SHOW # 1759 JULY 23 2013

Taco Bell just went through it, then Wendy's, now Subway finds itself doing a little damage control after an employee at an Ohio location posted an Instagram picture of his penis... ON A LOAF UNBAKED SUBWAY BREAD!  As you'd expect, the guy was fired and the Subway brass issued a statement reassuring everyone that that kind of thing isn't the norm for their "sandwich artists".  If it makes them feel any better, we know that's not the norm.  In fact, most restaurant employees don't normally place their naughty- bits on your food.  That being said, it happens plenty.  I cooked for 12 years and I have some awful stories that I won't share.  On that note, last month, a dog made the ill-advised decision to attempt to eat a porcupine.  The situation ended about the way you'd think; the dog had a disturbing number of quills in it's face and made a trip to the vet for needle extraction.  We've all done it; touched something we weren't supposed to and then paid a price later.  WHAT DID YOU TOUCH THAT YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO... AND WHAT DID YOU TOUCH IT WITH?
A sleeping sea lion... the thing woke up and tried to bite his face off of his head and then his head off of his neck
At age 8 he attempted to smell a lit car cigarette lighter.  It touched his nose and he had a ring of blisters for a few months
His d*ck was hanging out of his shorts (at a Boy Scout camp, no less) and it touched a very, very, very hot metal bench on a boat
Masturbated with 'Icey- Hot'
Taking a dump, he lit a match (because it was one of THOSE dumps) and instead of dropping the match between his legs, it landed on his junk
Licked the inside of a freezer and his tongue got stuck... at a Safeway
Was cutting habanero peppers for a steak, touched his junk and dealt with the agony that accompanies doing so
Touched and electric fence... knocked him out... wakes up a little out of it... tries to pull himself to his feet... by grabbing the same fence
Jolene brought us the 10 Bands That Ended Too Soon... according to Gibson Guitars.  Here's the link:
OK bitches, I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, avoid tofu and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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Locations : Ohio

07/23/2013 5:36PM
SHOW # 1759 JULY 23 2013
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