SHOW # 956 January 5 '010

“Hola quirkyolas,

The brilliant minds at have put their heads together and came up with a pretty definitive list of the top 5 things that women hate doing in front of men.  On the other hand, there are plenty of things that guys hate doing in front of women, things we hate doing in front of other men, things we hate to do in front of family and things we hate to do in front of our significant others.  Our very own Thee Ted Smith has stage fright as it relates to public urination.  The man must pee alone.  Meanwhile, I’ll pee in front of anyone anywhere, BUT I get self conscious when I know you CAN’T see me but can HEAR the thunderous splashing that accompanies a grown man urinating in a toilet.  Couldn’t tell you why, but there it is.  Some people won’t sneeze in front of other people or take off their shoes or even brush their teeth.  We all have our ridiculous quirks that we prefer to do in private and today we asked you to share:  WHAT DO YOU HATE DOING IN FRONT OF OR WITHIN EARSHOT OF OTHER OR YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER?

Like I said, for me, the thing is the loud, splashy peeing.  I don’t even think it’s the initial, constant stream that bothers me… as that proves that you have good aim, but the few last muscle clinches that sound like rocks dropping in water is the part I dread.  Again, I don’t why.

Here are some of the things that you fine folks really don’t enjoy doing in front of others:

Talking to other people on the phone when his wife is in the room… we then established that pretty much every woman in the world must know who YOU are talking to, what YOU are talking about, etc, etc.  We don’t why it is, but we all agreed that logic dictates that if they NEEDED to know, the person on the phone would have called THEM.

Masturbate… understood.  Masturbation is solo time unless someone is doing it for you

Peeing in front of other people

Picking his nose… yea, avoid that.  No one wants to see your boogers

Pop zits

Can’t stand to shave (his face) in front of his girlfriend.  OK man, you’re just weird.

Public speaking or karaoke… he just can’t do it.  I’m not particularly comfortable with either of those, but our job forces us to GET comfortable… well, not the karaoke part

Can’t clip his finger nails in front of other people.  That’s not too bad, and people were mixed about trimming their finger nails around other folks, but we all agreed that clipping your TOE nails is better done in private.

Anything done in a bathroom

Will not sh*t in someone else’s house

Won’t get a tattoo in front of her husband

Hates eating crunch food in front of other people

Will not raise his voice in public, which wouldn’t be a big deal if he didn’t have kids and a dog

Hell, I could go on and on, but I won’t.  Instead, here’s’s list of the five things women hate doing in front of men:

1.        Watching TV Shows- women know they watch awful shows and they prefer to watch them by themselves so as not to be insulted by us guys

2.       Working Out- Most women love being checked out (regardless of their protests) and that’s why they’re at the gym… but they don’t like being checked out when they’re sweaty and un- made up

3.       Stalking People on Facebook- guys join Facebook to get laid, women do it to stalk former boyfriends and to see who’s gotten fat, etc, but they don’t want us to know it… even though we know it.

4.       Passing Gas- do you really need an explanation?

5.       Eating Messy Food- women don’t like to look like pigs

Alright bitches, I gotta go.  I host a little trivia action at a local bar on Tuesday’s so I gots ta get steppin’.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best, but could possibly do better, and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

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01/05/2010 3:15PM
SHOW # 956 January 5 '010
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