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Former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez is in quite a bit of trouble after ?he was charged with murder... but things have gotten even worse for the idiot because now authorities have linked him to a DOUBLE homicide in the Boston area from a year ago. Meanwhile, a guy in Philadelphia was arrested after he was caught by 25 bike cops having sex with the ugliest woman ever to walk the Earth on a park bench. It was 4 o'clock in the afternoon... next to a public baseball field. If you get the chance to see a picture of the woman involved in this story, DON'T). And then there's George Zimmerman, the Florida dude who shot Travon Martin because he was a black kid in a white neighborhood, started his trial this week, hoping to avoid a murder conviction, in spite of murdering a kid armed with Skittles. Look, America has more laws on the books than any other country on the planet ('Land of the fee!') so 'breaking the law' is relatively easy to do, but we wanted to know: NOT THAT YOU EVER WOULD, BUT WHAT CRIME DO YOU FEEL CONFIDENT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH?
Initially I was gonna say I'm black, so I can't get away with anything... but then
Could be the getaway driver in a robbery. He wouldn't want to be a part of the actual robbery because at 6 feet- seven inches tall and 300 pounds, he's REAL easy to identify
Drug dealing... their confidence suggested that it was something they are actively doing
Murder (???)... she watches a lot of 'CSI' and 'Snapped'. Two things; CSI is about as grounded in reality as Harry Potter and the reason 'Snapped' is on TV is because NO ONE got away with murder. Just sayin'
Embezzlement... granted, this guy isn't trying to go big; said he would only embezzle about $60 to $80 a week
Another vote for murder... says to (1) do it alone so that there are no "loose ends" and (2) bury the body "deep"
Could get away with stealing from work... see, they were robbed a while ago and the bosses didn't wanna call the cops
Could get away with shoplifting... has worked as a "loss prevention officer" for years and knows the ends and outs
Passport fraud... works with Homeland "Security" in the IT department and has access to all kinds of info. Pointed out that he could also red- flag anyone's passport at random, just to be a d*ck
OK bitches, I just got the hiccups, so I'm gonna go smoke some weed and get of these f**king things.
Until tomorrow, prepare for Red Fest and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"