Today is the first day of "Weed Week!" What, you ask, is "Weed Week!"? In a nutshell, "Weed Week!", is the week where we, The Men's Room, allow one of us to get completely baked to the be- Jesus and then do the show. The catch is, we ask you to guess which one of us is the stoned one. Yea, it seems to work out better for us than you, but, well, sorry. Feel free to get high too.
So today is Monday, day one of our 'green' shows. As always (and by 'always', I mean the last time we did this... about 6 months ago) we put names in a hat. Whoever's name was drawn was today's stoner. Basic stuff.
While Ted received the most votes as the show member who seemed high, it was actually me today who was very, very stoned during the show. To be fair, I received the second most votes. However, to put into perspective how high I was, I forgot to post the blog... so when you see this, know that it's now Tuesday Morning... no longer Monday evening.
Maybe there is something to that whole forgetful thing.
Keep checking back all week for updates and links to any article we read during Weed Week
Welcome to Day 2 of "Weed Week!"
Sometimes, when you really, really have to go to the bathroom and you find yourself at the mercy of a public bathroom, few things prove to be more frustrating... or gut crippling... than a door that requires a punch- code to be unlocked. Happened to a guy early Sunday morning at the Francis Marion Hotel in downtown Charleston, South Carolina. He had to poop and he had to poop badly. Anyway, he repeatedly tried to get the code right, but he couldn't do it in time... so he pulled down his pants and pooped on the floor JUST outside of the bathroom. He was arrested and the police report states that "a large quantity of fecal matter" was observed. For his part, the pooper was genuinely remorseful, saying that he didn't mean to do it, he couldn't hold it (long enough to give the keypad another try) and that he'd clean it up. He spent the night in jail... and all he wanted to do was poop. He got SO close.
On a much more serious note, Frazier Cross, that's the former KKK p*ssy who opened fire at two separate Kansas City- area Jewish Center, murdering three people because he hates Jews, blah, blah, blah... well, none of the three people he murdered were Jewish. Small detail, but we know just eats Frazier up. Hard to be a martyr when you screw up. Today's question: WHAT DID YOU ALMOST ACHIEVE, BUT JUST DIDN'T?
SIT AND SPIN
Jolene contributed to "Weed Week!" by bringing us the 'top 10 stoner songs of all time'. Here's the link:
I agreed with some of the list, most of it, really, but with the caveat that I don't know how I'd rankthem, but they're (almost) all good songs to listen to when you're stoned.
Aw crap, did it again! Maybe it's because of "Weed Week!" , but I forgot to post this blog yesterday as well!"
Wednesday our head chef, Thee Ted Smith brought us a list of the 25 best stoner foods. No matter if you agree or dissagree, you will be hungrey by the end of this list.
There's a guy named Heath, and Heath joined an online dating service a few months ago. The long- and- short of his "dilemma" is this; he met a "beautiful" woman who, in his words, was "prefect"... she was hot AND has a good personality, but there's one thing he admits he just can't move past; she's missing a thumb. This really bugs Heath. Doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but in the pursuit of nookie, I've ignored smells, sounds, hair in unexpected places, terrifying moles and lazy eyes. Sometimes you just wanna get laid and it doesn't matter what that might entail. On that note, the folks at Reddit came up with this
Sometimes, when you're super- horny and you find that CAN scratch that itch, well, you tolerate some things that you'd normally find to be a deal- breaker. WHAT'S THE HARDEST THING YOU'VE HAD TO IGNORE IN THE PURSUIT OF SEX?
Went to a girl's house; she'd left a monster turd in the toilet
Beautiful woman, but she had an under- developed right hand
On a camping trip, his friend walked in, but the girl didn't notice, so he kept going
She had an extended tailbone, which is 'nice- speak for a f**king TAIL!
The girl he was with wanted her boyfriend to watch so he could learn 'good oral technique'. Says a lot
She endured a hairy- shouldered man with a small penis
Dealt with a "seriously cross- eyed" woman. I can't lie, and maybe I'll sound shallow and cruel, but I would laugh my ass off.
Had sex with his girlfriend in the car... while his friends were pounding on the windows wanting a ride
Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of hair... none of it on his head
She had a large and hairy mole just above her tailbone. He actually lost his erection... and he was in the process of losing his virginity!
She would hold her breath until she passed out. First time she did it, it freaked him out because he didn't know if she was dead or not
Beautiful girl "inside and out", as he put it... but she had a severe speech impediment and he couldn't deal
The girl he dated for awhile LAUGHED when she climaxed... that's what she told him, anyway