Get Spooky With The King Of Dong Style At 3-2-1 Battle!

Jabroni Journal

October 19, 2017
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It's my favorite time of the year. Not only do I get to dress up in ridiculous costumes, eat a heinous amount of sugar-packed candy and watch all my favorite bloody horror films, it also happens to be a fairly new tradition in the world of Pacific Northwest underground wrestling to party hard at 3-2-1 Battle! 's Halloween-themed super-show "Horror Business." The event is going down this Friday night (October 20th) at Evolve Fitness. You can buy tickets and get directions here. 

That's right! No longer do you have to lay around in your Kane mask, sobbing quietly as you ask why Vince McMahon hasn't brought back your beloved Halloween Havoc Pay Per View. This is the ultimate Halloween bash for the most hardcore of wrestling fans and newbies alike, as there is something for everyone. 

A special attraction for many of us is the King Of Dong Style himself, Joey Ryan, making his return. For those unfamiliar, Joey is a man who is well known for suplexing other professionally trained wrestlers with his ultra powerful .....crotch. He travels the world with his crotch suplexing abilities guiding the way. At Horror Business, though, his patented finisher might not have the same effect, as he is facing off with Otis The Gimp. I think it's safe to say that Otis will find a fair amount of enjoyment out of this very maneuver that typically lays Joey's victims down for the count. 

At the top of the card, we have the fan favorite team of Cole Crazy, Big Cat Scott Henson, Daniel Makabe and Kaden Talbain squaring off against the dastardly foursome known as the HellFire club comprised of  Sarian , “Simply The Best” Steve West, “Uncle Muscles” Allan Jepsen and SAGE in a sure-to- be-brutal Horror Games Street Fight. No one gets out of this one without at least a fair amount of boily damage, guaranteed

The Master of the Air Guitar Eddie Van Glam looks to uncrown the reigning Seattle Underground champion “The Black Sheep” Dave Turner in what promises to be a hard hitting match up. 

Now here’s an interesting one – there’s a tag team match advertised as a “Are You Afraid of the Dark – Fans Bring Flashlights To See The Match” contest between Mint Conditioning  and the 3-2-1 Battle! Tag Team Champions, Legion of Gloom. Spooky!

With a battle royale, a grudge match between Asis NoWarranty And Tommy Lawless, Sonico vs.Tony Baroni and Kate Carney vs. Hawlee Lane, Horror Business is sure to be the most hard hitting Halloween party you’ll be invited to this year. 
Don’t forget to wear a costume!