The Republican National Convention just wrapped up last night and the Democratic National Convention is coming up soon. As the saying goes, 'you know a politician is lying if they're moving they're mouth'... and it's true. The so- called 'fact checkers' of the media take every speech and compare what is said to the truth, and 99% of time, nothing a politician says in a public forum has any semblance to reality. In defense of this, the RNC chairman recently said that his party won't be swayed facts. I'm not making that up. That was an actual statement from the guy. Don't worry, the DNC chairman is sure to issue a similar statement when his candidates take to the podium to offer you snake oil. Politicians lie about everything, and we all know it. That being said, EVERYONE lies... albeit, not about EVERYTHING, but we do have as list of the top 5 lies told by men and women, respectively. I'm guilty of all 5... and so are you. Today, we don't wanna know your most extravagant lie or the most quick- witted fabrication you've told to save your ass or land some ass, but no... today's question is: WHAT LIE DO YOU TELL MOST OFTEN?
Always lies about why he's late to work... he works 5 minutes away and still finds a way to be late
Lies to his wife when they're shopping... she's an interior designer, so when she asks his opinion, he claims that he's color- blind. Personally, I think that's a stroke of genius
"I love you"
"I'm busy" or "I'm unavailable"
"last time I smoked was '94"... minutes ago
Always says he's busy... he rarely is
Told his school (on several occasions) that his car had broken down, but he was having sex. wish I'd had that problem in school.
"I'm on my way home". I never actually lie about that, but I'm at the mercy of taxis, so it seems like I am. Trust me.
Claims he's unemployed to avoid buying stuff
Has to lie about his relationship status to his 'baby mama' in an effort to be able to see his daughter
Alright bitches, not only is it Friday... a.k.a. Fridizzle, but we are on the cusp of a 3- day weekend. Well, for some of us, hopefully that includes you. Anyway, we'll be back on Tuesday.
Until then, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
BBC News magazine recently ran an article about procrastination, which is defined as 'putting off or delaying or deferring an action to a later time'... or, basically, being a lazy- ass. Anyway, the article generated a huge response from readers who started coming clean about their own worst cases of procrastinating. The stories ranged from leaving up their Christmas tree until SEPTEMBER, to NOT cashing an $8000 check to a guy who took 16 years to install shelves in his kitchen... as he'd promised his wife. Actually, he didn't actually do it. His wife was pregnant when he promised and it was his son who finally did it... when he was 16. To be fair, I was supposed to install a shelf in our laundry room about 3 and a half months ago and I just haven't done it. It's not that I haven't had time, and it won't take long or be very difficult, but I find ways of avoiding it anyway. Like most procrastinators, I offer up the hollow reassurance that "I'll get to it"... and I really might... but probably no time soon. I know I'm not alone and that leads to today's question: WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO, BUT HAVE NOT?
I have a list about a mile long, but, I'll share it later. As for you:
Needs to change the oil and BRAKES in all THREE of his vehicles... I think he'll be dead soon
Has to have sex... he turns 30 soon, had a girlfriend, but never went "all the way". Well, then you didn't have a 'girlfriend', you had a friend that was a girl
Needs to update his tax information and include his wife and kid as dependents
Needs to actually CHECK his engine, since the 'check engine' light has been on for THREE YEARS
Needs to either get a divorce OR 'bang' his boss. If you bang your boss, trust that the divorce will follow quickly
Needs to let his girlfriend know about his wife... or his wife about his girlfriend
Needs to learn Filipino to communicate with her Filipino husband... she bought Rosetta Stone in January... it's almost September
Getting a driver's license... it was suspended 20 YEARS AGO! He's still driving, but not legally
Needs to fix his toilet... it's been leaking for 6 months
Needs to set up his 401k... been at his current job for 9 months. DO IT! It's worth it.
