What Did YOU Have Removed?

November 1, 2017

Hola Bitcholas,

We had a story today about a Kenyan guy who recently had surgery on his twig & berries. Why? Well, his penis was a bloated, 3-foot long monstrosity and his testicles weighed 11 POUNDS!!! He was quite certain that the Devil himself was responsible for his condition. He even said so. As it turns out, the Devil had nothing to do with his titanic genitalia. Nope. 

It was a mosquito.

A mosquito bit his penis AND laid larvae in it. I'll give you a second to wretch...but be warned, the fun doesn't stop there. Somehow this allowed a large parasitic worm to grow INSIDE of his junk. This led to a blockage of fluids (or something like that) and this created the Quasimoto he called a penis. That's my non-medical explanation.

The point of all that is this; when we went through the story, Miles began singing, "there's a skeeter on peter, knock it off!" I, for one, have never heard the song before (with the exception of Miles having sang it in the past) nor had anyone else on the show. Miles insisted that "Skeeter on My Peter" was an old Boy Scout song. Mike Hawk ALSO used to be a Boy Scout yet had no recollection of "Skeeter on My Peter". 

Miles insisted that it was a real song, not just some ridiculous ode to the penis that a person like him would write. But, alas, he was telling the truth. 'Skeeter on My Peter' is a real song.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the lyrics to 'Skeeter on My Peter'.

"There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it off

There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it off

There's a dozen on my daddy's

I can hear the bastards buzzin'

There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it of

There's a skeeter on my peter, sweet Marie

There's another on my brother, can't you see

There's a dozen on my daddy

Can't you hear those bastards buzzin'

There's a skeeter on my peter, sweet Marie

There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There's a skeeter on my peter

playing ping pong with my ding dong

There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it off

There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it off

There's a thousand more a comin',

I can hear them all a buzzin'

There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it off

There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There's a skeeter on my peter

Cuz it knows there's nothin' sweeter

There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There's a spider up inside her, get it out

There's a spider up inside her, get it out

There's a spider up inside her

Cuz there ain't nowhere that's wider

There's a spider up inside her, get it out"

You're welcome.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!

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