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because we're huge proponents of outdoor, summertime drinking, we're throwing a little shindig tomorrow called The Men's Room Original Red Fest. we've been telling you about it for the last few weeks and we're excited for one, specific reason; we love drinking in the Sun. It's how we roll. Then, in September, KISW is presenting the biggest, baddest Pain in the Grass in the history of history at the Gorge. Sure, there's some serious bands playing, but also, the Gorge is one of those places where people cut loose... all in the name of excessive fun. Next week is July 4th... one of those holidays where everyone seems to party, whether it's with drinks or with explosives. There's something that you look forward to if for no other than to tap your inner partyer and that's what today's question is all about: WHAT'S THE ONE PLACE OR EVENT WHERE YOU LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY?
Sorry everyone, got a little distracted today. A lot of stuff going on here today.
Remember, tomorrow is Men's Room Original Red Fest. Should be a stellar time. More importantly, you should be there. Do you have tickets? If not, you're a fool... a FOOL, I say. On the other hand, should you get a hair up your pasty ass and decide tomorrow that you would like to have a fantastic day of drinking, tickets will be available at the door. Hope to see you there, bitches.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez is in quite a bit of trouble after ?he was charged with murder... but things have gotten even worse for the idiot because now authorities have linked him to a DOUBLE homicide in the Boston area from a year ago. Meanwhile, a guy in Philadelphia was arrested after he was caught by 25 bike cops having sex with the ugliest woman ever to walk the Earth on a park bench. It was 4 o'clock in the afternoon... next to a public baseball field. If you get the chance to see a picture of the woman involved in this story, DON'T). And then there's George Zimmerman, the Florida dude who shot Travon Martin because he was a black kid in a white neighborhood, started his trial this week, hoping to avoid a murder conviction, in spite of murdering a kid armed with Skittles. Look, America has more laws on the books than any other country on the planet ('Land of the fee!') so 'breaking the law' is relatively easy to do, but we wanted to know: NOT THAT YOU EVER WOULD, BUT WHAT CRIME DO YOU FEEL CONFIDENT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH?
Initially I was gonna say I'm black, so I can't get away with anything... but then
Could be the getaway driver in a robbery. He wouldn't want to be a part of the actual robbery because at 6 feet- seven inches tall and 300 pounds, he's REAL easy to identify
Drug dealing... their confidence suggested that it was something they are actively doing
Murder (???)... she watches a lot of 'CSI' and 'Snapped'. Two things; CSI is about as grounded in reality as Harry Potter and the reason 'Snapped' is on TV is because NO ONE got away with murder. Just sayin'
Embezzlement... granted, this guy isn't trying to go big; said he would only embezzle about $60 to $80 a week
Another vote for murder... says to (1) do it alone so that there are no "loose ends" and (2) bury the body "deep"
Could get away with stealing from work... see, they were robbed a while ago and the bosses didn't wanna call the cops
Could get away with shoplifting... has worked as a "loss prevention officer" for years and knows the ends and outs
Passport fraud... works with Homeland "Security" in the IT department and has access to all kinds of info. Pointed out that he could also red- flag anyone's passport at random, just to be a d*ck
OK bitches, I just got the hiccups, so I'm gonna go smoke some weed and get of these f**king things.
Until tomorrow, prepare for Red Fest and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Down the road in Kennewick, Washington, a woman was just trying to enjoy a nice evening walk in Columbia Park with her 3 and 5- year- old children and their pet Chihuahua. At some point, one of the three humans had to use the bathroom, so they used the public restroom in the park. Unfortunately, the door to the bathroom became jammed, and for the next 2 hours, they were all stuck in a smelly public bathroom. Eventually, she and her kids (and dog) were able to escape thanks to some Good Samaritans, but the woman was very "shaken up"... and that was after only two hours. I'm sure that the Chilean coal miners are crying tears of sympathy. As are the people who have taken a Carnival cruise in the last 18 months. Anyway, we've all been trapped somewhere, scary or not, so today we wanted to know: WHERE WERE YOU TRAPPED, FOR HOW LONG AND HOW DID YOU MAKE YOUR GREAT ESCAPE?
