BJ Shea
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Thrill

 
Posts from September 2013


SHOW # 1798 SEPTEMBER 26 2013
"Hola,
 
Although the drug has been big in Russia for the last 10 years, a drug called 'krokodil' (pronounced 'crocodile) is making its first appearance in the states... namely Arizona.  Basically, it's codeine mixed with something like GASOLINE or PAINT THINNER or OIL... and then it's INJECTED directly into the vein.  And yes, it's as bad of an idea as it sounds.  It's a flesh- eating drug (because, as it turns out, paint thinner does a number when it's inside of your body) but before your skin falls off of your bones, it turns green and gets scaly... hence the name.  If you're squeamish, don't click the link, it's right over there but seriously, don't  click the link.   Armed with this knowledge,  people choose to inject it anyway... and all of them live to regret it... or die.  On the subject of regrets, we also had a list of the 'phases' that people went through in their younger days that still make them cringe; whether it was a hairstyle, a nickname or an affiliation.  These things happen, and they led to today's question:  WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU'D NEVER TRIED OR DONE?
 
Crack and heroin... kicked crack, but has been knee- deep in the H for 5 years. 
 
Tried to climb into a 2nd story window when he was drunk.  Fell and broke his leg
 
Wishes she wasn't such a slut as a teen
 
Salvia... even though the trip only lasted about 5 minutes, says it was a bad trip
 
Had sex on 'shrooms (which I'm a fan of) but says it wasn't such a good idea
 
Drink and drive... like EVERYONE who I've ever heard make this claim, it has nothing to do with the drinking and driving, but everything to do with getting busted and paying the price
 
Sure, she was on meth, and yea, she was f**king her dealer, but what she regrets is kidnapping the two guys who broke into the dealer's apartment.  Like the drinking and driving thing, the regret was the social debt she incurred after getting busted
 
Wishes he'd never started playing World of Warcraft because it's a time- consuming, soul draining hobby
 
OK, that's all I've got today.  Frankly, I have to pee and I'd like to think that by the time you read this, I'll have done it.
 
Until tomorrow, deny all and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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Locations: Arizona




 
SHOW # 1797 SEPTEMBER 25 2013
"Hola,
 
Customers who bought the 20- year reissue of Nirvana's "In Utero" at Silver Platters Records ALSO got a free tattoo of the Nirvana smiley- face logo.  You didn't HAVE to get the tattoo, but if you're a Nirvana super- fan, the opportunity was there to prove your devotion.  Earlier this week, Apple fan- boys proved their (somewhat misplaced) devotion to the latest iPhone by waiting in line overnight.  Camping out the day before a new iPhone release has become par for the course, but you can't doubt their allegiance.  It's like going to a new Star Wars movie, or Star Trek or Harry Potter or the Avengers; a lot of people go, but the guy dressed like Mr. Spock or Thor or Chewbacca... that's the real fan.  Today's question:  WHAT PROVES THAT YOU ARE A SUPER- FAN?
 
Makes his own costumes for Comic- Con... did a Mr. Freeze costume (Batman enemy) complete with refrigeration
 
Rob Zombie and Korn... got their autographs on her body and then had them tattoed
 
The show Firefly... has a ton of memorabilia and is about to get a 'Brown Coats' tattoo.  Yes, there was a theme today; tattoos are the ultimate proof of your devotion
 
KISW... listens to the station about 10 hours a day
 
Our show... has stickers of our logo all over the inside of his work truck
 
The Dallas Mavericks... has their logo tattooed on his leg
 
The 'Wizard of Oz'... she even wanted to name her daughter Glenda (the good witch), but her husband, mercifully, put the kybosh on it
 
Has an in- ground pool in the shape of the Rolling Stones lips and tongue logo.  THAT is dedication
 
He's a fan of the Mariners... he even (foolishly) makes a $50 bet each year with his brother that the Mariners will finish .500 or better.  He openly admits that he loses way more than he wins
 
OK amigos, I'm outta here like Vladimir... whoever Vladimir is. 
 
Oh yea, I've posted pictures of my daughter's furniture "art" for your viewing pleasure.  I got a lot of response (positive) after ranting about her desire to write on everything in my house, so, as requested, I've included a small sample of her efforts.
 
