Earlier this week in Florida, a married couple got into an argument, which is nothing new, but the fight ended with the wife trying to slice off her husband’s man- satchel… with a pirate sword. Who the f**k owns a pirate sword? Anyway, we don’t know the whole story, but essentially, the woman snapped when her husband called her a ‘floozie’. Who even says ‘floozie’ anymore? Whore, slut, ho… they all work, but ‘floozie’? ‘Floozie’ is such an out- of- date- term we’re surprised she took the time to be offended, as opposed to laughing at her husband and asking him if he has any idea what year it is. Instead, she tried to cut off his seed- bag. Speaking of old lingo, the folks at MSN put together a history of slang terms over the last 100 years . It starts in the 1910’s and goes through the first decade of the current millennium. All of this inspired today’s question: WHAT OUT- OF- DATE SLANG DO YOU STILL USE OR WHAT SLANG TERM HAVE YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD?
Personally, I like the old- school slang: gams = a woman’s legs, horsefeathers = an expletive, flat tire = an idiot, pill = someone you don’t like, berries = something good and on and on. Love the ancient slang.
Here’s the crap you say followed my best effort to translate what the hell you’re actually saying:
“slam pig”… woman of large carriage (fat!) who actively seeks sexual partners… or as I like to say, the big chick who waits for you to get drunk
“bomb”… as in, ‘that’s awesome/ great’
Lickety- split… fast, swift
“dog will hunt”… something that does exactly what it’s supposed to do
“Whipper- snapper”… a young douche or young ingrate
“Cocka mamy”… ridiculous/ stupid
“Jive turkey”… a**hole
“Oh snap”… means “holy sh*t!”
“Trollop”… whore, ho, slut
“Kosher”… everything is good or good enough
“Colored”… black… it should be pointed out that black is the ABSENCE of all color. Just sayin’
“Pins”… a woman’s legs
“Riggamarole”… the usual or the expected
“Boss”… fantastic/ outstanding
“Mind your P’s and Q’s”… mind your manners
As he does every time he comes to Seattle, Zane Lamprey, host of “3 Sheets” and "Drinking Made Easy"dropped by the studio and talked all things booze. That is exactly why we enjoy talking to Zane. Anyway, he’s doing a little thing called Zane- a Polooza here in Seattle tomorrow night. Check it out.
It’s time for me to start my weekend… you too!
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”
Party with David Lee Rothâ¦ if you like to party, DLR is your guy
Hang out with Hugh Jackman while he was in the NAVY
Had to turn down TWO free trips to Vegas
Turned down an all- expenses- paid trip to Cabo
Could have been in the movie Vision Questâ¦ wait, youâre upset that you werenât?
Brother offered to fly him out of town on his wedding dayâ¦ turned it down and had 4 miserable years
Could have lived in Maui for a year
Had a full scholarship to the Berkley School of Music in Boston, but didnât take advantage
A very milfy MILF was offering up her goods to him at a wedding, but he was there with his parents, so when they were ready to leave, he left with them
Could have invested in Microsoft in 1978â¦ heâd have a lot of $$$ right now, or he could have blown a lot of $$$ on cocaine and hookers
Could have seen Zepplin in 1969 when they played at Green Lake, opening for Three Dog Night
Had the opportunity to lose his virginity to a hot chick but he turned her downâ¦ normally Iâd call the guy an idiot, but we should point out that her father was sleeping in a Lay- Z- Boy chair down the hall.Â I think he made the right decision.Â No way dad was asleep.
Could have hung out with Red Man and Method Man
His lead singer made the executive decision to NOT open for Sammy Hagar at the Gorgeâ¦ the singer was one of those âalternative/ emoâ p*ssies who didnât feel that Sammy was cool enough
Could have worked for Ferrari in Italy for 2 yearsâ¦ didnât do it because his wife wanted to be close to her mother.Â WTF?!?Â If, as an adult, you need to be that close to your parents, move back in with them.Â Just sayinâ
Could have been a Congressional appointee to West Point
BAD SHIRT WEEK CONTINUES
If you donât know, all of us are âcleaning our closetsâ, so to speak, and getting rid of all the clothes we donât wear anymore.Â Anyway, weâre doing it all week and hereâs Day Two:
Until tomorrow, lick around it but not in it and STAY BEAUTIFUL!â
It snowed in Seattle, and true to Seattle form, the entire city shut down, everyone went into a panic and things became a disaster.Â Itâs the same thing that happened last time it snowed in Seattle, and the time before that, and the time before that, and, well, you get it.Â Anyway, as a result of the panic, everyone had an unnecessarily traumatic night last night trying to get home or trying to get anywhere.Â It was ridiculous and itâs all anyone has been talking about, so we decided to continue the âtalkâ today:Â ITâS SNOW- BITCH 2010, WHATâS YOUR STORY?