Was working in a jail doing plumbing work when a fight broke out among inmates... he and his crew were trapped in a pipe chase for 7 hours
Stuck in a mall elevator with about 20 people for an hour and a half
Trapped in a car, upside down, wrapped around a telephone pole for an hour
Driving a Land Rover when there was an electrical short and he was stuck inside until a Land Rover associate was dispatched to get him out
Trapped into having a "big" wedding... she just wants to elope. Listen, fellas, if you are lucky enough to find a woman who doesn't wanna waste a bunch of money on a 4 hour event, ELOPE!
Stuck between 4 "huge" women on a dance floor... for 7 songs
Got trapped in an MRI machine. Small spaces don't bug me, but if you're claustrophobic, I could understand how that would freak you out
Got lodged under a logjam when he was rafting on a river
My personal favorite; got locked in a shower display at Home Depot by the 5- year- old she was babysitting
Queensryche stopped by the studio today to chat all things Ryche-y. They're playing a sold out show at the Crocodile tonight and we couldn't be happier. The new album f**king rocks and the guys are real cool. We've been hanging with these cats for 8 years now and they have been tremendous.
OK, I'm on my way to see the Ryche do their thing.
Until tomorrow, eat more meat and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
$3900 is a lot of money to spend on ANY article clothing... or so I think. Maybe not for a fur coat, but, frankly, I don't know... or care. However, even if $3900 IS a deal for a fur coat, it would really depend on what type of fur we're talking about. Well, a company in England is offering a $3900 fur coat made ENTIRELY out of male chest hair. Seriously. We don't know how many men shaved their chests to contribute to this creepily odd jacket, but it took about 200 hours to stitch together. If you ARE interested in a chest hair jacket (and you really shouldn't be), you'll probably ALSO be interested in bidding on one of the 32 items formerly owned by Monica Lewinsky that were confiscated by attorney Kenneth Starr during impeachment hearings all those years ago. Sadly, the blue dress with then- President Bill Clinton's semen stain will not be part of the auction. We wanted to know: WHAT DO YOU OWN OR DO THAT OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH?
Carries a concealed gun everywhere
He's a "gay furry", meaning he's gay and excessively hairy... I've met him and he's both
Owns 15 snakes (including a 50 pound, 9 footer) and one bearded dragon... which we, of course, used as a euphemism for a vagina
Owns a lot of gun, which people are ok with, but he cleans them on the front porch... which pisses off the neighbors
Was given 2 black widow as a wedding gift because she's always been into bugs... eventually gave them to the Woodland Park Zoo
She's a real falconer... and uses the falcons to hunt rabbits
He photographs Seattle escorts... USED to be a dominator (??? make version of a dominatrix) and used to physically beat the sh*t outta men for sexual gratification
Currently dating a black chick, but not everyone in his family is OK with that. The good news is, no one else in his family is dating her, so what's the problem?
Collects flashlights... seriously... and has over 100 of them. Drives his wife crazy
SIT AND SPIN
Our biggest Pain in the Grass EVER is coming up this September, and in addition to the big national acts we'll have gracing our stages, we also have a handful of local bands that'll be there to feed you some delicious, homegrown rock and roll flavor. These are the bands we featured today.
For no particular reason at all, I decided that what our fine radio program needs is its own suit of armor. Yea, that's how MY brain works. Anyway, we got it made and here are some pictures of it. If you'll be at Red Fest this Saturday, and you should be, you will see the armor in all it's glory. Keep in mind, it's a 5 hour event this weekend, so I will not be rocking the armor the WHOLE day, but it will be around. Enjoy.
This past Wednesday, a cop in Texas pulled over a driver for routine traffic violation. No big deal. He wrote him a ticket and handed it to the driver. That's when the MONKEY in the backseat of the car lunged at him and bit the officer. It goes without saying, but the officer was not prepared to be attacked by a monkey in a car. Meanwhile, in New Zealand, a burglar broke into a house and came face- to- face with the owner... who had just killed himself. The guy had hanged himself and was swinging in from the ceiling. The would- be burglar freaked out and called the cops. And then there was a situation in England where a man dressed as a penis was rescued from a fight on the street by a woman dressed as a vagina. Sometimes you unexpectedly see something you just didn't expect to see. I NEVER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF BED IF I'D HAVE KNOWN I'D SEE __________ THAT DAY?