Until tomorrow, rock it like you love it and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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Topics: Human Interest
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People: GlendaRob ZombieSpock




 
The Masterpieces of the Thrill household
"So, on yesterday's show, I was bitchin' about my daughter's need to express her 'artistic' side in permanent ink on my furniture.  I was asked what it is she's drawing.  Well, I have no f**king idea, so, as promised, here are a few samples of her work.  You tell me what the hell you think it is she's trying to express."









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Topics: Human Interest
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SHOW # 1796 SEPTEMBER 24 2013
"Hola,
 
Miles does not, and never has, had sex with his mother or sister... and he's from West Virginia.  I smoke Marlboro Reds, not Newport's or Kool's... and I'm black.  Ted is not a silver spoon- fed kid... even though he's white and from the 'burbs of Washington DC.  And Ben has never, to the best of our knowledge, had sex with an animal... even though he's from Washington state.  Washington, if you don't know, ranks the highest in the country in reports of bestiality.  Don't feel bad (well, not too bad) because we had a list of each state and what they're the worst at.  We also had a list of the sexiest states (no, we didn't make the top 10... or the bottom 10, for that matter).  The thing is, people make assumptions about you based on where you're from, what you do for a living, how you dress, what your name is and the company you keep.  Sometimes these things give a clear indication into your character, but more often than not, these things are misleading, and that's the basis of today's question:  THROUGH NO FAULT OF YOUR OWN, WHAT DO PEOPLE ASSUME TO BE TRUE ABOUT YOU?
 
People assume he likes to argue because he's in law school
 
People think he's in the military because he has the look of someone in the military
 
Both of his parents were doctors, so everyone assumes he was spoiled growing up.  I just assume he was really, really good at the game Operation
 
Yes, he's tall, but he does not play basketball.  Seems that height is the only requirement to play basketball
 
Even though he's from Bellevue, he grew up poor.  No one believes him
 
He's Kenyan, so everyone thinks he can run really fast.  I just figured he could run really FAR.  Incidentally, the first place her lived in America was Arkansas and he "liked" it about as much as you'd think
 
She has a lot of tattoos, so everyone assumes she's a bad mom.  I'm sure she's a bad mom for some other reason
 
People assume she cheats on her husband when he's on deployment
 
He's a cop, so everyone thinks he's a corrupt assh*le.  He's not corrupt!
 
Female landscaper... works with another woman and everyone thinks that they're lesbians
 
He's a big guy (300 pounds) and sounds 'angry', so everyone thinks he's an angry dude.  Then again, he's from Flint, Michigan, so THATS why he should be angry
 
OK bitches, I'm outta this biznitch.  Oh, and thank you spellcheck for letting me know that 'biznitch' is not a word.  What would I do without you?
 
Until tomorrow, lay your head on concrete and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
 

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Locations: ArkansasFlintMichiganNewportWashington DcWest Virginia




 
SHOW # 1793 SEPTEMBER 19 2013
"Hola,
 
There's a time in everyone's life when we're pretty sure we've hit rock bottom or we just think we're pathetic in general.  Take Jon Gosselin, ex- husband of the soulless Kate and father of the 8 kids they whored out for money.  Now that their 15 minutes are over and they have to make an honest living, Jon got the one job made available to him; he waits tables in Beckersville, Pennsylvania at a place called the Black Dog.  This is the same guy who single- handedly made Ed Hardy's clothing line uncool... according to Ed Hardy!  To be fair, Jon Gosselin has always seemed pathetic, so no surprises here.  However, a random woman who asked syndicated columnist 'Dear Prudence' IS surprised how desperate she's become.  In a nutshell, she divorced her husband of 6 years a few months ago and is now suffering from acute loneliness.  Says she cries after pleasuring herself because it reminds her that she's lonely.  Even more disturbing, she now shaves only one leg so when she lays in bed at night, it feels like there's a man next to her.  ???  Seriously.  Leads to today's question:  I CAN LAUGH AT IT NOW, BUT IT WAS PRETTY PATHETIC THE TIME I DID ____________.
 
Was ashamed of being part of the 'robotics team' in high school... and we understood why.  Still smarter than any of us, though. 
 