MEN'S ROOM ORIGINAL RED
As you may or may not know, we recently ran a contest for someone to redesign our 6- pack packaging. Lots of very, very cool submissions, but alas, we had to select one winner, and the winner is a guy by the name of Nick. Nick, essentially, recreated our likeness... but we all noticed one peculiar element; Miles' hairline seemed a bit, I dunno, 'futuristic'. Miles has a fairly healthy head of hair, but in Nick's mock- up, his hairline seemed to start somewhere in the middle of his head. This was not lost on Miles, who posited that maybe, just maybe, the artwork could be re-worked in such a way that that he doesn't appear to be balding. Well, Nick graciously obliged and offered us this 'updated' version:
OK bitches, I'm outta here. It's been swell. Does anyone say that anymore?
Until tomorrow, watch where you put that thing and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
So, a 4- year- old kid in South Carolina got his mother in trouble when he told the cops that the "tea" his mother gave him at an Irsih pub "tasted funny", made him "dizzy" and that made him "laugh a lot". Then he explained that she gave him similar "tea" at home. as you have, no doubt, figured out, it wasn't tea, it was beer, and now mom (of the millennium) is under arrest. I think I was about 12 when I had my first beer. This kid did it (several times) at 4. On the other end of the spectrum, we have a list of the oldest celebrity virgins. The oldest person on the list is Lisa Kudrow, a.k.a., Phoebe from "Friends". She was 31 when she was deflowered by her now- husband, but the oldest CURRENT virgin is Olympian Lolo Jones, who remains unsampled at the ripe old age of 30. I went to school with a girl (who shall remain nameless) who lost her v- card in FIFTH GRADE! Makes her the youngest person I've ever known personally to have sex. I was 17 before I reached that milestone. And it's not like I KEPT getting laid after that. Anyway, today's question: what were you the first of your friends to do or try?
First of his friends to try acid
Was the first cheerleader to have a smoking permit; a smoking permit is a parental permission slip to smoke at school. Do they still allow that? I remember that from my school days.
First to get drunk... drank a bottle of Andre at age 13. He hasn't had Andre since then
Started smoking at 9- years- old, started drinking at 10 and started smoking weed at 10
First of his friends to use a chainsaw... he was 10
First to go to jail... did 6 months
Lose his virginity... thing is, he was the self- confessed dork of the group, so everyone assumed he'd be the last among them to sample the carnal lights
Started drinking coffee regularly at age 6
Got a fake ID at 16... leads me to believe that he was the hairiest of the bunch
First of his friends to have a kid... didn't give his age
Grw a beard and chest hair at age 14... still hairy
First to make his own booze (wine)... said it was terrible but it got him drunk
First to get an organ rebuilt... kidney was all messed up at age 17
First to get arrested... was 11 years old, and his parents were SO proud
Had sex with his friend's mother at age 17... what this implies is that he was the FIRST to have sex with his friend's mother.
SIT AND SPIN
With Rock Out Hunger in full swing tomorrow, Jolene decided to grace us with bands that "put something in your stomach". I was pushing for Rod Stewart. Here's alink:
OK, hope to see you tomorrow at Rock Out Hunger.
Neil Armstrong died over the weekend, so did the original voice of 'The Count' from Sesame Street. A kid in Baltimore (County) was shot on his first day of school... I always hated going back to school, but I never dealt with anything like that... a guy called 911 seven times in the hopes of convincing female officers to come over to his place and have sex with him (they came over, but he was arrested), a couple got into a fist- fight AT THEIR ORGY and a porn actor is claiming that Kim Kardashian's vagina is akin to a clown car... if you get my meaning. Like every weekend, plenty of serious, stupid, ridiculous and WTF moments made the news and today we took the opportunity to talk about all of it with our random question. Basically, you called, we asked you a random question and then we discussed the bit of news that inspired the question.
That's pretty much what happened today. Well that, and I farted a lot. I mean A LOT a lot. Lots of beer and grilled food this weekend. Turns out that's a volatile combination in my belly... and then my ass.
I'll leave you with that.