Walked into an elevator where two men were having sex. Do you really have enough time to have sex on an elevator? Can you finish THAT quick? Just wondering
Was delivering pizza to a retirement home and was greeted by two "fat, old naked" people. He had to stand there while the naked guy got money to pay for his dinner. He's not sure how long the whole experience lasted, but it lasted too long.
Would have stayed in bed if he knew he'd see his (then) girlfriend's dog get hit and killed by a car
Used to move furniture out of the homes of the recently deceased. Well, one time, the body of the 'recently deceased' was still in the house
His 76- year- old female neighbor came to his front door asking if he'd seen her cat. Thing is, she was naked at the time.
Found a homemade sex tape and popped it in. After about a full 60 seconds, he realized that he was watching his mother have sex with a dude and another woman. Good times!
Saw a guy get hit by a train at the crossing
Saw a homeless guy get hit in the face... with anal beads... that had been pulled from the garbage. Personally, I'd WANT to see that. Too funny
His brother's "fat" girlfriend tried to get in the shower with him when he was 17
While working at a doctor's office, a guy in a trench coat walked in WHILE masturbating and asked what time it was
Stepped in human poop in her nice shoes. The poop was in front of the toilet in a bathroom. Stepping in any kind of poop sucks, but human poop, for whatever reason, is the worst
OK bitches, the weekend is upon us, and I'm ready to get it started. Have a good one, amigos.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Are you familiar with porn star Stoya? Well, her father, like most fathers of porn skank, is upset that she's in porn. UNLIKE most fathers of porn skank however, her father doesn't care that she has sex for money... he's upset because her popularity has thrust her onto a bunch of different porn sites... including the one's he likes to frequent. Now he can't avoid seeing her unless he stops watching porn altogether. We've all got problems. Just ask Ed hardy. Tattoo fans know Ed as, well, as who he is, but a few years ago, his clothing line seemed to be worn by every trendy wanna- be in America. Ed Hardy, however, specifically blames ONE person for making his clothing line "uncool"... and that person would be John Gosselin. And 38 years ago today, in 1975, beaches saw a steady decline in business when Steven Spielberg released "JAWS". People's view of enjoying the ocean changed dramatically. Today, we wanted to know: WHO OR WHAT RUINED IT FOR YOU?
His ex- girlfriend opened his eyes to how selfish, greedy and demanding a woman can be, so has avoided relationships ever since
Used to love corn on the cob... his septic tank overflowed one night and when corn- encrusted turds started bubbling up to the surface, his appetite changed. Not sure whether I should laugh or cringe.
Her older sister ruined her singing career by constantly making fun of her singing voice
Strapped himself into a knee- board... flipped it over and almost drowned
Went to a whorehouse in Germany... the prostitute tried to up the price AFTER they had sex... he (rightfully) argued and ended up getting the sh*t kicked out of him by a large Russian guy. Yea, she ruined hookers for him
'Twilight' ruined vampires and werewolves for him
The stalker and the married guy she met on the online dating site ruined her on online dating
Her "slutty" older sister ruined premarital sex for her. Her sister slept with approximately 40 different guys by age 18 and had herpes by 17
Got into his mother's bourbon when he was 11- years- old... that was 35 years ago and to this day, he can't even smell it without puking
Met three women in a row on an online dating site that had herpes. Maybe you shouldn't go to IHaveHerpes.com
Ok bitches, I'm outta here. Just a reminder to join us Saturday, June 29th, for Men's Room Original Red Fest. Why? Drinking outdoors? Sure. Live music? Absolutely. Food trucks? Of course. Check out our Men's Room Suit of Armor. Oh, f*ck yea. Seriously. Had a suit of armor commissioned specifically for Red Fest. Is that ridiculous? well, sure, but that's what we do.