11 hours to go from Capitol Hill to Tacoma
Tree fell over onto his driveway and he has no power at his house.Â He DOES have a fireplace, but no firewood, so he and the wife have been burning furniture
Angry with single people driving in the car pool lanes
Took six hours to drive home, only to find out that he has no power at his house.Â Good times!
Couldnât get to work today
Delivers pizza (for the Hut) for a living and IS AT WORK today doing just that.Â Thatâs not whatâs pissing her off however.Â Whatâs pissing her off is that very few people are tipping.Â What gives?
Suddenly doesnât enjoy their rear- wheel- drive car
Was stuck in traffic for 7 hours
Got a text at 2 am saying âstay homeâ, got a call at 9 am saying âcome inâ
Canât make it to the liquor store
Stuck in a ditch with his wife and kid for 6 hoursâ¦ called AAA, but they (AAA) cancelled the call because conditions were too âdangerousâ
His colostomy bag exploded in the car while trapped in trafficâ¦ the real beauty of this is that it wasnât their car
There were plenty more gripes, groans and bitches, but most of them included swipes at âstupid driversâ (meaning every driver other than you).
OK bitches, weâre out until next Monday.Â Do us, and you, a favor and have a really good, very safe Thanksgivingâ¦ or donât.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!â
Former President George W. Bushâs long awaited memoir, âDecision Pointsâ, hits the bookstores today.Â In the book, W sheds his version of light on the events that transpired during his 8 years as President, including the response to 9/11, âweapons of mass destructionâ NOT being in Iraq, what it was like to work for with Dick Cheney, and how Kanye West was the most âhurtfulâ person he experienced.Â Not Osama bin Laden, but Kanye West.Â I think that tells you everything you need to know.Â Nevertheless, if you want some âinsightâ into Wâs decision making process, his book is out today, explaining why he did things the way he did.Â Speaking of explaining why you did what you did, an extremely popular DJ in England got into trouble after he was busted for masturbating on a flightâ¦ in front of the other passengers.Â He doesnât deny that he âshucked the cornâ, but he says he doesnât remember doing itâ¦ and he DID do that, it had to be because of the combination of alcohol and pain killers.Â If he says so.Â Who know; maybe heâs telling the truth?Â Weâve all been in that situation where things looked worse than they were, but we never got a chance to explain the situation.Â Today we gave you that chance:Â IF I WERE TO WRITE A MEMOIR, IâD HAVE TO START WITH AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY _______ HAPPENED.
Here are some of the things you believe you need to explainâ¦ and, really, you do:
Why he slept with his younger brotherâs wifeâ¦ to be clear, they werenât âsleepingâ
Heâs Polishâ¦ uses that as an excuse for doing stupid things
Broke up with his boyfriend, got wasted, blacked out, woke up bloody and isnât sure what happenedâ¦ although, WE are
After suffering through some âbadâ relationships where âcomplicatedâ women (meaning âwomenâ) treated him poorly, he decided that he wanted to âsimplifyâ, so he dated a âmentally challengedâ (meaning âretardedâ) woman for 6 months.
Would like to explain why, in a 5 year period, he was charged with assault, assault with intent to commit murder, premeditated murder, homicide, attempted robbery, attempted armed robbery, conspiracy, possession and possession with intent to distribute.Â Iâm guessing itâs because heâs a murderous, thieving, drug addict, but he says heâs innocent of ALL charges and has no idea why he was singled out.Â If nothing else, at least get an IDEA of why you were singled out.
He âletâ his wife hit him with a car in Germanyâ¦ he didnât really âletâ her, he just didnât think sheâd do it, but she did it.Â She also threw the car into reverse and tried to hit him again, but he managed to get out of the way.
