So the people at the Marist Institute for Public Opinion asked Americans a question that I could really wrap my arms around. No itâ€™s not about sex, religion, or politicsâ€¦itâ€™s this:
If you could have a super power, what would it be?
1. The ability to time travel was tied with the ability to read minds, at 28%
2. Being able to fly, 16%
3. Teleportation, 11%
4. Invisibility, 10%
5. Unsure or don't know, 8%
Ok, first offâ€¦the people that are unsure or donâ€™t know are stupid. How do you not have an answer for this? Maybe your super power should be the ability to make decisions in life, dummies. I know for sure I donâ€™t want the ability to read mindsâ€¦I see the hell that it puts the chick from No Ordinary Family through, and I donâ€™t need that headacheâ€¦after all ignorance is bliss. Time Travel sounds like fun if I could pull a Biff from Back To The Future & go back in time & gamble on sports events since I know the results. Invisibility would be coolâ€¦â€ťHey whereâ€™s Steve?â€ť â€śOh he in the SeaGals locker roomâ€¦only they donâ€™t know.â€ť But I would have to say, without question, I would want the ability to Flyâ€¦just think of how much cash I would save on gasâ€¦I would bundle up & fly to work from Puyallup every day.
So Elton John is in the news again as the saga between him & Billy Joel continues. Last week we talked about how Elton said that Billy has an alcohol problem, to which Billy responded by saying that â€śthatâ€™s just Elton being Elton.â€ť This spawned this great moment from Mono-Nick:
Well, Elton was on the Today show yesterday and said that Billy might have said that, but in actualityâ€¦Billy HATES Elton for what he said. Based on this, Mono-Nick â€śun-earthedâ€ť a song that Elton sang at a concert a couple of days agoâ€¦check it out:
This morning we read that Ex-"Smashing Pumpkins" bassist D'arcy Wretzky is currently behind bars in Michigan. According to TMZ, it's all because several horses on her farm broke free ... and ran amok in her town. The incident occurred back in 2009, and the horses somehow got out of their enclosures. The neighbors flipped out and called the cops. We're told D'arcy was ticketed for the crime, but she forgot to pay, and then missed four consecutive court dates ... triggering a bench warrant for her arrest. The law finally caught up with D'arcy, who was cuffed on Tuesday. Based on this, we askedâ€¦whatâ€™s the dumbest thing you have done to get in trouble with the law? Here are some of the texts:
I got arrested for drawing a smiley face on a sign at the skate park... my school cop came outta the bushes and "busted" me for drawing!
When i was 12, i shined a lazer pen in my neighbors window and they thought it was a gun and called the cops.
Â got too stoned in BC and got pulled over going wrong way down one-â€‹way street w/out license or insurance. Luckily they didnt find my shrooms
(from my buddy Monson) Bought a pitcher at one bar then told everyone they sucked and took the pitcher and walked to another bar pitcher in hand. Got stopped by the cop that was Â at Steveâ€™s wedding
One time I was behind a store giving my boyfriend (oral negotiations) and someone called the police. Firetrucks and paremetics showed up with lights and sirens on cuz though I was giving him CPR
I didn't return VHS tapes in the early 90's and ended up with a warrant,went to jail after being pulled over after work by a trooper.
Todayâ€™s Video Blog features David Alan Grierâ€¦.DAG is at The Parlor Live all weekend.