Ryan Castle
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SHOW # 2119 MARCH 18 2015
"Hola, To the delight of and at the request of no one on this Earth, Randy Quaid and his equally insane wife Evi, recorded and released a sex tape. The inherent flaw in their sex video is that it features THEM. And worse, they do a little bit of everything for your viewing (dis)pleasure, including a particularly disturbing scene where Randy wraps a belt around his wife's neck while she pleasures herself with a vibrator... while he explains that this is how David Carradine died. If that's not distracting enough (and it's not) it should be noted that their dog is in the room and is barking the ENTIRE time. It's frankly, the worse sex tape ever and should NOT be seen. I'm not even offering a link to it because I don't hate you. The video did inspire today's question: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, 'I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT?' I think I agreed with each and every answer given. Here are a few examples: His drunk buddy dropped his pants at a party to show everyone the golf ball- sized cyst on his back just above his butt crack. Cysts, by the way, are NEVER awesome to see Big woman at Wal- Mart wearing her sweatpants inside- out... there was a poop stain on the butt Discovered mom's "big purple dildo" on her bed. Parents, PLEASE put your sex toys away. I do! Walked in on his female roommate masturbating to 'Sons of Anarchy'... on HIS leather chair The 'movie' "2 Girls, One Cup" Wandered into the locker room at the gym and the first thing he saw was an old man's testicles Walked into the COMPANY bathroom to discover his co-worker FULLY naked, washing his junk in the sink. If that wasn't bad enough, he also had a silver c*ck ring A woman got on the bus TODAY with a FRESH poop stain on the back of her skirt. Everyone on the bus opened their windows because the poop was THAT fresh Caught her cousin pooping in the front yard. He was gonna leave it, but she made him dig a hole and dispose of it. WTF?!? Works at a mental hospital and walked in on a guy masturbating in the common area... to the movie 'Frozen'... I've seen the movie about 1000 times and there is NOTHING that should lead one to masturbate. Nothing... not a single thing Yea, it was that kind of day... full of visuals that, in retrospect, aren't that awesome to entertain. Today's question was one that reminds us here on the show to remember that sometimes you'll regret what you ask. Sure, we laughed a lot, but that was always followed with a gag reflex that threatened to call our guts out of our mouths. OK, now that I'm thoroughly disgusted, it's time to say adios... adios. Until next time, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
SHOW # 2114 MARCH 10 2015
"Hola, Certainly you've heard by now that Harrison Ford crash- landed his plane on a golf course after suffering engine failure. He suffered a fractured pelvis, a broken ankle and cuts to his forehead, but he's expected to make a full recovery. Well, his wife, Calista Flockhart, has, according to 'sources', forbidden him from flying anymore. Again, it was engine trouble, not anything he did, but when you're dealing with a significant other, logic, rationale, and common sense are usually the last things to come into play. So now, like so many of us before him, Harrison will either give up his years- long hobby to keep his wife quiet OR he'll continue to enjoy his hobby and have to put up with the nagging. It's how it goes. So with that in mind, we wanted to know: WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO STOP DOING OR WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK? Here are some of the answers to that question: After 2 years of dating, she stopped shaving her arms... not her arm pits, mind you, just her arms. I don't know that I've dated anyone who has NEEDED to shave their arms. The image in my head is horrible. How hairy were this woman's arms?!? Wanted him to stop smoking weed and cigarettes and to stop driving fast cars. In return, she gave up nothing. Sounds about right Can't get his fiancé into WWE... not sure how it's a problem but he really wants her to enjoy it Sex... woman called in and she would like to have sex twice a day, everyday. As much as we'd all like to think we could hang, we probably couldn't, HOWEVER, we could probably (happily) give it once a day at least. The guy she's with, according to her, has sex with her once a week at BEST... and that's if she "begs" He's given up online porn to "save" his marriage. It's f**king porn, man. She shouldn't be THAT insecure. There's a reason that porn is and continues to be the biggest money making entertainment industry I have a hard time believing this, but he says he had to give up masturbating. Yea, f**k that. Masturbation is your right, bitches! You want someone to stop masturbating, f**k them as often as they self satisfy. Otherwise, what's the problem? Clearly, I'm a fan of porn and masturbation! I really am. SIT AND SPIN Jolene joined us today and shared with us what the top 10 artists at Woodstock were paid to play, well, Woodstock. To give you an idea of how much less money artists used to make, just know that the top paid act, Jimi Hendrix, made $18,000. That's it. Consider that some hack like Kanye West charges about $100,000 just to show up anywhere. Paris Hilton makes more than that to DJ at a party. Paris Hilton. WTF has happened? Ah, so if you're interested in the full list, here's a link to Jolene's blog: OK, I'm off! Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
Show # 2113 The Big Brown Blog Returns