Until tomorrow, rock hard, ride free and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Lance Armstrong, once regarded as one of the world's greatest athletes, due to his seven consecutive Tour de France titles between 1999 and 2005, not to mention his bronze medal in the 2000 Summer Olympics (although, I suppose I just mentioned it)... he may now be regarded as one of the world's biggest fraud. Last night, the U.S. anti- Doping Agency moved to strip Armstrong of ALL of his titles and ban him (for life) from cycling because, frankly, it seems that Armstrong used banned performance enhancers during his tenure as the cycle king. This is kinda like the 1990 Grammy award for "Best New Artist", which went to Milli Vanilli. It was a little while later that we all discovered that Milli Vanilli COULDN'T be the best new artist because they weren't the actual artist. Sure, they eventually gave the Grammy back, but for a little while, at least, they had some cool hardware on the mantle above the fireplace. Kinda like Lance. They were all the owners of something they got through dubious doings. We're sure you do too. WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT IS NOT EXACTLY ON THE UP AND UP?
His college degree... he basically cheated throughout college and actually retained very little of what he was 'taught'
Swapped the title and vin number out of the Jeep he bought. Basically, he bought a soon- to- be- repoed Jeep from a guy. Another guy had a Jeep that was all banged up but was never reported to insurance, so the guy with the banged- up Jeep sold the the guy who bought the first Jeep all the vin number plates. Got it?
Spent $5000 to fix his "bad" teeth. He's half Japanese and he informed us that the Japanese have notoriously bad teeth. Who knew?
Is the proud "owner" of 32 street signs
Has one of Saddam Hussein's gold- plated AK- 47's... or so he says
was a truck driver for 3 years... didn't have his license
Back in high school, a friend of his gave him a pair of Nikes... turns out that they were stolen. He found out after the kid who'd HAD them stolen rolled up on him in the hall and asked him why the f**k he had his shoes.
Has illegal ammo, including armor piercing bullets
Has about 1600 illegally downloaded movies
Has a "Key to the City" of Tacoma... didn't earn it, just found it when cleaning out a warehouse. We convinced him to track down the family and turn it over to them. The guy who actually earned it died. We think.
Everlast dropped by today for a chat in advance of his show tomorrow night at Jazzbones. Cool, cool dude. When I say 'cool', I mean, he's cool in that universal sense. No bullsh*t, down to earth, honest, all that stuff. Personally, been a fan of his for awhile, so I was happy to have him in. Definitely liked the dude and all I can say is, he is as advertised.
OK bitches, it's the weekend, I'm out!
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
At a church in Spain there was a deteriorating fresco of Jesus (Christ... perhaps you've heard of him?). It got to the point that everyone agreed that it needed a fresh coat of paint. That costs money, of course, but one of the parishioners, a 91- year- old woman, offered to touch it up free of charge. I believe the church provided the paint and she provided the work. You can check out her handiwork on our Facebook page. Anyway, I can't find the words to explain it, so I'll quote the BBC's observation: "it looks like a crayon drawing of a very hairy monkey in an ill- fitting tunic." That says it all. Her heart was in the right place, but her talent wasn't. Meanwhile, in Montana, police were attempting a particularly angry escaped cow. A 52- year- old guy who'd been around livestock his entire life decided to help. Instead, he had to be taken to the hospital after the cow charged him and made a mess of his day. And in Los Angeles, 7 good Samaritans attempted to aid a man after he crashed his SUV into a fire hydrant and a utility pole. Thing is, live wires from the utility pole introduced themselves to the pool of water that had formed from the busted hydrant and 5 of the wolud- be do- gooders were shocked... the other 2 were electrocuted and died. In fact, the only person who was not the recipient of electricity was the guy in the SUV. Sometimes, despite your pure intentions, you made something that was already bad, a little worse. WHEN DID YOU UNINTENTIONALLY MAKE A SITUATION WORSE?
Made a joke about the name 'Roberta' at a family dinner with his new girlfriend... who's mother's name was, of course, Roberta
Set his house on fire with a "decorative" oil lamp... dumped water on it and spread the fire across the entire floor of the home. Lost all of his stuff
Years ago, an ex girlfriend was in the hospital with a lung infection. When she was finally released from the hospital, he bought her a bouquet of flowers... that she was allergic to. She was back in the hospital for 2 weeks.
A friend of his at work was up for a promotion to a supervisor position. He and the bosses were joking around one day and they mentioned that his friend was a 'good guy'. Jokingly, he said, "yea, jail really mellowed him out." They believed him and his friend had to sign a full- disclosure form for a background check. Not sure if he got the promotion or not
Offered to help his "old lady" neighbor mow her lawn. She was using an electric lawnmower, and when he started mowing, the extension cord got caught in the blades and everything went to hell.