Got drunk and locked the keys of the designated driver in the running car... cops had to come and slim jim the car... then he puked on the cop
 
Got drunk and had a flaming shot (of Everclear, if it matters)... misjudged where his mouth was located on his face and ended up dumping liquid fire over his head.  Lost half of his hair and burned his eyelids
 
Woke up after a night of drinking covered in barbeque sauce... discovered a puppy (that wasn't his) in his closet... ALSO covered in barbecue sauce
 
When he was about 7, he thought there was a marble stuck in the can of spray paint, so he punctured the can and blasted while paint all over his face
 
Built a zip line from a tree house... crashed into the tree at the other end.  Cracked his sternum, but didn't go to the hospital because, frankly, his penis was fine
 
Broke her ankle dancing... alone
 
OK bitches, I'm headed to greener pastures... which is entirely untrue.  I'm just done with the Big Brown Blog
 
Until tomorrow, up your irons and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
 

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Locations: BeckersvillePennsylvania
People: Jon Gosselin




 
SHOW # #1792 SEPTEMBER 18 2013
"Hola,
 
In case you missed yesterday's "shot of the day" (5 pm, Monday through Friday) featured a guy with no teeth who was convicted of 'biting' his neighbor's penis following an argument... with his gums.  Pretty standard fodder for the 'shot of the day', but, as it happens, the toothless junk- biter's name is Jason Martin.  About 2 hours after delivering the 'shot of the day', we went to a bar and met a guy named... you guessed it... Jason Martin.  He let me know that he received plenty of texts and emails asking if he was Jason in the story.  They were joking, of course, but, as he pointed out, no one, including him, wants to share a name with anyone ever honored during the 'shot of the day'.... or a serial killer, child molester, murderer, etc.  There are worse things that can happen, even though they're no fault of your own.  A guy with a striking resemblance to George Zimmerman almost got the sh*t kicked out of him in a black neighborhood.  The bigger problem is, he still looks like George Zimmerman... and that's not a good thing because George is ugly.  Today we wanted to know:  WHAT ABOUT BEING YOU IS A PAIN IN THE ASS?
 
His last name is Hanson... even worse, he was in grade school when the band was "big"
 
Works hard and never gets a raise... he didn't think it had anything to do with his heroin use
 
She married a guy with the last name 'Batman', and yes, it pronounced like the super hero.  Been married for 13 years, so she's used to it, but her daughter already asked how old you have to be to legally change your name
 
He's 5 feet, 1 inch tall.  Thing is, he was a normal sized kid until 7th grade; that's when the growing stopped and the ridicule began. 
 
His last name is Abbot, which isn't so bad, but his good friend's name is Costello.  True
 
Has the occasional seizure... on medication now, so it's better, but it still sucks
 
Has high functioning Asperger’s Syndrome
 
Stutters when he gets angry, so no one takes him seriously... which makes him angrier... which makes him stutter more
 
Has PTSD, so large crowds and loud noise stress her out... and she's a sports reporter, so large crowds and lots of noise are the norm
 
OK bitches, that's a wrap. 
 
Until tomorrow, keep it sexy and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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People: BeenGeorge ZimmermanJason Martin




 
SHOW # 1790 SEPTEMBER 17 2013
"Hola,
 
Ever heard of 'Castoreum'?  It's a vanilla- flavored substitute used in alcoholic beverages, baked goods, ice cream, pudding, gum and a bunch of other foods.  While it IS a vanilla substitute, castoreum falls under 'natural ingredients'... because 'castoreum' is the anal secretions of a beaver.  Seriously.  Makes L- Cystein seem downright pleasant.  What is L- Cystein?  That's just a fancy, food- speak way of saying 'human hair'.  If you've ever eaten fast food or a donut from a chain, you've eaten it.  And hell, red dye #4 is just beetle shells boiled in ammonia... and if you ever had a frappacino from Starbucks before 2012, you've enjoyed some boiled beetle shells.  Then there's these two award- winning archaeologists who each swallowed a dead shrew... whole... then analyzed their own poop to see which shrew bones dissolved and which ones didn't.  We've all eaten or ingested something less- than- awesome... sometimes on purpose, sometimes by accident.  It leads to today's question:  OTHER THAN ALCOHOL, WHAT WENT INTO YOUR SYSTEM AND HOW LONG DID IT TAKE TO COME UP OR COME OUT?
 
