His roommate keeps buying single- ply toilet paper
Couldn't find his headset to play PS3, which made it hard to coordinate his actions with friends
The Safeway closest to his house doesn't have the arugula leaves he needs for his steak wraps
Instead of going to Hawaii, his boss will be taking him to Mexico
Can't drive his Porsche with the top down all the time because of the weather
The new 2012 Subaru doesn't have memory seats, so every time he drives after his wife, he has to adjust the seat himself
If you're like me, you read the list and shared in the pain that is 1st world problems.
I'm hoping that this blog met the expectations and the high standards of Big Ben.
OK, I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, rock out and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"