Just earlier today, he accidentally erased all of the info on the computer of a property manager. He's the IT guy
At a gathering of friends, one friend and a girlfriend started arguing and were on the verge of breaking up. Not wanting to see this happen, he decided to lighten the mood by recalling a story of when they were all at a sex shop and his buddy slapped his girl with a green dildo and chased her around the shop. Good times, funny times. Problem is, he got the girlfriends confused. That particular story involved a FORMER girlfriend... who happened to be at the root of the argument they were having.
OK bitches, I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, pass it to the left and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
As they do every year around this time, the fine folks at Beloit College in Wisconsin have released their list of things that incoming freshmen are too young to know or have experienced. For example, Lou Gehrig is just a guy who had a disease named after him because Cal Ripkin Jr. had 'always' held the record for the most consecutive games played in the Major Leagues. They've always had blue M&M's, but never tan ones, and Eddie Murphy is best known as the voice of 'Donkey'... not as a stand- up comedian. So maybe you're thinking, 'wow, they're so young', but keep in mind, they're probably thinking, 'Christ, you're really old'. Ever text a teenager? They don't use words. It's insane. Anyway, this leads to today's question: HOW ARE YOU 'OLD SCHOOL'?
Keeps a paper daily planner... seems like everyone uses their cell phone for reminders and stuff. Guess I could do that too, but I keep forgetting
People tell him he talks 'old school'
Drives an old muscle car... it's a stick shift
Still has a P.O. box... unlike most people who have a P.O. box, he has one just because he wants to
Still plays his old NES game console
Owns a landline phone and doesn't own a laptop
Uses an actual calculator... I do too! Wait... what's that? Oh, the calculator is on his WATCH? OK, yea, I don't do THAT.
Doesn't own a cell phone... you're not missing anything, my man.
Still listens to 8- tracks. Owns 278 of them, but not all of them are so awesome
Uses a film camera... sadly, I own a film camera and digital camera... and I end up taking pictures with my Goddamn phone. Go figure
He doesn't Facebook... neither do I and I have no interest. I also don't tweet, in spite of everyone encouraging me to do so. I have nothing against Twitter (no particular interest, but nothing against it) but the reason I don't tweet is simply because I blab for 4 hours everyday. Everything I have to say I have the opportunity to say via a radio station. I think that's plenty.
A guy in Pflugerville, Texas was driving his truck with the windows down. Bees started swarming into the truck and stinging him. It got so bad that he lost control of the truck and crashed into a house. As "luck" would have it, the house that he crashed into was exactly where the bee hive was... hidden in a wall. The hive was 8 FEET TALL, 18 INCHES WIDE, 4 INCHES DEEP, WEIGHED ANYWHERE FROM 80 TO 100 POUNDS AND HOME TO 125,000 BEES. To say that he got the living piss stung out of him is an understatement. He survived... although, when the authorities got to him, he was on the ground COVERED in bees. So now we're wondering if this guy is the world's biggest a**hole and got what he deserved, or if he's just some poor schlep who had a most unfortunate encounter... and deserves to win the lottery. We're talking karma, bitches. You know how you are, what you've done and what you haven't done... now answer this: ASSUMING KARMA IS REAL, IS THAT GOOD OR BAD FOR YOU... AND WHY?
What we got as answers today were more along the lines of the karma that people believe they've already experienced. In other words, we were told what you've done in the past and how karma rewarded or punished you in return. Nothing wrong with that, but kinda hard to write the answers up in a way that would really justify the stories.
