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On yesterday's show we did our 'Monday Random Question', where each caller is asked a different question. One of the questions that we asked was, "what's your most memorable fart story?". What we discovered is that EVERYONE has a memorable fart story. We started getting all manner of emails, texts and other callers wanting to share their most memorable tales of flatulatory greatness. 'Flatulatory' is not a real word, but I don't care. I like the way it sounds. Anyway, we walked into work today only to be greeted my MORE stories of the fart in our email inboxes, and then we stumbled upon a story out of Germany that involves a farm shed that EXPLODED as a direct result of 90 farting cows. Apparently, the methane flying out of their beefy bottoms interacted with static electricity, ignited and blew the shed apart. No people or cows died, but one cow was treated for severe burns... premature cooking? That, to us, is the ultimate fart story, but we knew that you had one too, so we asked: WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THE GRETAEST FART?
After eating plums all day (???), he and a friend farted into a 2- liter bottle. A few hours later they squeezed in his mother's face (???... again) and she puked. Awww, kids!
Someone passed out on a sofa at a party, so he farted in their face
In 7th grade, the "hot girl" in math class asked if she could borrow his calculator. She was hot, he had a calculator, so he graciously agreed. However, when he leaned over to grab it, he inadvertently ripped a monster fart in her face
In jail he farted enough to clear his cell; 10 minutes later he gamble... and LOST
His mother had gastric bypass surgery 10 years ago and she STILL farts uncontrollably... and they smell awful
Used to fart on his dog all the time... his dog figured it out after a few months and decided to jump on the sofa and fart on HIM. I like that game. Unfortunately, my dog just goes back to sleep
Was getting the glorious gift of oral sex when he sensed that he had the kind of fart coming on that cannot be held. He squeaked it out... and she promptly puked on his lap
Giving a book report in 8th grade when he sneezed... AND farted. Had to live with that shame until his family moved out of state
Had the wonderful experience of checking his wife's nether regions for a yeast infection (like all men dream of doing) when she farted in his face
This is a matter of timing; Was watching the third 'Twilight' movie with his wife. She blasted out a very large fart. At that point in the movie, the main character (Edward?) looks at the camera and says, "what was that?"
Ah, few things warm my heart like talking about farts for hours. Guess there is a Santa Claus!
OK, I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, lick it, stick it and STAY BEAUTIFUL."