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I type this with a heavy heart…I am sadly no richer than I was on Friday, and being that I was broke on Friday…thanks to rising gas prices, I am even broker today. I did not win the Mega Millions on Friday night…even though I truly thought that one of my 10 tickets would be the winner. Nope…not me. Not only am I not richer…I am also not any smarter! I am such a moron when it comes to lottery (Friday was the first time I have ever played), that I didn’t realize that I had more than one chance to win with mega Millions…and after I saw I didn’t win the jackpot, I tossed my ticket in the trash. Well…apparently there are 5 people in Washington that won 250,000 bucks!!!!!!! I might be one of them, but I have to go through Lucy’s droppings in the garbage to find out. I’ll do it. How great of a headline would that be: “Man wins $250,000 with a defecated ticket!” Ok…they might say “soiled” or something less gross. The highlight of this talk was this text making fun of me:
how lazy can you be when all you have to do is scan your ticket to see if you've won?
What a weekend…yesterday was the Super Bowl of Wrasslin’…Wrestlemania went down yesterday, and I have to say it was the best Wrestlemania in years. The highlight…the battle for the streak…the end of an era…Triple H vs. The Undertaker. These guys seriously brought it in their hell in a cell match, and the Taker won to become 20-0 in Wrestlemania matches. It was an amazing match. The other highlight was obviously the match between John Cena and The Rock. This was a great bout as well, and The Rock looked great in the ring. Do you think it’s strange that I just said that a muscular man wearing nothing but boots and underwear looked great? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! The Rock gave Cena the Rock Botton and pinned him 1-2-3 to win the match and close the show.
The weekend was great for me for another reason as my hockey team…the Tacoma Donkeys finished the season in 1st place…yup, we went from worst to first. Playoff’s for us start in about a week as we have a 1st round bye. I’ll keep you posted on Donkeynation!
I had a great weekend, but I think my homies in Windowpane had an even better weekend. I’ve known Glen, Mark, Tony, and Kev for a while now…and not only are they a great bunch of dudes, but their music is awesome! They are currently on tour with Five Finger Death Punch, and they got to do something that is a dream of mine to do…play a show at The Paramount Theater. That is my favorite venue in Seattle to see a show…I can only imagine what it would be like to play there…my other fave is the original Showbox, and I have been lucky enough to play a few times there, but the Paramount will probably be a venue that I will never be able to rock the drums on! The guys in Windowpane did though, and I am so proud of them…check out this footage that our bud, photographer, Iron Mike Savoia took:
Last week, a 59-year-old IT consultant was fired from his job at the Iowa Farm Bureau. The reason we was fired was because surveillance cameras caught him RELIEVING HIS BLADDER on his attractive female coworkers' chairs. Apparently, back in October, women started complaining about mysterious stains on their chairs. Last month, the Farm Bureau installed some surveillance cameras, and they caught the man urinating on chairs. He had never even met some of the women whose chairs he defiled. The company thinks he used his IT access to search through employee photos, and then picked out the hot women and targeted their chairs for his fetish. The Iowa Farm Bureau says he caused about $4,500 in damage. The West Des Moines police are investigating. Hold on…$4500? How much were these chairs? They should fire the office manager for wasting money too!
So that guy might be the worst co-worker ever…based on this…who thinks that they have the worst co-worker? What is your co-worker horror story? Here are some of the texts:
This one guy brings his reall fat wife to work with him during the graveyard shift and nails her in the utility closet.
i had a coworker that shared a small office with me and he would go to the gym at lunch then hang his sweaty clothes on the office fan to dry so i had to smell his netherpart sweat. I got him back by eating pecans at my desk, he has a nut allergy.
I used to shared a company van with another driver and every morning I have to deep clean the steering wheel because he put his nose boogers in there
My co-workr was caught ,fired, & is doin time 4 urinating in the coffee pots in the lunch room!! Let that b a warning 4 anybody thinkn thats funny! He got 24mo!
The a-hole that pisses in the stall with the seat down and can't clean up.. Fk you
I have a co-worker that eats pills and drinks beer on the job. Then proceeds to talk trash about other co-workers. Its awful.
Yesterday was April Fool’s Day, and the internet was full of pranks…some even pulled by some of the more well known tech giants! Google released its latest “feat” – a version of Google Maps for the ‘long neglected’ Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). The game features old school pixelated graphics, a Google software engineer, wrote in a post on Google's official Maps blog, quote: ‘With Google Maps 8-bit, you can do all the things you already do on regular Google Maps. Google's created Chrome Multitask Mode for April Fool’s Day. The system would allow users to surf the web with both hands by using more than once mouse on the same computer or allow two people to use the computer at the same time. A website called ThinkGeek.com released a prank gadget to mark the return of Hungry Hungry Hippo’s for the iPAD generation, which puts a set of the plastic hippos on top of the user's iPad. YouTube launched The YouTube Collection, taking the site off the internet and bringing it into users living rooms. In the scheme, users would be shipped shrink-wrapped boxes of all of the DVDs that it takes store the information held by the video-sharing website. The first installment would come via 175 moving vans, and then get additional updates every week as more videos are posted to the site.
Being that yesterday was April Fool’s Day…were you pranked? What was the best prank you pulled? Here are the texts:
i told my family that my wedding had to be pushed back because my fiance didnt want to be fat and pregnant in her wedding dress
A couple years ago my mom applied for an over 40 modeling agency, she called me yesterday and told me her portfolio had been purchased by hustler and she was going to be appearing in hustlers next issue... I immediately cancelled my subscription. Then she called back with the April fools – Rob
Did you see Fado's prank on FB? They advertised white Guinness, "available only today!" There's a picture on thirty wall.
Woke my wife up asking where the car was like somebody stole it
I was about to give my girl flowers then yelled april fools and tore them up :) rick in auburn
I once put exlaks into a dinner I made for my family of 10. We only had one bathroom at the time.
I redirected my roommates Internet traffic through a specially set up proxy that made all of his Internet pages load upside down.
Duck taped dads car shut
A friend of mine is a sheriff. Ran into my moms house covered in fake blood and had him screech into my moms driveway about 30 seconds after I ran through the door.
I'm surprised the poor woman didn't have a heart attack
My roomate is always talking about buying a new enviormentally friendly "green" car. So I covered every inch of non window space with sodded grass yesterday.
Everyone on my facebook thinks im in Navy bootcamp right now
I changed my fourteen year old brothers phone to spanish Im 10
I had my friend convinced that Undertaker lost at Wrestlemania last night. Best I could do frnm work.
Today's video blog features a gift from the fine folks in Tacoma -- Johnny's Seasoning Salt!