George Zimmer, the founder of and the spokesman for Men's Warehouse was fired as the face of the company. The company issued a statement about the firing, but gave no actual reason for the decision. If it seems weird that a founder was fired, that's because it is, in fact, weird for a company's founder to be fired. At any rate, the spokesman we're all familiar with is no longer the spokesman. Speaking of spokesman/ people, Miley Cyrus has kind of become the unofficial spokesperson for weed. Aside from numerous pictures of her smoking herb, she recently told "Rolling Stone" that, in a nutshell, she's all about the weed. She even brought up weed's other unofficial spokesman, Snoop Dogg. They recently recorded a song together. Oh, and then there's Jared Fogle, a.k.a., Jared from Subway, lost 245 pounds in a year as a result of eating Subway everyday... in addition to some exorcise. He wrote a letter to "Men's Health" magazine about it, Subway saw it and hired him. It's the only job he's ever had and he's worth $15 million dollars now. Most of us, of course, are not official spokespeople for anything, but we damn well should be: BECAUSE I TALK ABOUT IT SO MUCH, I SHOULD BE THE SPOKESPERSON FOR ____________.
Carl Jr.'s... eats there all the time
Sounders FC... rabid fan
Kraken Black Spiced Rum... even takes pictures with bottles of it
Dog Weight Pull... which is exactly what it says
The list went on and on, but what got us off topic was the idea of fried SPAM and pineapple on pizza. Personally, I'm not a fan of the idea, being that I don't like pineapple on my pizza or SPAM at all, but yea, we spent an inordinate amount of time on the subject.
On another note, after asking for NINE YEARS, we finally got our coveted mirror ball! Thanks to Andy and the ladies at Rick's, we got ourselves our much coveted mirror ball. If it could talk, it would have many, many, many stories to tell.
OK bitches, I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, wear your armor and STAY BEAUTIFUL!
A 27- year- old guy in Nebraska was serving two to four years in prison for shoplifting and criminal mischief. Instead of paying his societal debt, he decided, instead, to plan his escape. He managed to get out and was picked up by his girlfriend in her car... but as soon as they pulled away, they started arguing. His girlfriend got so mad that only 5 miles into the drive, she pulled over and kicked him out of the car. He was quickly re-arrested and taken back to prison... with new charges. Meanwhile, a realtor in Manhattan was listing an apartment online and uploaded seven pictures of the place. Unfortunately, he ALSO uploaded one picture of his penis... but he didn't realize it until he got a call from gawker.com. He claimed he was hacked... but he wasn't. On the bright side, he did manage to rent the apartment later that same day. Hope he told the renters that the place doesn't come with d*ck. Anyway, sometimes things just don't go as planned, and that is today's question: WHAT WAS THE PLAN... AND HOW DID IT GO HORRIBLY WRONG?
Went to Alaska to take a job as a fisherman... instead, he got into 3 separate shipwrecks
Planned to get married, have kids and retire early... instead, he was arrested for voyeurism, had to register as a sex offender and is now divorced
Planned on being single until he was 30... instead, he was/ is married and has 4 kids. Well done
Earlier today, he tried to change the oil in his truck... instead, he drained all of his TRANSMISSION fluid. Waiting for a ride to the auto shop to get tranny fluid
Tried to impress a girl on his bike, but he just ended up flipping over the handle bars and breaking his wrist. Impressive
Got off of his scooter (which he rides with his legs crossed 'Indian style') walked into the gym and flirted confidently with the hot girls at the front desk... didn't realize until later that he still had his helmet on
Stole weed from the dealer's house... ran outside and hopped in the wrong car
Strung a bunch of fireworks together to blow up a fire ant nest... the nest blew up, but the (now angry) ants came raining down on her and her cousins. They were all bitten numerous times
He and two of his buddies all had simultaneous sex with one horny young woman (Devil's 4-way) and all of them used condoms... which is good, except that the promiscuous ho they were shagging was allergic to latex. She went into convulsions and had to be taken to the hospital
Happy Monday, bitches. It's Random Question day and I never review all of the different Q&A that goes on with that... and today is no exception.
Instead, I'll take this opportunity to pay homage to Raymond Lee Cox. Who is Raymond Lee Cox? That would be my uncle who, I found out early this morning, died a little earlier in the morning. Raymond was "that" uncle... the one who required an explanation/ warning before you introduced him to someone. He had a head of cement and a heart of gold. You know the type. Here are a few examples of the cement head/ gold heart scenario:
He was a pall bearer at a close friend's funeral and was the only one of the six coffin carriers not in a black suit. Worse, he was in a green suit. Who even owns a green suit? Anyway, his brother (my other uncle) pulled him aside and read him the riot act for looking so ridiculous at a serious event. Raymond responded that he'd let a friend borrow his one black suit. The 'other' uncle wanted to know just who the f**k he lent his suit to, so Raymond pointed at the casket.