On that note, the weekend is calling. If you're at the Seattle Tattoo Expo tomorrow, say hello. I'll be there, getting some new ink.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Country singer Randy Travis was arrested Tuesday night on suspicion of driving under the influence... and threatening the arresting officers. He was driving a Trans- Am (1999 model, if you care) and by the time cops caught up to him, he had driven off the road, through barricades and into construction zone. He wasn't in the car anymore... he was laying on the ground naked. Naturally, the media is all abuzz, wondering if Randy is in a downward spiral. Yea, maybe, but he sings country music. Doesn't he EMBODY what country music has always been about? The way I see it, Randy is legit and everyone else (MOST everyone else) singing country is a phony. Just sayin'. Then there's Kris Jenner, mother of Kim Kardashian, who has come to define the consummate 'stage- mom'. We know she's riding the large, bubbly, Kanye- semon covered coat- tails of Kim, who rose to fame because of a sex tape released in 2007. If you don't remember, sex tapes used to be the way to break into that superficial universe known as 'reality stardom'. Anyway, the word on the street is that Kris has been trying to pimp her voluptuous for years and years. Turns out that, in spite of her denials to the contrary, Kris did, in fact, sign the contract with Vivid Entertainment to release the very sex tape that has led her to millions upon millions of dollars. Makes me sick, but we all have our own parenting styles. Then there's the belief that child stars grow up to become drugged- out, insufferable delinquents, a la Gary Coleman. Looks like McCaully Caulkin is doing what he can to keep the belief alive. Have you seen him lately? Anyway, there's always someone who is the poster- child of what they represent, and today we wanted to know who you think fits the bill: WHO DO YOU THINK BEST REPRESENTS THEIR STEROTYPE?
I know, I know, I'm suppose to write out some of today's more memorable answers, the show kinda descended into people we just don't like. For whatever reason, people who drive Subaru's, male or female, seem to be the most hated. Unless you actually drive a Subaru, you don't like people who drive Subaru's. Who knew?
I'm outta here, bitches. I need a drink or 800,000... and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
Until tomorrow, you can't always get what you want, but you can STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
So, all day today, KISW was celebrating the music... the ROCK music... of the 1980's with a little thing we called "Dude... it's the 80's!" There's a lot of talk about the cheesiness of the 80's, and deservedly so, but for a man like myself, reaching my teens and young adulthood, losing my virginity, discovering the joys of illicit narcotics and alcohol, the 80's were probably some of the best years of my life... which means some of the best times of my life are, rather unfortunately, defined by the era of the Brat Pack, "We Built This City" and the AIDS epidemic. Oh well. Inevitably, there are things that remind you of the good times... even if the reminder sucks. If you're lucky, it doesn't, but either way, today's question: WHAT SONG TAKES YOU BACK TO THE BEST TIMES OF YOUR LIFE?
"Another Brick in the Wall"... it was his father's favorite song and it reminds him of all the good times he had with him
Van Hagar's "Best of Both Worlds"... takes him back to the days of high school debauchery
"Boys Are Back in Town"... reminds him of riding bikes and finding trouble with his buddies in Louisiana
Anything from Ratt's "Out of the Cellar"... that summer, he and a buddy took a road trip in a '68 Camaro
Madonna's "Erotic' or 'Erotica' (don't remember, don't care... hate Madonna)... as a result of that album, he had a lot of sex with his girlfriend
"Love Bites" from Def Leppard, not Judas Priest... he was 17, dating the "best looking girl" he'd seen. He's now married to her and points out that time has been kind... to HER. Not him so much
"Linger" from the Cranberries... reminds her of being a '16- year- old, carefree hottie'.
Crazy Town's "Butterfly"... he admits that the 'band' sucked and the song sucked, but it got him some ass, and THAT, ladies, is why we tolerate bad music
Van Halen I... she lost her virginity to "You Really Got Me"... I believe the song is under 3 minutes
I'm outta here. Gonna jump in my time machine (a combination of a microwave oven, an old Atari console and, yes, a bitchin' DeLorean) and return to 2012.
Until tomorrow, pour some sugar on me and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
A teacher in Glasgow, Scotland... Mr. McGlone... has, apparently, taken A LOT of days off from work the last few years, and each time, he's had to come up with a new excuse. Obviously, you start running out of excuses after a while, so when he took off most recently, he had to come up with a new excuse. This time around he said he couldn't make it into work because he he'd RUN OVER AND KILLED a little girl. The good news is, it wasn't true, but the magnitude of the claim made the school suspicious and Mr. McGlone was busted. Believe it or not, Mr. McGlone wasn't arrested, he was reprimanded. Everybody lies, of course. In fact, a study from Notre Dame (the college, not the hangout of Quasimodo) just released a study that suggest that the average person lies 11 times a week. Some lies are more significant than others; "Yes baby, you look fantastic in that dress" vs "I ran over and killed a kid, so I won't be in today". Whatever- the- case, the average person lies almost a dozen times in 7 days (which, honestly, seems remarkably low) and, according to the study, is bad for your health. According to the Notre Dame folks, whether you think about your lies or not, the stress of telling them, has a detrimental effect. So what we're saying is, you're a liar and so is everyone you know. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE TOLD OR HAS BEEN TOLD TO YOU?