Wants to explain why he ended up in a fist fight in the parking garage of the Las Vegas airport
Why he let a friendâs mother give him a bath when he was in junior high schoolâ¦ simply supporting his local pedophile.Â Awwwwww
Wants to explain exactly why he went home with a trannyâ¦ no explanation needed
Really wants to clear up why his mother found him with his penis lodged in the sofa
My favorite call of the day; when she was 18 years old she madly in love with a 22 year- old man.Â This same 22 year- old man happened to be going to jail on THREE rape charges (relaxâ¦ two of them were his cousins, one of them was a friend of one of the cousins) as well as attempted murderâ¦ OF HER FATHER!Â She was âyoung and in loveâ and believed that her boyfriend was innocent because, well, you know, he SAID he was.Â It took her two years, but she finally figured it out and moved on to other men.Â Â Well, that didnât work out too well either.Â She decided that sheâs a lesbian now.Â Seriously.
So, weâve teamed up with the folks at the Washington state Lottery for a little thing weâre calling Menâs Room Millionsâ¦ and yes, weâre being optimistic, as there are no guarantees that anyone will win.Â Nevertheless, weâre trying, so hereâs the idea; we asked for a number between 1 and 59 from 5 different callers and a number between 1 and 39 from one different caller to come up with the numbers weâre gonna play for tomorrow nightâs Power Ball drawing.Â We encourage you to play as well.Â Here are the numbers:Â 30- 38- 14- 24- 42 and a Power Ball number of 21.Â Play themâ¦ see what happens.
Iâll leave you with thatâ¦ gotta go for trivia.
Until tomorrow, live and let die and STAY BEAUTIFUL!â
30 years ago today, Mount Saint Helenâs erupted, blasting itâs top 1,300 feet into dust, killing 57 people.Â Within 3 minutes, a lateral blast from the volcano, traveling at more than 300 miles per hour, blew down and scorched 230 square miles of forest.Â A plume of ash shot 15 MILES into the air and the largest landslide in recorded history blocked a shipping channel in the Columbia River for two weeks.Â Thatâs just PART of the story, of course, but the long and short of it is this; when Mount Saint Helenâs blew her top, there was hell to pay.Â That same euphemism could be used for Pierce County Deputy Allen Myron; heâs the 11 year police veteran that âblew his topâ, so to speak, after getting into an argument with his father- in- law and deciding to SETTLE the argument by gunning down both his father AND mother- in- law in cold blood before taking his own life.Â No one knows what the argument was about, but the working theory is that it was that argument that provoked the tragic chain of events that followed.Â Who knows?Â Today we wanted to know, for better or for worse:Â WHAT CAUSED YOU TO BLOW YOUR TOP?
Thought his phone died and that set him offâ¦ which would make me VERY happy
Like a lot of people, road rage sets them off
Goes crazy when he finds out that his customer service call has been routed through India
Walked in on his girlfriend having sex with his friend
The âred- headed freakâ who leaves their sweat all over the gym equipment
Won a $25,000 lottery AFTER winning $7000 in Vegas
Woke up to two smashed car windows and a stolen stereoâ¦ AND it was raining that day.Â It was the 4th time in a year that this has happened to her and sheâs had enough
A wayward pedestrian (the self- important âI must walk and text at the same timeâ a**hole) wandered in to a crosswalk without looking, got mad the driver and punched his car hood.Â Whatâs up with that?Â This is the only city Iâve ever seen that done with frequency; everywhere else in America you just invited a bullet to the face or fists to the teeth.
Lost it when they saw a kid throw a rock at his dog
His bay- mama took off with his son when the kid was still an infant
Found out his ex girlfriend and his friendâs current girlfriend (same girl) was killed.Â She was raped and then smashed over the head with a rock; understandably, he blew his top.
Saw his stepfather hit his mother and we went all Mt. Saint Helenâs.
And on and on it went.
MENS ROOM ORIGINAL RED
So our beer made a comeback as of yesterday, and like last time, Elysian Fields, Elysian Brewing Company and Tangle Town are all carrying our tasty brew, but weâre getting word that THIS go round, more bars will be serving up Menâs Room Original Redâ¦ and we couldnât be happier.Â Hereâs a picture of out tap handle.Â Brings a tear to my eye.
Thatâs all Iâve got.Â Gotta host trivia tonight, so I need to start drinking!
Until tomorrow, rock on, rock out and STAY BEAUTIFUL!â