More recently, he decided that it was of the utmost importance to him to buy a Christmas gift for my daughter when she was born. At her first Christmas, she was about 5 or 6 weeks old... and THAT'S why Raymond bought her a $25 gift card to Red Lobster for her. (???)
However, this is the same guy who gave me $10 toward the $11 purchase of a sh*tty tape recorder when I was about 8- years- old. See, I wanted to be on the radio back then and all of the other adults laughed it off as a phase, but Raymond ponied up the bulk of the cash so that I could pursue this whole radio thing. That's what I remember about him most. Maybe he didn't have a head of cement after all?
Alright bitches, I'm done for the day. Bunch of phone calls to make and such.
Until tomorrow, high- 5 the handless and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Former Rolling Stone bassist Bill Wyman recently confessed that the band used to forge each other's autograph. It wasn't a joke they were pulling, it was a time management thing anytime they could sign stuff out of public view. So, if you have autographed Stone's memorabilia, but you didn't see them sign it, it may have been signed by A band member... 5 different ways. That's OK, according to a new survey (there's always a 'new' survey) one- in- four women aren't sure that the man raising their child is actually the father. Ironically, on a first date, 68% of people worry about making sure that the other person really is who they say they are. And, apparently, more than half of people who attend music festivals go for the sex and drugs... not the music. So, maybe you've faked a degree or lied on your resume or maybe you're NOT an astronaut... today we wanted to know: WHAT ARE YOU OK WITH PEOPLE BELIEVING ABOUT YOU EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT TRUE?
Yeaaaaaaaaa... for the third of the five days of WEED WEEK! here in the Men's Room, I was the lucky winner to have their name drawn. So like Monday and yesterday, I did today's show stoned outta my mind. Little better prepared than I was yesterday... which is ridiculous since I was stoned Monday too. Anyway, for me personally,WEED WEEK! has been outstanding. Hope you enjoyed it too.
The weekend is calling my name, bitches.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Maybe you remember the Taco Bell employee who was fired recently after pictures were posted on-line of him licking a stack of taco shells. Taco Bell, for it's part, says they're fairly reassured that the picture was just a prank and "that none of those shell were served to customers". Maybe. I worked in restaurants for 12 years, and in my experience... Well, now it's Wendy's turn for this kind of thing. One of their employees was photographed drinking a Frosty directly from the machine. He's been fired... understandably... but these things happen, and they happen more than any of us would be comfortable knowing. The reason we don't hear about it is because most people don't photograph themselves doing it. We all have examples from our own pasts. IF IT WAS ON VIDEO, I WOULD HAVE BEEN FIRED FOR THE TIME I DID __________.
Smoked weed on the roof of the restaurant he managed every Sunday... during brunch
Sold weed and gave free gas to buddies when he pumped back in Oregon
Would have been fired the time he nailed the boss's 16- year- old daughter on his desk (he was 17 at the time)... while the boss was out having lunch... with his wife
Had sex with a random chick in the liquor room at a club he worked at... on duty. Wouldn't have gotten fired for having sex, he would have gotten fired for having a woman under the age of 21 in the liquor room
Masturbating in the break room
Sucked all the nitrous out of the whip cream at the bowling alley he worked at
Got a hand job from a temp at his previous place of employ
She worked as a receptionist and if things were 'slow', she'd sit at her desk and masturbate. I'd hire her!
Worked as a cable installer and once took a sh*t in someone's back yard during the job
There were plenty more stories but, frankly, it's getting late.
Oh yea... I was the stoned one today as we continue the celebration we're calling "Weed Week". Little crazy at the top of the show, but once you start flowing, it's all good. Or maybe I just think that. Too high to know.