His brother says he went to Iraq while in the army on a secret mission... he didn't
A woman he knew ran the "I have cancer" scam for 4 months... she needed the attention
He stole his brother's car and got away with it
A friend of his used to say that his parents were dead... then they met his mother
At age 16, she convinced her mother that she was spending the night with a friend in Olympia... she actually went to San Francisco to see the Grateful Dead... and take copious amounts of drugs.
His ex stole $8000 in jewelry from his parents
Mom spent all of her college fund on a trip to the Bahamas. Then, when she turned 18, her mom left for Costa Rica and hasn't been back since
Saw a homeless guy in a wheelchair jump out of the chair, chase a guy down and beat his ass. We agreed that a wheelchair suggest that you CAN'T walk, while a motorized scooter says you CAN walk but are too lazy
His buddy passed out drunk and hit his face... they told the school he died. Bit extreme
Her ex told her he was adopted and was Jewish... he was neither
His ex said that her dad molested her... he didn't
Ah bitches, I'm outta here. Before I go, check out "Hipster Ted"!
Until tomorrow, back that ass up and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Not that anyone on this show gives a rat's pink arse, but because of the popularity of the Twilight movie franchise, we're being "treated" to non- stop to the unfolding drama that is the Kristin Stewart/ Robert Pattinson saga. I, for one, was entirely unaware that the two of them were evening dating, but then, I don't care. Anyway, if you don't know; Kristin threw 'Snow White and the Huntsman' director Rupert Sanders some pasty, emo ass, they got caught and now Kristin is trying to win Robert back. That's it, in a nutshell. The OTHER story involved in this nonsense is that Rupert is married AND has three kids. Well, the 'Snow White' movie did well enough that they were planning a sequel. Rupert's wife, Liberty Sander, however, has told Rupert that he will NOT be directing it. She doesn't want him anywhere NEAR Kristin because when he's NEAR her he's IN her. Significant others OFTEN come up with ultimatums, and generally, I consider such things to be a deal- breaker, but in THIS case, yo, Rupert, best listen to the wife, my man. Today's question: WHAT PERSON, PLACE OR THING WOULD YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER PREFER YOU NOT BE AROUND?
His wife doesn't "let" him smoke weed... this particular guy had more problems than he even realized. By the time we were done talking to him, we realized that his wife was a cheating whore and convinced him to marry her because she lied and said she was pregnant. This poor guy just has no idea.
Until he gets "snipped", his wife doesn't want him near her vagina. Not sure why, but for some reason, she can't take the pill and he doesn't wear a condom
Banned from playing video games... his wife almost left his wife because of his addiction to World of Warcraft
Her boyfriend would prefer that she doesn't hang around with her 36- year- old sister because she "acts like a high schooler" and wants to sleep with all of his friends.
His wife wants him to stay away from men who lift weights because he has a "fascination for their bodies"... in other words, she thinks he's gay. I'm not being facetious, that was the vibe we got. She thinks he wants some man- on- man loving and we got that vibe too
Has to keep his wife out of the casino... she's blown through $12,000 of savings and they're down to their last $500. They lost their house and they (meaning his family) are forcing her to get help. The situation was pretty bad.
Bars... his wife hates it when he goes to bars. I'm pretty sure ALL wives hate when their husbands go to bars
His family wants him to stay away from his girlfriend because they have "an unhealthy" relationship... meaning they have A LOT of sex. Isn't that WHY she's your girlfriend?
OK bitches, it's Friday! Time to jet. That's a Blue Angels reference!