"Hola, Man, oh man it's been a looooooong time since I've posted the Big Brown Blog. I've gotten many- an- email over the last year or so asking me why the Big Brown Blog wasn't being done anymore and I've finally decided to answer that question; I've been lazy. Seriously. That's it. No reason beyond me just being the worthless piece of sh*t that I am. Well, the blog is back, but don't think that I'm no longer a worthless piece of sh*t. So, since we last spoke, plenty of interesting things have happened here, but I probably won't share most of that. However, there is this one thing you might find interesting: on January 26th of this year, the Men's Room officially became a syndicated radio show. Yep. Our ridiculousness has expanded to WCMF in Rochester, New York. Not sure how or why it happened, but it did, and we're pretty stoked. Here's the thing, when I was a youngster (ages 4 to 13) I lived in Rochester and WCMF was the station I listened to AND it was the station that piqued my interest in radio in the FIRST place. So, for me personally, expanding the show to Rochester on that particular station is pretty f**king cool. Are there any downsides to this expansion? Not really. I just have to make sure I stop using the names of the people there who I grew to hate. It's like anything else; when you know someone WON'T hear what you're saying about them, it's game on, but now I have to make sure not to use their names. Or make sure that I DO! As a result of the syndication, we've hired another member to the Men's Room. It's a guy named Mike, who interned with us a while back, but did a bang up job, so when our work load increased, we knew damn well that none of US wanted to do it (back to the lazy thing), so we hired Mike, and he does all the leg work that allows us to sound good in Rochester... as well as putting together questions for 'Big Dummy' and a few other things. It's been a busy and crazy year for the show, but all of it very positive. Anyway, the Big Brown Blog is back. Yes, dreams really do come true... and this is not an example of that. Alright bitches, I'll be back tomorrow. Until then, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
SHOW # 1916 APRIL 14 2014
Today is the first day of "Weed Week!"  What, you ask, is "Weed Week!"?  In a nutshell, "Weed Week!", is the week where we, The Men's Room, allow one of us to get completely baked to the be- Jesus and then do the show.  The catch is, we ask you to guess which one of us is the stoned one.  Yea, it seems to work out better for us than you, but, well, sorry.  Feel free to get high too.   So today is Monday, day one of our 'green' shows.  As always (and by 'always', I mean the last time we did this... about 6 months ago) we put names in a hat.  Whoever's name was drawn was today's stoner.  Basic stuff.    While Ted received the most votes as the show member who seemed high, it was actually me today who was very, very stoned during the show.  To be fair, I received the second most votes.  However, to put into perspective how high I was, I forgot to post the blog... so when you see this, know that it's now Tuesday Morning... no longer Monday evening.    Maybe there is something to that whole forgetful thing.  Keep checking back all week for updates and links to any article we read during Weed Week "Hola,   Welcome to Day 2 of "Weed Week!"   Sometimes, when you really, really have to go to the bathroom and you find yourself at the mercy of a public bathroom, few things prove to be more frustrating... or gut crippling... than a door that requires a punch- code to be unlocked.  Happened to a guy early Sunday morning at the Francis Marion Hotel in downtown Charleston, South Carolina.  He had to poop and he had to poop badly.  Anyway, he repeatedly tried to get the code right, but he couldn't do it in time... so he pulled down his pants and pooped on the floor JUST outside of the bathroom.  He was arrested and the police report states that "a large quantity of fecal matter" was observed.  For his part, the pooper was genuinely remorseful, saying that he didn't mean to do it, he couldn't hold it (long enough to give the keypad another try) and that he'd clean it up.  He spent the night in jail... and all he wanted to do was poop.  He got SO close.    On a much more serious note, Frazier Cross, that's the former KKK p*ssy who opened fire at two separate Kansas City- area Jewish Center, murdering three people because he hates Jews, blah, blah, blah... well, none of the three people he murdered were Jewish.  Small detail, but we know just eats Frazier up.  Hard to be a martyr when you screw up.  Today's question:  WHAT DID YOU ALMOST ACHIEVE, BUT JUST DIDN'T?   SIT AND SPIN Jolene contributed to "Weed Week!" by bringing  us the 'top 10 stoner songs of all time'.  Here's the link:   I agreed with some of the list, most of it, really, but with the caveat that I don't know how I'd rankthem, but they're (almost) all good songs to listen to when you're stoned.  Aw crap, did it again!  Maybe it's because of "Weed Week!" , but I forgot to post this blog yesterday as well!" Wednesday our head chef, Thee Ted Smith brought us a list of the 25 best stoner foods. No matter if you agree or dissagree, you will be hungrey by the end of this list.     Until later today, STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
SHOW # 1912 APRIL 8 2014
"Hola,   There's a guy named Heath, and Heath joined an online dating service a few months ago.  The long- and- short of his "dilemma" is this; he met a "beautiful" woman who, in his words, was "prefect"... she was hot AND has a good personality, but there's one thing he admits he just can't move past; she's missing a thumb.  This really bugs Heath.  Doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but in the pursuit of nookie, I've ignored smells, sounds, hair in unexpected places, terrifying moles and lazy eyes.  Sometimes you just wanna get laid and it doesn't matter what that might entail.  On that note, the folks at Reddit came up with this Sometimes, when you're super- horny and you find that CAN scratch that itch, well, you tolerate some things that you'd normally find to be a deal- breaker.  WHAT'S THE HARDEST THING YOU'VE HAD TO IGNORE IN THE PURSUIT OF SEX?   Went to a girl's house; she'd left a monster turd in the toilet   Beautiful woman, but she had an under- developed right hand   On a camping trip, his friend walked in, but the girl didn't notice, so he kept going   She had an extended tailbone, which is 'nice- speak for a f**king TAIL!   The girl he was with wanted her boyfriend to watch so he could learn 'good oral technique'.  Says a lot   She endured a hairy- shouldered man with a small penis   Dealt with a "seriously cross- eyed" woman.  I can't lie, and maybe I'll sound shallow and cruel, but I would laugh my ass off.    Had sex with his girlfriend in the car... while his friends were pounding on the windows wanting a ride   Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of hair... none of it on his head   She had a large and hairy mole just above her tailbone.  He actually lost his erection... and he was in the process of losing his virginity!   She would hold her breath until she passed out.  First time she did it, it freaked him out because he didn't know if she was dead or not   Beautiful girl "inside and out", as he put it... but she had a severe speech impediment and he couldn't deal   The girl he dated for awhile LAUGHED when she climaxed... that's what she told him, anyway   Until tomorrow, rock out and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"