Swallowed a dime on a $5.oo bet... pooped it out 4 days later
 
Washing chicken at a restaurant... some of the water splashed into his mouth and made him sick for days
 
Swallowed her tongue ring... kept thinking she'd find it in her stool... never did
 
Ate a moldy sweet potato pie... didn't see the mold... but his body responded by throwing it up faster than it had gone down
 
His brother shot him in the lip with a BB gun when he was 8... it went through his lip and lodged into his jawbone... didn't know that until he was 12 and went to the dentist
 
Snorted Fun Dip candy... 2 days of burning and purple snot.  The purple snot is kinda cool
 
In spite of the fact that the ribs had been sitting out for 2 DAYS in 80 degree weather, he was hungry and ate them anyway... when he felt a maggot in his mustache, he got sick
 
Her son put Old Spice in a sinus spray... her boyfriend sprayed it into his nose and hilarity did NOT ensue
 
SIT AND SPIN
Jolene brought us "10 Celebrities You Didn't Know Released Albums"... and after listening, we know WHY you didn't know.  Ever heard Joe Pesci rap?  No?  Yea, we hadn't either, but that's just a small example of the 'goodness' Jolene had in store.  Here's a link to more of that 'goodness':
 
OK bitches, I'm outta here like the stratosphere.
 
Until tomorrow, keep your fingers out of there and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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People: Joe Pesci




 
SHOW # 1788 SEPTEMBER 12 2013
"Hola,
 
Yesterday was the 12th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks and, accordingly, there were all manner of tributes and observances around the country.  It was also an opportunity for 'truthers'... those who think 9/11 was an 'inside' job... to come out of the woodwork and express their beliefs again.  We're all entitled to our beliefs, of course.  Hell, there's 'birthers'; those people who are, as best I can tell, are unaware that Hawaii is a state, religious fanatics, Scientologists (what up Xenu?!?), etc.  Meanwhile, 61% of people believe in ghosts, 48% of people believe in UFO's (myself included), a guy in Kentucky is pretty damn sure he's shot and killed a chupracabra and Bigfoot just made his first 'appearance' in Nebraska.  We all have our beliefs... not all of them are 'out there'... it might something as simple as the best way to make a grilled cheese (grate your cheese first... trust me), the best smartphone, or which actor is best suited to play Batman on- screen.  Nevertheless, it doesn't make it any less annoying.  Today's question:  WHO'S ANNOYING BELIEF DO YOU KNOW YOU'LL HAVE TO HEAR EVERYTIME YOU SEE THEM?
 
His wife thinks Obama is the anti- Christ... for real
 
His buddy's girlfriend is vegan and it's an issue every time he sees her.  What is it with vegans?  You're vegan... good for you... whatever you need to do, but why do WE need to know or care?
 
His friend hates every single thing Obama does specifically because he just doesn't like Obama.  Isn't that how politics works now?
 
His 82- year- old mother tells him that 'General Hospital' is the "greatest show on TV"... EVERYDAY!
 
His buddy has a conspiracy theory about everything... and yes, the U.S. government is behind everything
 
His grandmother believes that anything you smoke or drink is the governments way of keeping you down.  If that's true, I'm as down as a man could be
 
His mother and sister are always going on about the Bible
 
KASEY KELLER
Your former Sounders goal keeper joined us in studio today.  Cool, cool guy.  Not very popular in Cologne, Germany... but that's another story for another day.
 
I'm outta here. 
 
Until tomorrow, eat it and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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Locations: CologneHawaiiKentuckyNebraska
People: KASEY KELLER




 
SHOW # 1787 SEPTEMBER 11 2013
"Hola,
 
A Seattle woman is facing assault charges after she stabbed the girlfriend of her ADULT son when she found them in bed together... presumably, doing the dirty.  We're not entirely sure what led to the stabbing, other than the mother saying she felt "disrespected"... which, between you and me, is one of the most annoying and tired statements on this earth.  Nevertheless, the girlfriend was caught in the sack and stabbed.  On a side note, the cops went to the same home earlier the same day when the son was shot in the leg.  Meanwhile, a college professor at Northwest Missouri State University posted a joke on Facebook about shooting up the school.  MOST people recognize that joking about shooting up a school is going to get you a visit by local law enforcement... MOST people.  Not this genus... and college professor.  Anyway, the cops did show up at his house and, after some explanation, they believed that he was joking.  However, while they were there, they noticed his massive marijuana grow operation... so he got busted for that.  Brilliant.  We've all gotten busted doing something and faced the consequences.  WHO CAUGHT YOU... AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
 
Got caught smoking pot by his parents... they called the cops
 
Threw a party at a hotel, pulled the fire extinguisher off the wall and doused his friend with it... was visited by the police
 
Busted peeing on a tree outside of the state capital
 
When he was 16, his girlfriend invited him to church... they had sex in the 'youth room'... the pastor walked in and busted them
 
There were a ton more answers, but they really weren't that great today, so...
 
