Joey "Deez" Blog "Doctor, Doctor"

October 3, 2016

Today's blog comes from one of my dad's mentor, Dan Sanders:

 

 

The trivia question for this week is, What was the name of the song about musicians and politics that was a hit for Johnny Cash in 1965?

 

I am not the kind of person who runs to the doctor for every shake or quiver. In fact, I am the type of person who is more likely to run the other way. There is something in medical jargon called “white coat syndrome," which is when blood pressure surges in a person with otherwise normal blood pressure when it’s measured in a doctor’s office. My blood pressure surges just thinking about the doctor’s office.

 

As a child, I use to get a lot of toothaches. Mark Twain said once that he always had some Scotch whiskey at night to prevent a toothache, stating that he had never had a toothache and intended never to have one. Obviously, as a ten-year-old child, my dad was not about to offer me a shot of his finest, but getting me inside a dentist office usually required my dad, my mom, and 6 or 7 neighbors to chase me down and put me in the car. My dad also learned that if I had a toothache when the dentist office was closed, all he had to do was drive me to the dentist’s parking lot and the pain would be gone faster than a deck of cards in David Copperfield’s hands.

 

I’ve always been a very active person. I played sports in high school and college, and until the last three months, I walked every morning for 3 or 4 miles at a pretty good clip. I’ve had to stop due to a torn meniscus, and a surgery date is scheduled, if they can get me out from under my bed. I do believe in good health care, and I see my doctor at least once a year for my annual checkup and she tells me I'm very healthy and will likely live to be 100. That hundred-year mark becomes less comforting as I get closer and closer to it.

 

This blog is not about my good health, however, and I mention these medical facts to show the contrast between my reluctance to visit a doctor and last Tuesday morning when I was in a cold sweat and locked in the throes of a full-blown panic attack, sure that I had gone crazy. I was having auditory hallucinations. My heart was pounding, and I was sure 100 would never be seen by me. Not only was I knocking on heaven’s door, but it was clear that I was going to lose my mind first. I couldn't wait to get to the phone and call my doctor, any doctor, maybe even run outside and flag down a passing car and insist they get me to the nearest emergency room.

 

Then I remembered that “50 million Frenchmen can’t be wrong.” Assuming there was some modicum of truth to that, I thought maybe I wasn’t the only one who heard Donald Trump say that he did not pay taxes and that made him smart and then almost in the same snort he denies ever saying that. Did you notice he has very annoying sinus issues along with his multitude of other issues (and I’ll not go into some of the speculations on that condition)? Maybe even one of the over 80 million viewers heard what I heard, and so I went to the Holy Grail, the Internet, and I was saved. Not only had others heard the statement but also the denial. They had also heard him claim to have had a defective microphone. I have a friend who works as a sound person in the control room of a major TV station in the Boston market, and he assured me that he also heard the statements and that there was nothing wrong with the “trumpeter’s” microphone. 

 

One last note on the lunacy from "The Donald": he said he would not participate in the remaining two debates if Hillary Clinton is there. He blasted the format of Monday night’s debate by claiming that the presence of Clinton was “specifically designed” to distract him from delivering his message to the American people. “Every time I said something, she would say something back,” he said. “It was rigged.” I can’t wait for this. It should be fun. Since he's likely a paranoid schizophrenic, he can debate himself and then deny everything. Now I'll go prevent a toothache.

 

In the podcast, I'll try and not get too much into my thoughts on the Donald vs Donald debate. I'll have the answer to the trivia question and as always some rock and roll news and history. Join me on the shores of Rambling Harbor.