Until tomorrow, keep it stinky and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
So, we've all heard that inmates make license plates. I don't know if it's true or not, but it's one of those things you always here. What you DON'T hear are the OTHER things inmates make. Ever buy lingerie from Victoria's Secret? There's a chance that an inmate made it. Seriously. Are you in the military? There's a very good chance that an inmate made your uniform. We have a list of 10 products you didn't know were made by inmates, and true to it's title, we didn't know. However, it got us thinking; almost everyone has some secret ability that most people don't know about, whether it's being able to tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue or being able to belch the alphabet backwards. Today we wanted to know: WHAT SECRET SKILL OR ABILITY DO YOU HAVE?
Aw sh*t. Man, I totally spaced today, amigos. My bad.
According to a new study, women aren't fully mature, mentally, until age 32, while us guys don't fully mature until age 43. I'm not entirely sure I agree the working definition of 'immature behavior' provided by the study, but maybe that's because I'm immature. Based on the study's list, immaturity can be summed up as 'losing one's sense of humor', and/ or 'losing the desire to have fun'. Regardless, it seems that most of us reach that point by a certain, average age. Ever been told "act your age"? If so, you can answer today's question: WHAT IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF HOW YOU DON'T ACT YOUR AGE?
He's 24 and still wants to egg houses... on some level, I completely understood, but then he added that he wanted 'relive the high school days' and it just became sad. I don't say that as an insult, I say that because it really was sad
He's 38 and still gets blackout drunk from time to time. I'd like to say that's immature (maybe it is) but I can relate
He's 23 and loves cartoons
25 and loves Disney films... not Pixar, mind you, but Disney. I didn't like Disney flicks when I was a kid. They sang too much. Hate musicals. Don't know why, but they make me angry.
43... enjoys the playground; swings, jungle gyms and the monkey bars in particular
His 6- year- old nephew lives in a vegetarian household... but that didn't stop him from taking him to McDonald's to enjoy the processed wonders of fast food. The kid LOVED the french-fries... and ate them until he puked. Kid's mom was not pleased
Had his car painted to look like a Transformer... he's 38, and the car in question is his everyday car. Then we found out that he ALSO has a 'show me your t*ts' bumper sticker... so we let him know that the bumper sticker might be worse than the car
Dry- humps his wife A LOT. Gotta admit, that makes me smile
Just watched the Transformers cartoon... on DVD
21 and has already QUIT drinking. Started when he was 14- years- old and went hard
SIT AND SPIN
In honor of "Weed Week" here in the Men's Room (it was Ben today, by the way) Jolene brought us the 'Greatest Stoner Albums', according to Rolling Stone. I think the folks at Rolling Stone would know. Just sayin'.
Anyway, here's a link to the stoner soundtrack:
Alright bitches, that's it for the day. I enjoyed your company.
Until tomorrow, rise like the Sun and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Today is Monday, so we did the Random Question... so, as is always the case, I'll just ramble on about something else entirely.
Oh yea... it's "Weed Week" on the Men's Room all week. Each day before the show this week, a name will be pulled at random from a hat (it's a cup, actually) by a random person. Whoever's name is pulled will get completely baked before we go on the air, and then we'll see if you, dear listener, can figure out which one of us is stoned to the bee- Jesus.
See, on Friday's show, I had the f%$king hiccups as we went on the air. When I get the hiccups it's a 2 to 3 day affair, and the only thing I've discovered to get rid of them is weed. Thing is, I try not to get completely baked before we go on the air. After I mentioned this, Miles asked, "would anyone be able to tell the difference?" To find the answer to this profound question, we came up with "Weed Week"... explained above.
So today was the start of it, and as luck would have it, MY name was pulled from the hat (which, again, is really just a cup). Anyway, as I write this, I'm very, very, very stoned. Word is, I partook of Alaskan Thunder- F**k.
Anyway, I'm high and it's been awesome. Just finished a bag of Doritos.