I'm outta here bitches!
 
Until tomorrow, I'm still alive, so STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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Locations: Northwest Missouri




 
SHOW # 1786 SEPTEMBER 10 2013
"Hola,
 
It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from or how you were raised, you have one thing in common with every single person around you; you're f**king weird.  It's a fact of life.  Granted, some people are weirder than others, but all of us have some kind of quirk.  You might not THINK you do, but you do.  If you're in a relationship, there's a solid chance that your significant other has pointed it out to you.  If you're lucky enough to be single, think of it like this; other than bathroom visits, if there were cameras in your house recording your every move, what do you think people would comment on the most?  A quirk can be something as innocuous as singing in the shower or as certifiable as only eating soup from red bowls.  We've all got our things, whatever they might be, so today we asked:  WHAT QUIRK ARE YOU WILLING TO ADMIT TO AND WHAT QUIRK FROM SOMEONE ELSE DRIVES YOU NUTS?
 
Talks to himself in public
 
Stops everything when he has to fart.  Pretty sure everyone does... or should, anyway
 
Never mixes his Skittles... eats them one color at a time
 
Buys all local bands on CD or vinyl, all other bands are Mp3
 
Chews on random objects all day... I do too
 
Will only eat breakfast food at breakfast time and gets angry when other people do.  He'd hate me
 
Doesn't like the food on his plate to touch the other food on his plate.  I'm like that at Thanksgiving
 
Cuts his toenails until they bleed.  WTF?
 
His friend microwaves all food first, then puts it in the conventional oven
 
She only wears panties if she's wearing a dress or a skirt... or on her period.  All other times, she's panty less
 
SIT AND SPIN
 
Jolene brought us the Top ten Stripper Songs of All Time.  Yea, that one is on there... that one too.  Here's a link:
 
OK bitches, I'm outta here.
 
Until tomorrow, we are the champions, so STAY BEAUTIFUL!"



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SHOW # 1784 SEPTEMBER 5 2013
"Hola,
 
So, online dating is nothing new anymore, but you don't expect celebrities or professional athletes to go down that path.  That didn't stop Andre Drummond, of the Detroit Pistons, from shooting a Tweet to iCarly actress Jennette McCurdy asking for a date.  It worked and now they're an "item".  Yea, I don't care either.  Meanwhile, over in England, a blind guy fell in love with a blind woman after meeting at a training class for their seeing- eye dogs.  Apparently, the dogs fell in love with each other first... always seeking each other out, hating to be separated, etc... and as a result, the couple started spending more time together, fell in love, and now they're engaged to be married.  On the other end of the spectrum, Clint Eastwood is in the process of getting a divorce.  His soon to be ex- wife is now back with her high school boyfriend, but don't feel bad for Clint because he's busy getting smooth up in that guy's ex- wife.  Sometimes these things happen... I guess... but they lead to today's question:  WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST WAY YOU'VE MET SOMEONE?
 
Got a little sidetracked today, so I don't have a lot of answers to share with you, but there was one that really sticks in the memory:  a woman met her boyfriend through her father's ex- wife... her former step- mother.  Follow along; her boyfriend is her former step mother's SON... and no, they didn't live together... they were already grown when their parents met.  Anyway, her father gets divorced from step- mom and marries a new woman.  The new woman is the DAUGHTER of former step mom and the SISTER of her current boy friend.  Her father has since divorced the daughter. 
 
Yea.
 
We also talked to Perry Farrell from Jane's Addiction today.  This is our second time chatting with Perry and the guy f**king rocks.  Seriously.  Funny, chill, good story teller, etc.  I only bring this up because when we first interviewed him, we thought he would suck.  Now, understand, we mean suck as an interview, not as a person.  Based on his music and lyrics, we thought he'd be a moody, weird buzzkill.  We couldn't have been more wrong.  Perry is a cool mother**ker. 
 
