SHOW # 1739 JUNE 18 2013

A 27- year- old guy in Nebraska was serving two to four years in prison for shoplifting and criminal mischief.  Instead of paying his societal debt, he decided, instead, to plan his escape.  He managed to get out and was picked up by his girlfriend in her car... but as soon as they pulled away, they started arguing.  His girlfriend got so mad that only 5 miles into the drive, she pulled over and kicked him out of the car.  He was quickly re-arrested and taken back to prison... with new charges.  Meanwhile, a realtor in Manhattan was listing an apartment online and uploaded seven pictures of the place.  Unfortunately, he ALSO uploaded one picture of his penis... but he didn't realize it until he got a call from  He claimed he was hacked... but he wasn't.  On the bright side, he did manage to rent the apartment later that same day.  Hope he told the renters that the place doesn't come with d*ck.  Anyway, sometimes things just don't go as planned, and that is today's question:  WHAT WAS THE PLAN... AND HOW DID IT GO HORRIBLY WRONG?
Went to Alaska to take a job as a fisherman... instead, he got into 3 separate shipwrecks
Planned to get married, have kids and retire early... instead, he was arrested for voyeurism, had to register as a sex offender and is now divorced
Planned on being single until he was 30... instead, he was/ is married and has 4 kids.  Well done
Earlier today, he tried to change the oil in his truck... instead, he drained all of his TRANSMISSION fluid.  Waiting for a ride to the auto shop to get tranny fluid
Tried to impress a girl on his bike, but he just ended up flipping over the handle bars and breaking his wrist.  Impressive
Got off of his scooter (which he rides with his legs crossed 'Indian style') walked into the gym and flirted confidently with the hot girls at the front desk... didn't realize until later that he still had his helmet on
Stole weed from the dealer's house... ran outside and hopped in the wrong car
Strung a bunch of fireworks together to blow up a fire ant nest... the nest blew up, but the (now angry) ants came raining down on her and her cousins.  They were all bitten numerous times
He and two of his buddies all had simultaneous sex with one horny young woman (Devil's 4-way) and all of them used condoms... which is good, except that the promiscuous ho they were shagging was allergic to latex.  She went into convulsions and had to be taken to the hospital
There's a saying, "ignorance is bliss"... maybe.  Put it to the test here, as Jolene brought us the "11 Songs Ruined When Their True Meanings Were Revealed"... or something very similar.
OK bitches, it's go time!
Until tomorrow, into the flood, so STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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Locations : AlaskaNebraska

06/18/2013 5:36PM
SHOW # 1739 JUNE 18 2013
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