A statistician at North Carolina State University decided to analyze different words and/ or pronunciations that different parts of the country use to describe the same thing. You already know most of the words and have probably had arguments of your own. Is it 'CAR- mill' or 'CARA- mel'? Is it 'pick- ON' or 'PEE- can'? Why do some people call it a 'faucet' while others call it a 'spicket'? And is it a 'rotary', a 'traffic circle' or a 'roundabout'? In honor of bassist Chris Squire and his dope- ass bass line, I call it a 'roundabout'. Do you drink soda, pop, soda- pop or 'a coke'? For the most part, how you say anything depends where you were raised, how you were raised and when you were raised. Today we wanted to find your inner hillbilly or urban trubador and find out WHAT DO YOU SAY DIFFERENTLY... AND WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
Thanks to my mother, I've always called 'oysters', 'oySH- ters'. Finally getting a handle on that.
As for some of you:
Crayons is pronounced '
Almonds... pronounces it 'AH- mands'... blames his father
Mountain is pronounced 'mou'in'... and I have no f**king idea why
He's from Louisiana ("looosianna... ah, ah, ah!") so instead of a 'Laundromat', it's a 'wash- a- teria' and he doesn't go to the supermarket to 'get groceries', he goes to 'make groceries'
A large amount of something is a "grip"
Has always pronounced 'thrift store' 'DRIFT store'... his mother is Swiss, so it's her fault
As his wife is from Dallas, he says "howdy y'all" and any non- alcoholic beverage is 'a coke'
From Hawaii, so he calls flip- flops 'slippers'. also hear people call them 'thongs'
Referring to the car or the large cat, he says 'jag- you- arr' as opposed to 'jaguar'
OK bitches, the weekend is here and I'm ready to get it started. Tune in next week when the Men's Room 'goes green'. It's an experiment we're gonna try to see if you, the listener, can identify which one of us, on any given day, is stoned to high heaven. Good times.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
117 years ago today, in 1896, two bored fishermen, George Harbo and Frank Samuelson, decided that they wanted to see if they could ROW across the Atlantic Ocean. No motors or sails, just elbow grease. It took 55 days, but they completed the 3000- mile trip from New York to England. If you watched the 'Billboard Music Awards' last month (sorry) you probably saw Miguel (whoever he is, exactly) stage- dive during his performance and crush some broad in the audience. Apparently, he'd been practicing his stage- dive during rehearsals, but when it was 'go- time', he screwed it up and now faces a possible lawsuit from the 'injured' woman. As a rock purist, I'd argue that if you PRACTICE stage dives, you're not someone who should stage- dive. Save that kind of thing for the professionals. Meanwhile, in Arizona, a teen is recovering after breaking both of her feet and being confined to a wheelchair for the next few weeks. See, her friend jumped off of a roof and into a pool. She decided to give it a try too... problem is, she landed feet- first on CONCRETE... missing the pool altogether. Her mom videotaped the whole thing and posted it to YouTube. And if the rumors are true, Leonardo DiCaprio had sex with seven different women during the Cannes Film Festival. If it's true, we're guessing that Leo did it specifically because he could... and sometimes that's the best reason of all... and sometimes it's the worst. WHAT DID YOU DO JUST TO SEE IF YOU COULD DO IT... AND COULD YOU DO IT?
Jumped off of a bridge into a river at night... something I wouldn't do unless I was trying to avoid the police
Jumped off a roof and into a pool at the country club he worked at... made it successfully, however, he still split his head open. Turns out that water, while more forgiving than say, concrete, still hurts
Jumped off the Mountlake Bridge to impress a girl... he's done it a few more times since then, but on his last attempt, he very nearly landed in a canoe
Asked out a bikini barista... she threw a coffee (iced) in his face as a response
Jumped off of a roof into a trampoline... bounced OUT of the trampoline and slammed into the ground
Tried to do a wheelie on his father's motorcycle... didn't work so well, and by 'so well', I mean, 'not at all'
Renewed his drivers' license... glued on a fake beard and wrapped a turban around his head... and it is the CURRENT picture on his license. He sent us a picture of it and it is priceless. One of the funniest things I've seen. Makes it better because he's blonde
Attempted to take pictures of bears in their natural habitat... ended up being chased by the bears
Wanted to see if a car could tow him while he was in his wheelchair. Well, yea, the car could easily tow his wheelchair, however, his wheelchair couldn't take the turns at the same speed as the car. That was a problem, but the bright side is that he was ALREADY in a wheelchair, so, you know
Ran across the field at Safeco when he was 15... made it all the way across, but was tackled in the stands by a "300 pound Samoan"... person, not cookie
Joined the 100 club... drank 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes. I made it to about 75 before I had to throw in the towel... or pass out. Can't remember which
Stole the lights off the top of a state Patrol car... still has them 19 years later
It's been real, bitches, but alas, I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, wipe after you go and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
A Los Angeles- area attorney was arrested in Vegas after he, single- handedly, trashed a luxury suite at a hotel. The broken furniture, stained carpets, shattered glass and broken bed cost about $100,000. He doesn't remember doing it, of course, because he was super- drunk. Meanwhile, a 28- year-old man in Serbia ALSO got super- drunk... and THAT'S why he doesn't remember climbing halfway up a 70- foot- high bridge and going to sleep on a 4-foot wide girder. Authorities, very quietly, rescued him. Anyone who's ever had too much to drink, suffered a concussion or had a massive adrenaline rush knows that odd feeling when you have no idea how you got to where you are. Hopefully there's someone around to help fill in the blanks... thus, our question: ALTHOUGH I DON'T REMEMBER, MY FRIEND TOLD ME I ______________.
