SHOW # 1860 JANUARY 16 2014
There's a (very stupid) guy in Nigeria who is suing the makers od Close- Up toothpaste. See, their commercials led him to believe that he'd get chicks if he just brushed with Close- Up. After seven years of brushing exclusively with Close- Up, he's failed to land a single date. He says that he can't even get a woman to have coffee with him, in spite of them being able to smell his breath. (???) Now he's pissed and he's suing. There was a similar lawsuit filed in India against the makers of Axe Body Spray. The guy wore the stuff but failed to get laid. On some level, virtually everything we do is connected to the idea of impressing other people. We had a list of the 8 Thing People Do Because It's 'Cool and it included stuff like wearing designer clothes, rocking the saggy pants look, tanning, waxing, etc. All of us are guilty of this stuff because, frankly, everyone hopes to look good... or NOT look ugly at the very least. It's what we do. WHAT DID YOU BUY OR DO WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE OF ATTRACTING THE OPPOSITE SEX... OR THE SAME SEX?
In 6th grade he saved his money ($60) to buy a pair of Adidas shell- toed shoes because the guys in 8th grade wore them and all had girlfriends. It didn't work for him
Got a hair 'system' back in 1992... unfortunately, he worked construction and his hard hat destroyed the look
Switched from saxophone to guitar to get chicks... it worked and continues to work
Bought a convertible Mustang... it was a chick magnet, but he wasn't
Put deodorant on his inner thighs so his d*ck and b*lls wouldn't smell so bad
Bought $100 pair of sunglasses... lost them in 2 weeks
Used to wear suits everyday in community college (???)... didn't work
Ran onto Safeco Field to impress a chick... it worked
A Wonder Bra and Spanx... now that she's married, both have disappeared
OK bitches, gotta run.
Until tomorrow, eat more chicken and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"