SHOW # 1762 JULY 26 2013

There's a website called 'the stir' or something, and as best I can tell, it's a site for mothers, or women who want to be mothers or whatever.  Anyway, they also provided a small article that's beneficial to EVERYONE!  It's called "Six Ways to Handle Seeing an Ugly Baby For the First Time".  Obviously, every parent is proud and excited about their newborns, but sometimes, frankly, your baby is uglier than a bucket of armpits.  And if they are that ugly, it would be my duty to inform anyone else who might be meeting your baby to prepare themselves.  If your girlfriend has a hair-lip or a lisp, warn me before I meet her.  If you own a chimpanzee as a pet and you invite me over for dinner, let me know.  If we're gonna have sex and you have herpes, gimme a heads- up.  Unfortunately, you don't always get the info you'd like to know in advance, and that's the motivation behind today's question:  WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU'D HAVE KNOW AHEAD OF TIME?
That his woman of 8 months would cheat on his best friend of 12 years in HIS truck at a camp fire
Wish she knew her co- worker was dating the boss's son BEFORE she complained about him to her
That his co-worker would live in his place for 8 months and not a few days. 
Really wishes she knew that her co- worker was dying of leukemia before she asked him "how do you feel?"
That her father- in- law was in jail for 8 years following a murder conviction.  Dude killed a cop. 
That adding hand soap to your pee won't help you clear a drug test
Wishes he knew that his boss had set up cameras in the barn before he brought his girlfriend in for sex
OK bitches, it's Friday, it's f**king gorgeous outside and, most importantly, I have to take a sh*t, so I'm gonna say adios.  Adios.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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07/26/2013 5:32PM
SHOW # 1762 JULY 26 2013
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