Woke up in the drunk tank downtown after going to the Solstice Parade in Freemont
Passed out at a party in Granite Falls, but woke up in his bed, 10 miles away in Marysville
Went to Aruba with $500 in his pocket... woke up three DAYS later with $20,000 in his pocket. Apparently, he won big ($56,000) at a casino and spent the next three days blowing through $36,000 via partying. Doesn't remember ANY of it
Peed in his friend's work locker
Camping... fell INTO the fire, picked a fight AND got dumped by his girlfriend all in one night
Went out on a Friday night in Germany... woke up on Sunday... in Spain
Had a 3- way with two hot chicks and doesn't remember a single thing. That's the worst
Danced with a bunch of hotties at a bar, fell all over the dance floor and walked around the bar naked. The aristocrats
Got into a fight with his woman, passed out, but woke up long enough to pee on her and her bed... how did the girlfriend react? They're married now
First time he met his girlfriend's parents, he got piss- drunk and a little outta control, so she put in the shower... he ran out naked to say goodbye to her parents... not that he remembers. On the bright side, that was 8 years ago and they're still together
OK bitches, I'm outta here. Have yourselves a fine evening.
Until tomorrow, stare at strangers and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Michael Douglas, the man who claims to have gotten throat cancer as a result of performing cunnilingus with someone infected with HPV, is now saying that he DIDN'T say that... in spite of being on TAPE saying EXACTLY that. Anyway, faulty science aside, everyone started speculating whose nether- regions Michael was referring to. His ex- wife, Diandra, has already issued a statement that her vagina is free of HPV, so SHE'S not responsible. That marks the first time we know of a press release about a vagina, but I guess she had to defend herself. Justin Timberlake had to defend the size of his penis after breaking up with Brittney Spears, Usher had to fight rumors that he was a drug addict after his divorce and Paul McCartney was labeled "physically abusive" during his divorce from Heather Mills... and all of that might be true, but, let's face it, as break- ups are generally ugly and emotional, so are the rumors about you when it's all going down. With that in mind: WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SET STRAIGHT FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP?
Regardless of what his ex- wife says, he is NOT gay!
He would like everyone to know that he doesn't still hate his ex for walking out. Most of us hate them because they stuck around!!!
He was not responsible for the other's drug relapse
On a dare, he got a Brazilian. A few days later a woman saw it, when it was bumpy and growing back, but she interpreted the bumps as being Herpes
Wants to make it clear that he didn't stay with his ex and additional 2 months because he couldn't bring himself to leave... he stayed for two additional months because the sex was fantastic
He's STILL not sure if the kid his ex had 14 years ago is his
He never spread rumors that his ex was gay... it's when she started dating other women that people figured it out
She's white, her ex is black... when they broke up, he accused her of and spread rumors about her being a racist. In spite of the obvious flaw in his theory, people believed him
He would like it if his ex would stop saying that he hit her
SIT AND SPIN
Ever wonder what the artists you enjoy say about you as a person? Me neither, but that didn't stop Jolene from sharing with us the 'personality traits of fans' of certain types or music or of certain bands. Here's the link for you to see if you agree: