In 1999, if you were of paranoid or easily influenced mind, you probably feared Y2K and all of the dire predictions that came with it. Although we suppose you could argue otherwise, civilization didn’t disintegrate and nations did not crumble. Instead, we entered the 21st century pretty much the same way we exited the 20th… and that is so, so lame. It’s the 21st century! Where are our flying cars, or underwater cities or robots and androids or cancer cures or colonies on the Moon. Where are our hover boards and holographic movies? We can’t even build a non- embarrassing electric car. The best we’ve done is turn mobile phones into cameras and drop analog TV. In the meantime, those of us waiting for some truly fundamental steps forward are still waiting. Now, while I’m waiting for a vacation to the Moon, some people are waiting for the next great video game system or the next great home computer, or a spouse or a family or just the third ‘Twilight’ movie. Others are holding out hope for world peace or to see the Detroit Lions in a Super Bowl or to see a Kajagoogoo reunion. The future is bright as long as you have hope… that’s how it works. Today we wanted to know what you’re confident the future holds: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
Personally, I’m a geek, so I’m waiting for all of the space related stuff to get kicking, but I’ve accepted that it won’t happen in my lifetime… unless I live to be about 3oo years old, and I’m pretty sure I’ll die by the age of 227. In the meantime, I’m waiting to see what is discovered with the LHC (the large hadron collider). Other than stoking fears that the Earth will be swallowed up by a man made black hole (which is f**king ridiculous) most people haven’t expressed much interest in the LHC, but when it does what it does, I think everyone will be very, very, very interested. Trust me on that. That’s all I’m waiting for with any realistic expectation. Well, that, and the Ravens returning to the Super Bowl… but I like I said, I’m trying to have realistic expectations.
So we’re in our 10th year of the 21st century and we’re all still waiting for something cool to happen… and Twitter ain’t it. Here are some of things you’re waiting for:
Birth control pills for men… I agree with that 100%. Imagine if unsuspecting guys didn’t have to rely on the ‘word’ of whatever woman they’re with. Sure, it sounds shallow, but 85% of the reason guys wear condoms is to prevent pregnancy. STD’s are almost an afterthought. We can deal with the clap, but avoiding baby- making is the number one priority for the un- hitched.
Brain controlled video games… but what would you do with your hands? Other than cost, I can’t imagine that such gaming consoles are that far off. There have been huge breakthroughs in brain controlled computer applications (for those confined to wheel chairs, etc.) so I would imagine that when the same technology can be applied to something affordable, video games will be the first public outlet.
A Soundgarden reunion… I’d be first in line for that
Getting a job… bought into the whole ‘go to college, get a job’ thing; he’s been to college, but the job part isn’t working out as advertised
Flying cars… yea, who doesn’t want a flying car? On the other hand, there’s no reason to suppose that people would drive any better, so maybe road rage would be called air rage
Waiting for the NBA to return to Seattle
Needs sun block pills… the lotions and creams smell like toxic coconuts, and his co- workers keep insulting his pasty ass
Virtual porn… we’re all waiting for that one
Cars that drive for us… as a non- driver, every car is already like that for me
The legalization of weed… yea, because by NOT being legal, it’s so hard to get
The end of the war in Afghanistan… good call
I’ll leave you with that. I’m hosting trivia at a local bar this fine evening, so I need to get my sh*t together. Well, I don’t need to, but I really should.
Until tomorrow, my fist on your face… STAY BEAUTIFUL!”