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Remember Courtney Stodden? Of course you. She's the 17- year- old Washington State native who, with her stage- parent's blessing, married the exceptionally creepy, 51- year- old actor Doug Hutchison. Contrary to the couple's initial denials, EVERYONE recognized this as a fast- track to the reality 'celebrity' status that Courtney and her mother so desperately desired. Well, their dream is about to come true. Stodden, Hutchison and her mother- turned- manager have signed an agreement with Merv Griffin Entertainment to appear on their own reality show. Even though we all KNEW that this was the plan all along, we just didn't wanna KNOW about it. We kinda hoping it already happened and we just didn't hear about it. Speaking of things you didn't or don't wanna know AND women named Courtney, everybody's favorite STD with hair, Courtney Love, recently got owrd that some broad named Lana Del Ray covered Nirvana's "Heart Shaped Box". What did Courtney do? She tweeted Lana and let her know that "Heart Shaped Box" was about her vagina. No one, and I mean NO ONE wanted to know that. Besides, you'd think that any song about Courtney Love's vagina would have a title like "Fish and Chips" or "Scabs of Regret". Anyway, they say that 'knowledge is power', but there's also that saying that 'ignorance is bliss'. Today we wanted to know: WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT THAT YOU WOULD RATHER NOT HAVE KNOWN?
Found out that her ex likes to wear women's panties
Found out his wife was cheating on him... thanks to his 3- year- old kid
Just the idea that his parents STILL have sex disturbs him
Started dating an ex meth addict... she got drunk one night and she told him all the things she used to do for meth, and by 'things', of course I mean 'men'. Not just WHAT she did, but how many different guys she did
Learned "too much" about his grandmother's sex life and STD history. ANY amount of info regarding a grandmother's sex life and STD history is TOO much info
His first girlfriend (the one he lost his virginity to) admitted that when she first got curious about sex, she 'experimented' wit the dog. The DOG
Assumed that his co- worker and his co- worker's "fat" ex wife were having sex in their van everyday at lunch. Found out that his wife had gotten a yeast infection in a fat roll on her lower back and he was applying ointment
Found out what sea urchin tastes like... suggests that if you DON'T know what it taste like, don't bother to find out. I'd have to agree.
Has bad kidneys, so he frequents the doctor's office... they just found a tumor in his lungs
His girlfriend's brother pointed out the guy who she lost her virginity to
When he was a teenager he found out that his mother was into leather and bondage... discovered it when he found some her "stuff" in a drawer. He and his brother discovered it together and have not spoken about it to this day
Found out how sausage is made when he got a job at a butcher... not knowledge he enjoys having
About 10 years after the fact, he found out that his mother was having sex with 3 of his friends in high school
That's a lot of disturbing stuff... and I love it... because none of it involved me.
Until tomorrow, eat your veggies and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
With Presidential campaigning in full swing, everyone is picking sides and telling you why... which is generally based on whatever party they're registered to vote. That's THINKING!!! Anyway, one thing is for sure, WHOEVER is President and whoever has ever BEEN President, they will take the blame for whatever ills or perceived ills the country faces... whether they have anything to do with it or not. It's how it goes. Speaking of blame, Mitt Romney recently went overseas and committed one verbal blunder after another, regardless of the country he was in. It was actually some pretty comical stuff, but instead of taking responsibility for anything he said, Mittens blamed the media for REPORTING it. Any time there's a tragic shooting in this country, video games, music or movies are the g- to blame. Some religious folks blame natural disasters on homosexuality. I'm blaming my current explosive diarrhea on the Mexican food I ate last night. It was delicious, but this is not a day to 'gamble', if you follow my meaning. If you DON'T follow my meaning, what I'm saying is that I shouldn't fart unless my ass is over toilet water. But as far as blame goes, 32- year- old Robert White of Pennsylvania just might take the cake. Last Sunday he beat up his mother because he blames her for his "small penis". He doesn't relate it to genetics, he claims that she "kicked me in the balls" when he was young. ??? Today's question: WHO DO YOU BLAME... AND FOR WHAT?
To say that most of today's answered left a little something to be desired would be an understatement. To say that most of today's answers sucked would be a bit more accurate.
I'll leave it at that.
I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, jiggle your jibblets and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"