Alright bitches, we won't be here tomorrow as we will be at the Gorge for Pain in the Grass.  We hope to see you there.
 
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
 

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SHOW # 1783 SEPTEMBER 4 2013
"Hola,
 
So, it was two or three weeks ago that Ben Affleck was announced as the latest Batman for an upcoming 'Batman vs Superman' movie in the works.  People freaked out... even started an online petition to find a different actor... because this type of thing is 'important'.  Last week (I think), the world freaked out because Miley Cyrus acted like Miley Cyrus on an awards show that encourages people like Miley Cyrus to act like Miley Cyrus.  I'm talking, of course, about her 'twerking' performance at the VMA's.  What's America's latest outrage?  Well, the horny housewives that read '50 Shades of Grey' have made it very clear that they're very unhappy with the recently announced casting of the 2 main leads for the upcoming movie.  Yep... that's the sh*t that matters.  Today's question:  WHAT IS THE LEAST IMPORTANT THING THAT PISSES YOU OFF?
 
Works as a waitress and hates old people... as customers... not in general
 
Has OCD and gets very angry when people move things in his car.  Just the car?
 
The cost of a box of breakfast cereal.  Amen.
 
Is still disgusted that Tom Cruise played the role of 'Jack Reacher'... mostly because Cruise is about 5 foot 6
 
Hates crumbs in his butter
 
People who put the jelly on their PB&J before the peanut butter.  It doesn't make me mad, but to be fair, I always put the peanut butter on first myself.
 
Shopping carts left in parking spaces
 
Currently in rehab... for video game and internet addiction... and hates it.  Never met anyone who enjoyed rehab.  Might APPRECIATE it, but no one likes it
 
When people write checks in the express lane of a grocery store.  I'll add that I hate it when people (women 99% of the time) "think" they have exact change, dump the contents of their purse and after an extensive search, determine, "oh no, I don't have it". 
 
When people think Seattle is representative of the entire state of Washington
 
Chocolate chips in breakfast food.  Agree to disagree, friend!
 
"Unscripted" tv shows... mostly because they are very much scripted.  You want UNscripted, watch sports
 
The fact that the number of hot dog rolls never matches the number of hot dogs.  Good call!  And why the f**k is that?!?
 
When couples say "we're pregnant"... unless it's lesbians and both of them happen to pregnant
 
OK bitches, I'm outta here.  There were a TON more answers, but I have a work thingy I gotta do. 
 
Until tomorrow, don't stare at it, just touch it and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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SHOW #1782 SEPTEMBER 2013
"Hola,
 
There's something we call 'common sense' and this other thing we call 'common decency' and, frankly, when someone violates any of these things we get really f**king pissed off.  Most cases of road rage are directly related to someone ignoring our agreed upon rules of conduct, and irritates another driver so much that there's a confrontation.  Hell, even in war, you can shoot, blow up, stab and maim as many people as it takes to claim victory... but not with CHEMICAL weapons... Syria.  There are just certain things we believe everyone else should know, do or not do... and when they fail, we believe they are either rude or stupid... or both.  Just how it goes.  Once again we consulted the fine folks at www.reddit.com (and by 'consulted', I mean we clicked on the website) and found their list of "Eight Unwritten Rules Everyone Should Know".  The list is solid, but by stopping at eight things, woefully incomplete, so today we asked for your help:  WHAT DO YOU ASSUME EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW OR KNOW HOW TO DO?
 
How to 'talk down' an angry person.  Can't say I'm sure I'd do a good job.  I'm married and have failed for 6 years straight
 
Only one person in the revolving door (the actual slot) at a time... especially if it's a stranger
 
Don't touch a strange dog without permission
 
People should (but don't) know how to operate a shopping cart at a busy store
 
Don't state the obvious
 
Hold the door open for people.  Subsequently, say 'thank you' if they do
 
If you borrow something from someone, return it promptly and in the same condition
 
How airport security works... especially if you're gonna be at the f**king airport
 
Assumes that everyone knows what they want to order at McDonald's
 
How not to pee on the toilet seat AND how to flush the toilet when you're done
 
Signal when changing lanes... in other words, use the blinker for the specific purpose it was created
 
OK, I'm outta here.
 
Until tomorrow, stare until it's uncomfortable and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"

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