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A few weeks ago in Ohio, a woman went to Foot Locker. As happens from time to time, she forgot her purse at the store. The problem was, she'd left her COCAINE in the purse that she left at the store. An employee discovered the coke and (unlike me, who would have thrown an impromptu party) called the police, the po- po, the fuzz, the heat, the 5-0. Anyway, when she returned to the store to get her purse, she was arrested. Shouldn't have left her purse at the store. However, when it comes to putting things in the wrong place, a guy in London didn't commit a crime, but we're guessing he would have preferred getting busted for coke. See, in his case, he got his penis stuck in a toaster and had to call the local fire department for help removing his junk. Shouldn't have put his penis in a toaster. And now that weed is legal in Washington State, edibles have become all the rage. If you're like me and have a child in the house, you don't bring edibles home; no gold fish, no rice crispy treats, cake pops, brownies, candies, cookies, etc. Kids love that stuff... and that's not good. All of these stories brought us today's fill- in- the- blank question: ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT MY _______ THERE.
Left a picture of his penis on his phone... forgot his phone at a party... went to get it the next day and discovered that the host of the party had texted the picture to many, many others
Shouldn't have put his hand in the garbage disposal... or, at the very least, he should have let the person who flipped it on know that his hand was IN the garbage disposal
When he was 4- years- old, he got his head stuck in the Dumbo ride... they had to shut the ride down for two hours to get his head out
Took a trip see his buddy graduate from the Marines. Left his bong stem under the passenger seat, but there are drug dogs at the gate to the base. He got arrested
His dog ate his Oxy's. Dog got STONED... and then went to the vet
Got his tongue stuck to the side of a freezer when he tried to lick the frozen Coke out of it
Shouldn't have left his driver's license home... got pulled over twice in one day
OK, I'm outta here.
Until next time, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"